


Thou Shalt Not...

by RhiBee



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boarding School, Eventual Romance, F/M, Football | Soccer, Humor, M/M, POV First Person, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-10 03:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 54,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2008851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhiBee/pseuds/RhiBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Senior year at King’s Academy is almost over, and Loras Tyrell has a major problem. Not college, he’s got that figured out, not failing grades, he passing with honors. He has got a much worse problem; he is in love with his best friend. As much as Loras tried to hide it, everyone seems to know that one, he is gay, and two he is head over heels in love with Renly Baratheon. But will he be able to risk coming clean to Renly if it means losing his best friend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the mix for the playlist, I suggest you listen while you read :) http://8tracks.com/velocity890/thou-shalt-not  
> Time line is all screwy so their ages don't line up right but for the sake of this story we are going to ignore that. Also, I am not a soccer player, nor a soccer lover so I know very little about soccer besides the basic concepts. Sorry!

I’d never had this much trouble catching my breath. But damn, was that striker from Bravos Academy fast. We were matching pace down the side lines, but he had control on the ball and I was struggling to find the right moment to stick my foot out and snag it. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my fellow defender, Theon, shuffling towards us from across the field, leaving his position. Idiot. I thought, seeing the other opposing striker make his way to where the field was now wide open, due to Theon idiocy. Jaime was yelling at me from his post at the goal, cupping his gloved hands around his month hoping his voice would reach me. While I couldn’t hear him I could see he was trying to notify me of the wide open striker Theon had left alone on the other side of the field. At that moment, I knew we were doomed.

In one last attempted to save us I stuck my foot out, already at an awkward angle to tackle block the guy. But, it was a futile attempt and only caused me to stumble. I saw the grass before is hit it, feeling my calf muscle strain as I hit the ground. I didn’t see the goal, but by the sounds of Jamie’s screeching, it must have been a post pass to the wide open striker. 

I rolled over, staring up into the sky. There goes our shot at championships. I thought as I watched the clouds and heard the buzzer that ended the game. For a moment I thought about just lying here on the grass to wallow in my self-pity. That was in till Robb Starks head poked into my view. He was our center striker, and his curly brown hair was damp with sweat. He stuck out a hand to me and I forced myself to grab it and stand. 

“You did what you could.” He stated grimly. I groaned a little bit. He sounded like I was a heart surgeon who accidently cut the central artery. Jaime caught me on my shoulder as he came from the goal keeper position, giving it a firm squeeze as he passed. As I walked with Robb and Jamie back towards where coach and the rest of my team stood I mourned silently for myself and how I knew coach was going to chew me out about my mistake. How could I be going to collage on a full ride soccer scholarship when I couldn’t even stop a guy who was only a few lengths in front of me? I brooded as I pulled my cleats and shin guards off, but was interrupted by an arm slug over my shoulders. I knew it was Renly’s before I even looked. He grinned lopsidedly at me, but I only frowned in return. 

“Oh, c’mon, we still have a chance at coming in third in the state!” He stated, squeezing me as he talked. I frowned back. 

“You wouldn’t be saying that if it was you who fucked it up for the team,” I mumbled. Renly shrugged his shoulders, taking his arm back and reaching down to unlace his cleats and pull them from his feet. I crinkled my nose as he did so. “You sure do smell,” I muttered, feeling a slight smile tug at the corner of my lips. Renly shot a glare at me and threw the cleat at me. “Oh no please don’t let it touch me, oh god,” I said, covering my mouth and scrambling backwards on the grass, feeling the disappointment of the loss of the game leaking from my mind. Renly laughed a little as he rescued me from his cleat by scooping it up and putting it into his bag. I stood, shouldering my soccer bag and waited for Renly, curling my bare toes into the grass. Renly was our right striker, but he was second string, behind Jon, so he didn’t play nearly as much as I did. I was left defense, and since I did track on the off season I rarely got tried, so normally I would play a whole game. While Theon was subbed in half was through the game on my right, taking Renly’s older brother, Stannis’, place. 

Renly clambered to his feet and we started off towards the dorms. I glanced over my shoulder to look at Jaime, my current roommate, and to see if he was coming. Renly lived in junior dorm building next to mine. Senior dorm was a palace compared to junior dorm. At least, that’s what I had thought when I moved up. But that could have been because I roomed with Viserys Targaryen junior year and he scared me a little bit. Jaime Lannister compared to Viserys was a major improvement. Granted, Jamie insisted I make my bed every morning and he liked to hold secret card games at midnight every once in a while but I could get over that, and I had. It was May of my senior year of high school, and much to my dismay prom was approaching.

I squawked unhappily as my bare feet hit the black tar of the walk way and burned slightly. I veered off course to the grass beside it so I wouldn’t burn the soles of my feet. Renly looked at me out of the corner of his eye, grinning that lopsided grin at me. 

“Y’know, that problem of yours could be solved if you just wore sandals after the games,” Renly stated, shaking his adidas sandal clad foot at me. I shook my head. 

“Sandals aren’t my thing,” I said. Renly snorted. I looked at him, “They are a blatant attack on men’s sport fashion everywhere,” Renly laughed at this as we met the fork in the path between the Junior and Senior dorms. As he laughed I couldn’t help but let a little smile slip from me. Sure I just blew the biggest game of my season, but if I could make Renly grin that lopsided smile as me, maybe I was going to be alright. 

“Okay, fashionista, meet me back here in fifteen for dinner.” He pointed to the ground between us. I nodded.

“Maybe twenty, you stink so bad I think you need a shower,” I said. Renly laughed again and I couldn’t help but feel a little proud of myself. I’d made Renly laughed at me twice in the last five minutes. Renly nodded in agreement. 

“Okay, twenty.” He agreed. I nodded. Renly held a hand in farewell as he turned away and walked off down the path towards the junior dorms. Leaving me standing there looking at the back of his soccer jersey, the big number 29 splattered across his shoulders, and how the fabric stretched so nicely across his shoulder blades. Faintly I could see the muscles of his back shifting under it as he walked. He carded a hand through his hair, allowing me to see the bronzed skin and the movement of the muscle in his bicep. I watched mesmerized, as his black hair fell from his fingers, one slight curl from the next.

I shook my head and turned away from him, briskly starting off down towards the senior dorms. You did not just check out your best friend, did you? I pushed through the main doors. No, that did not just happen, that can’t happen. I scolded myself as I started up the stairs, Jaime and my room was on the second floor. It should be written in the gay hand book; _thou shalt not check out thou’s best friend._ Renly and I had been friends since fifth grade, and never once had I looked at him like that. I’ve looked at other guys, sure. It’s hard not to look at Robb Stark’s ass as he scores a winning goal in soccer, or Jamie’s shoulders when he’s getting ready to go to sleep in our dorm room. But never had I looked Renly. He had always been my best friend. And you do not look at your best friend’s rippling back muscles. 

I groaned at the thought and rolled my shoulders out as I unlocked the door to my dorm room and pushed it open. I had beaten Jaime in the walk from the soccer field to our dorm, but I knew he would show up soon. Tossing my soccer bag onto my bed I shouldered my way in the bathroom we had attached to our room. That was another plus of senior dorms. No more shared bathrooms on each floor, each room got their own. I stared at myself in the mirror, pushing my curly blond hair out of my face watching my blue eyes. _Thou shalt not check out thou’s best friend._

_Thou shalt NOT check out thou’s best friend._

Even if thou’s best friend has great shoulders. And arm muscles. 

I shook my head and groaned, collapsing back against the wall. “Thou shalt not check out thou’s best friend.” I said firmly to myself. 

“What was that now?” I spooked sideways, narrowly avoiding the back swing on the door as Jaime pushed it open, grinning at me. 

“W-What?” I stuttered, looking at him with wide eyes. _This is it. This is the day Jamie Lannister finds out you’re gay and will realize you’ve been looking at his shoulders for the last eight months._

“I thought I heard you say something,” Jaime said, looking me up and down. I shook my head quickly. He hummed quietly, raising an eyebrow at me. He hadn’t shaved in a while, something to do with going to college and his new roommate looking like he’s about thirty and wanting to compare, so the wisps of a dirty blonde hair was staring to grow it. It looked good. 

“No, I didn’t say anything, maybe all those soccer balls to the head are starting to get to you,” I said, pushing my fingers through my hair, trying to play it cool. Jaime smirked at me, but said nothing and retreated back into the other room. I went back to looking at myself in the mirror and picked up a cloth to wipe the dirt from my neck that I hadn’t noticed was there. After I pushed my hair into the perfect I-just-woke-up-but-I-still-look-sexy look I moved back into the other room and shuffled through my wardrobe of clothing that I shared with Jaime, who was currently residing on his bed. 

“What time is it?” I asked as I pulled a pair of jeans out of the drawer and fished for a tee-shirt. I pulled my jersey from my shoulders and tossed it onto the ground. Jaime frowned as the jersey hit the floor. He hated clothing on the ground. 

“6:30,” He yawned. Sure enough as I looked out the window I could see Renly waiting for me where we had agreed to meet. Rushing now, I pulled my tee-shirt on and wiggled into the jeans and just as I was starting to the door I heard Jamie clear his throat. I turned to look at him, lifting an eyebrow in question. He motioned to my jersey on the ground. 

“I’ll clean when I get back,” I said hurriedly. Jaime frowned in disapproval. “Can I leave now, mom.” I muttered jokingly. 

“Your shirt is on backwards.” 

“Wha-“ I stopped to look down at my chest to see the tag of my tee-shirt looking back at me. Sheepishly I fixed it before leaving the dorm. Jogging down the steps from the dorm and towards Renly I looked at my phone, two notifications of texts messages from Margaery flashed across my screen. 

_Good luck._

Did you win? 

I reached Renly and smiled in greeting as I typed out a response. 

_No. Heading to dinner right now. Meet me there?_

“Margaery?” Renly asked as I pocked my phone. I nodded in response, taking to matching his strides as we walked down the path towards the dinner hall. We idled in chit chat as we walked and reached the hall in a few minutes. Pushing open the door Renly waited till I had a hand on it before he let go, making sure the door wouldn’t shut in my face. We found our table, which was right by the end of the line to the buffet style, food we had available to us. It was funny how high school students always sat in the same place, yet wined when given assigned seating in class. Renly and I choose this seat because we could sit and watch our peers. Granted we dropped comments, none of them to nice, about everyone as they walked by.

I fished around in my pocket for my food card before realizing with a start that I had left it in my room. Renly must have read this from my expression. He whipped out his card and smiled at me.

“What do you want?” He asked.

“No don’t bother I can run back and get my card…” I drifted off as I realized that Renly would never give up once he insisted on feeding me. Renly stood and shrugged. 

“You’re one of those geeks who eats healthy food even if they are star soccer players and conditioning every day so I will figure something out,” He stated before spinning on his heel and starting off towards the food. My eyes drifted to his shoulders before quickly looking down at my hands. _Thou shalt not check out thou’s best friend._ While I waited for him to return I took my phone out again, looking at the response of yes from Margery about meeting me for dinner. I left my phone on the table in front of me. A few moments later Renly returned, taking a seat next to me. He handed me a plate of salad. I eyed it carefully, Renly was not renowned for his salad making skills. Renly shrugged at my look as he shoved a few french fries into his mouth. 

“I just followed Sansa and put whatever she was putting on her salad on yours,” He said, voice slightly muffled as he ate. I pursed my lips, Sansa seemed pretty reliable in salad making skills. Maybe whatever was in this salad was the secret to why she was so skinny. Shrugging I started eating it. As we ate we did what we always did, commented to each other about who walked by. 

“I heard that Jon’s natural hair color isn’t black.” Renly whispered to me as said boy walked by us. I laughed a little bit. 

“No way.”

“Yes way!” Renly said, grinning around the food in his mouth. 

“How would anyone know? It sure looks natural,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. Renly smirked. 

“Well, I heard it from Osha who heard it from Ygritte,” Renly said, forking another handful of french fries into his mouth. 

“And what would Ygritte know about Jon’s hair color?” 

“You know how they had a thing a few month back, well, obviously they did the deed and she said that down there-“ Renly motioned to his own lower regions.“-the hair isn’t black.” I scoffed.

“I don’t think so,” I muttered, spearing a tomato with my fork. Renly raised his eyebrows at me. 

“Like you would know any better!”

“Point taken,” I mumbled, moving back to watching the students file by. “Oh, well I heard that Gregor Clegane is on steroids.” I said, pointing my fork towards the senior in question who was shoving some poor freshmen out of the way. Renly snorted. 

“Well duh.” 

“And Brienna,” I started, motioning towards the sophomore, “Jamie is going to ask her to prom.” That caught Renly attention.

“Who are you asking to prom?” He asked all of the sudden. I looked at him, opening my mouth as if I had a quick come back in mind, which of course I didn’t. I snapped my mouth shut quickly. Not that I hadn’t thought about a prom date, it was one of those nagging things in the back of my mind. My junior year I hadn’t even bother to go to prom, I chose instead to stay at home and shoot virtual zombies in till I thought my brain had melted into a puddle of mush from staring at the screen for so long. But this year, it being my senior year and all, I knew I couldn’t skip out on prom. The hardest part so far had been finding a date, being gay and all I wasn’t sure I was qualified to ask a girl and break her heart a little bit because I was to awkward to really want to kiss her. 

“I haven’t thought about it,” I lied, chewing. I watched the line of students move for a second before I let the question slip from my mouth. “Who are you asking?” I scolded myself for hoping a little bit that he wouldn’t answer. For a moment he didn’t, he just ate in silence. This worried me slightly. 

“Well, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this,” Renly started, putting down the food in his hand. I swallowed. Oh god, what having to do with prom could Renly and I have to consult each other about. “I asked Margaery.” 

My heart dropped into my stomach. 

_Thou shalt not be jealous when thou’s straight best friend asks thou’s sister to prom._

“Wait, like my Margaery?” I said, placing my fork down. “Like my sister, Margaery?” Renly card his hands through his hair and I cursed myself for finding the slightly sheepish look on his face attractive. 

“That’s why I said I need to talk to you about it-“

Speak of the devil, Margaery sat down across from me. I had almost forgotten that I had told her to meet me for dinner. She smiled and greeted us, her brown hair swept up into the bun on top of her head. She wore sweatpants and a tank top, but as always, my sister looked perfect. Glancing towards Renly I swore I saw a look in his eyes that he never gave to me; lust. Suddenly losing my drive to eat this wonderful salad that Renly had copied from Sansa I stood, knocking the water I had open over in the process. Renly scooped it up as quickly as possible, but it still spilled across the table. 

“Sorry, I’ll just-“ I stumbled, suddenly embarrassed and used my tee-shirt to try and wipe up some of the water. Renly and Margaery both looked at me in question as I stood above them, “You know what, I’m not feeling too good, I’m just gonna go. See you guys tomorrow,” I said quickly. I saw Renly open his mouth as if he argue with me before he snapped it shut. Margaery narrowed her eyes at me. 

“But, you said you would meet me for dinner.” She said stubbornly. 

“I’ll just… I’ll see you second period tomorrow,” I said quickly before walked away towards the door, feeling their stares boring into my back. I wasn’t lying, I didn’t feel great. And I really didn’t feel great as I walked towards my dorm, my shirt damp from the water spill and clinging to my stomach and the knowledge that my best friend was taking my little sister to prom without asking me weighing down my heart. 

I tried to convince myself that I was upset because she was my sister, and he should have asked me first before he asked her. But, as I walked with the imaginary vision of the both of them sitting in the dining hall, holding hand and laughing like a love sick middle school couple I knew deep down that it wasn’t that it was my sister holding Renly Barentheon’s hand that made me upset, it was that I wasn’t in her place. 

\----

Jaime made me clean my side of our room when I got back and even dared to get mad at me when I didn’t fold the clothing as I put it into the drawer. He stopped me as I reached for my jersey, mumbling about the dirt and how he would get it washed and tossed it in with his clothing. Jamie owned a car, so he actually had the ability to leave campus when it was permitted. Because of this, getting clothes washed was a much easier task for him then it was for me. The only way I could get mine washed was if either Jamie did it for me, or I went back home on the weekends, which I rarely did. 

Once my two drawers of our bureau was deemed acceptable from Jaime I collapsed onto my bed, not noticing the ach in my calf in till I hit the pillows. Groaning I reached down to touch it, Jamie stood over me like any worried goalie would if his star defender was aching. Jamie was my goal keeper, the only goal keeper I might add. So while I wasn’t always his biggest fan, we got along. And we had won and lost games together, so I guess that forms a kind of bond between two guys. 

“Does your calf hurt?” He asked, sitting down at the foot of the bed as I propped myself up on my elbows. 

“Yeah that bastard striker from Bravos made me fall,” I muttered, kneading my calf between my fingers in a hope to make it feel better. Jamie laughed at my words. 

“From how I saw it, you made yourself fall, he was just making the best play of his season.” Jaime said, pushing my hands away from my calf so that he could rub at it instead. Jamie was going to collage to be a trainer, so whenever someone got hurt on the team we were much more likely to go to Jaime then to the nurse who might forbid us from playing. I flopped back down onto the bed, letting Jamie do his thing. The flood of memories came back about Margery and Renly and prom and I groaned a little bit in frustration. Jaime looked at me. 

“Still upset over the game?” He asked, obviously making my groan out to be a sign of my frustration about the game, not over my best friend going to prom with my sister.

“Yeah,” I lied, gritting my teeth a bit as Jaime dug his fingers into my calf muscle. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Jaime muttered, looking down at the work he was doing on my calf. “You did really fuck up by letting that striker get a few lengths in front of you and not being able to catch him…” 

“Thanks,” I grunted, covering my face with my hands, “Thanks for reminding me about that splendid occasion.”

“But the goal wasn’t your fault. Theon shouldn’t have left his position on covering that other striker, it was a dumb move. If he had stayed where he was then the striker you couldn’t catch would have tried to shoot on goal. And we all know I would have stopped it,” Jaime finished, grinning at me. I didn’t bother to comment that Jaime was worse at stopping goals coming from the right, which was where the striker would have been shooting from. We descended into silence, Jaime rubbing my calf and me staring up at the ceiling. The sound of a knock at the door interrupted our moment of silence. 

“Come in,” I yelled to the door, propping myself up to look at who it was. The door knob jingled for a second before it was opened. I knew it was Renly just by the grey sweatshirt that he had his hands shoved into. Sophomore year Renly and I had been the only ones who had gone to the soccer camp that had given us those grey sweatshirts. Jaime dug his fingers particularly hard into my calf and I squawked in argument to it. 

“Am I interpreting something…?” Renly said, moving a hand to grip the door frame. I scrambled to my feet quickly. 

“No, no, Jamie was just,” I started before stopping myself and moving towards Renly. Gently I pushed him out of the door so Jaime wouldn’t have to watch our whole exchange. As my hand touched his chest I winced slightly at the heat that pooled in my stomach at the feel of the muscle underneath his sweatshirt. Renly had changed since I had last seen him, now wearing something that looked much more like he was going to sleep in. Which he should have, it was 8:30, and they made us shut lights off at 9 on school nights. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked quietly as I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. Renly reached into his pocket and pulled out something. 

“You left your phone at the table when you left.” Renly stated, pressing the electronic into my palm. I scolded myself for being such an idiot. How do you leave your phone on a table and not realize it till two hours later? I hurriedly stuffed my phone into my track pants pocket. 

“Oh, uh, thanks,” I managed to say, feeling embarrassed to a whole new level. Renly rocked on his heels for a moment. 

“We don’t have to go to prom if you don’t want to,” Renly said suddenly. My head snapped up as I looked at him.

“What?”

“We don’t have to go. I was only going to go if you were,” Renly said sheepishly, running his fingers through his hair, “We can go up to the peak instead if you want, just the two of us,” The peak was what everyone referred to as the mountain about a two hours’ drive away from school. It had a little base town with shops and hotels and stuff like that so on the weekends kids who could drive would head over there just to get out. Renly’s family had a condo on the outskirts of town that they vacation to a lot. The thought of Renly and me all alone for a weekend sounded nice but I shook my head. 

“No.” I said, “It’s my senior year I have to go to prom,” I mumbled. Renly looked as if he was going to argue with me before I held up a hand to stop him, “Besides, Margaery is counting on you,” I forced a smile onto my lips. “And I know for a fact that she already bought her dress,” I had helped her pick it out last weekend. I realized suddenly that if I had helped her pick her dress out a week ago, Renly must have been hiding his secret about asking her for just as long. Even worse, Margery had hid it from me too. Renly nodded, a slight smile on his lips. 

“Well, in that case, we need to find you a date!”


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning I had conditioning first period. It was sweltering outside and coach just made it worse by telling us we were running. Even I groaned as he said the words, the morning sun beating down on my neck. Everyone on the team gets running partners based on how well they run in the beginning of the season. Robb and I always lead the pack, because both of us to track in the winter. I do relay, while he pole vaults. Soccer runs compared to track runs were nothing. Still, as we reached the beginning of the hill on the woods path we always ran I felt like sitting down and dying. Right there, right now. 

Robb glanced behind us at the others, who were steadily falling behind. Far in the back I could see Renly huffing and puffing in a jog besides Stannis. Coach put the two bothers together for good reason. Whatever Stannis did, Renly wanted to do better, even when it came to running. From where we were I could see that Stannis was getting annoyed at how slow Renly was going, even Jamie and Theon where gaining on them. Jamie was the slowest on our team, obviously because he was goalie. And as goalie you don’t do very much running. But even as Jamie was a slow runner, he held the record on the team for the longest held plank this season. 

I looked to Robb as we fell out of stride, him a bit in front of me. My calf muscle protested a bit as I launched myself in a longer stride to catch him before we fell back into step. Robb glanced down at the watch on his wrist, wiping the sweat off his brow as he did so. Everyone on the team had long since lost their shirts due to the heat. I had mine tucked into the waist band on my compression shorts and felt it brush against my thigh with every step I took. 

“We have to get going,” Robb mumbled to me, showing his watch to me. I grunted in return, it was 7:45, coach always wanted us back by 8 or we had to do suicides at the next practice. Robb spun on his heel and jogged backwards, looking over our team. Out of the corner of my eye I admired the muscles of his legs and back side. “Pick up the pace!” He yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth, hoping that everyone could hear him. 

Doing as I was told, as much as my calf muscle was protesting, I picked up the pace and Robb matched me. I had always enjoyed running in the woods, it made things much more exciting. We had reached the top of the hill, where the trees got larger. Roots cut across our path and it narrowed. It was this way the rest of the way back to the King Academy’s fields. We jogged swiftly, and as soon as we saw the tree marked with the sign directing us back to the fields Robb broke into a sprint. Normally we would sprint the last five minutes of the run, but it being so hot I had hoped Robb would for once not be a goody-two-shoe and just lie to coach about it. None the less, I matched his pace, hearing Jon screaming in annoyance behind us.

Robb was fast, I couldn’t deny that fact, but I knew I was faster. And wasn’t about to give up my title of the fastest of the team to Robb Stark. Launching myself forward in front of him I could hear his grunt of disapproval and the footsteps of our team mates behind us slowly growing dimmer. Finally catching the sight of the green fields in front of us I kept the pace, and Robb kept his step with me. We ran out on the field and that’s when I realized we were going to fall. 

Now, when we work out on the grass we wear cleats, which give your foot something to hold on to if the grass is wet. None of us were wearing cleats. As my right foot hit the grass I felt it slide slightly to the right on the morning dew. But about five steps in, Robb was done for. His left foot slipped painfully into my right calf as he stumbled to the side, slamming into me. It was as accident, but I still growled as his elbow dug into my rib cage. As I struggled to find my footing with Robb half leaning on me while he fought to find his own footing, I saw the grass of our field fast approaching for the second time in the last twenty four hours. I hit it with a grunt, narrowing dodging Robb who landed on his forearms, half of me trapped under him. I rolled quickly to the side, fearing what would happen if our skin touched. 

Gasping for breath we lay there, hearing the whoops and laughter of the rest of the team as they caught up to us. Obviously the rest of the team had more brain cells than Robb and I because they slowed to a walk as they hit the grass. For a moment I felt like punching Robb for being such a stuck up bastard that he couldn’t accept that I was faster than him. That was before I heard the laughter coming from beside me. Robb turned his head to look at me, laughing in between the gasps for breath. 

Once we had regained our breaths and coach had told the team to get a move on if we wanted to shower and dress in time to be ready for second period Renly found me. His face was flushed as we jogged lightly back to the locker rooms and he had pushed his black hair away from his face so much that it was horridly messed up. On top of everything he had a sour look on his face. 

I breathed happily as I pushed open the door to the air conditioned building and into the locker room and smiled weakly at Renly. 

“What’s up with you frowny face?” I asked, pushing him slightly as he turned to unlock his locker. Having a last name like Baratheon meant he got a locker quite close to the beginning of the row. I leaned against the cold metal, letting my cheek rest against it as I watch him. I willed myself not to look at his bare chest. 

“Stannis was being a royal pain in the ass,” He muttered stubbornly, shaking the locker when he screwed up the code again. I pushed him aside and unlocked it for him before moving away to go to my own locker. 

“Isn’t he always?” I called back to him. My locker was almost directly across from his. I peeled off my sneakers and socks and left them in my locker, pulling out my school uniform. Even if I knew I was gay, no one else knew, so I felt so shame in changing in front of other guys. Once I was done changing into the tan pants and had managed to somewhat tuck my white shirt into them and done up my belt I shouldered my backpack and slung on tie around my neck. Moving back to Renly as I rolled my sleeves up. 

“He kept yelling at me for going slow,” Renly muttered, still refusing to smile at me.

“Well you were going slowly,” 

“Gee thanks,” Renly drawled as we started for the door. I shrugged, holding the door open for him. 

“I’m just telling you the truth.” I said with a nod. “Maybe if you went for runs with me you wouldn’t be,” I grinned at him. Renly rolled his eyes. 

“You run like ten miles a day,” Renly groaned, “After that four miles run I already feel like dying, let alone ten,” We reached where my next class was, Chemistry. We weren’t late yet, but we defiantly were not early. Renly still needed to walk to the other building for his second class. I paused to look at him. “We could still go to the peak instead of prom,” Renly said slowly. I shook my head. 

“No, we already went over this, I’m not stealing my sister’s prom date to go to some overpriced mountain,” I said firmly. Renly cracked a small smile at me. “You better get going,” I said quickly, turning around to go to class. I jumped as I felt a hand on the small of my back. 

“You’re shirts untucked,” Renly muttered, pushing the shirt back in. My breath caught in my throat as his finger grazed just barely underneath the waist band of my pants. “There, good as new,” Renly grinned and I forced a smile onto my lips before pushing my way into Chemistry. I froze for a moment as I saw that my seat next to Margaery had been taken by Theon. She looked at me helplessly and mouthed a silent I’m sorry. Nodding to her I retreated to the back of the room and took a seat next Sansa. 

I took a deep breath and pushed my hands through my hair, watching our teacher as he found his way into the class room. Chemistry was my one bad class, and I normally scraped by by cheating off of Margery. As I held my head in my hands my mind raced to the searing heat I had felt when Renly had tucked the back of my shirt in for me. It was a friendly gesture; simply just fixing you’re best buddies shirt for him. Desperately I shook my head, feeling the heat pool in my stomach when I just thought about the feeling of his calloused finger tips on my back. My mind flashed back to yesterday when I had admired his shoulders from afar. 

_Thou shalt not check out thou’s best friend._

I shook my head and tried to focus on the fake wood of the desk below me. Someone had drawn a crude drawing of King Academy’s mascot on the left side. _Renly is not cute._ Even as I thought those words I knew deep down that he was. Beneath the curly black hair was a firm jaw line and that lopsided grin that sent shivers down my spine every time he did me the pleasure of showing it to me. _Renly. Is. Not. Cute._ I chanted in my mind and I guess I must have looked worried because Sansa poked me in the shoulder with her pen. I snapped up straight looking over at her. 

“Loras are you okay? Because if you are sick I would prefer if you didn’t hurl all over my chem notes,” Sansa said, tilting her chin up slightly. I quickly fished a pencil out of my back pack and opened my notebook hoping it looked like I was paying attention. 

“I’m okay don’t wo-“ I started before being cut off by a glare from the teacher in front of us. He paused his lecture to stare at us and I froze like a deer in headlights. The staring was some kind of warning to us to be quiet. I decided to abide to the warning and scribbled on the side of my notebook that faced Sansa. 

_I’m fine. Just tired. You’re brother made us sprint this morning_. I lied to her through my note. The run with Robb had been nothing. The way Renly touched me had been something. She nodded in return to me not bother to write a note back. We stayed like that for a while till she reached over and drew a crooked flower on the side of my notebook, smiling a little before writing. 

_So who’s the lucky girl who gets to go to prom with the gorgeous Loras Tyrell?_ Her handwriting was curvy and beautiful and I chuckled a little bit before responding.

 _No one yet. I’m sure you’ve got guys falling at your feet with roses asking for your hand._

_No…. no one yet._ Her response startled me a little bit. Sansa and I had never really known each other enough to be able to call each other friends but I still knew her. I had played soccer with Robb since I was little and she came to all of his games, which meant all of my games. Robb had whispered to me once in freshman year and she had said I was cute. I had just gotten flushed and brushed it off. Freshman year had been the time when I was just starting to think of myself as possible gay, so I had no interest in Sansa. But even if we hadn’t known each other that well, I knew she was pretty, and from the times I had worked with her in class I knew she was smart. So it surprised me a little bit that she didn’t have a date yet. 

Then, the idea hit me like a ton of brick. It was like in the cartoons when a little light bulb went off inside a characters mind.

I was going to take Sansa to prom.

It would work out perfectly. She was beautiful and I could tolerate being around her. It would just be the icing on the hiding the fact that I was gay cake I was baking. Quickly I wrote a note out to her.

_So you have no date to prom?_

_Yeah, basically._

_How about you be mine?_ Sansa shot me an are-you-crazy look before she wrote back. 

_I thought you were gay._ I froze as I read the note and shook my head very quickly, willing the heat to leave my cheeks. Taking her pen I scribbled out her last note, as if the ink hiding her words was enough to dispel all rumors about me and gay. She took the notebook back from me, frowning. _Besides, you’re way out of my league._

 _No I’m not. Please just go to prom with me._ I drew a smiley face next to the note. She huffed but wrote back with a yes. For a moment I thought I should hug her, but then I remember that we were in the middle of class and Margaery was looking at me over her shoulders with a puzzled look. 

Sansa smiles at me. And I have a prom date. 

\---

Sansa and I agreed to meet up after school. Well, more like Sansa hinted that we should and I knew the only thing harder than finding one prom date would be finding another if Sansa bailed on me because I wouldn’t hang out with her. She met me in the courtyard, looping her arm through mine. 

“I have practice in an hour,” I reminded her quickly and she rolled her eyes. 

“Please, I know,” She mumbled, “Robb is my brother after all; I always know when you guys are practicing. It’s like a brother sixth sense,” She held her free arm up near her head, using her pointer finger to act as a fake antenna, “I have a Robb radar,” I laughed a little bit at her. She felt awkward against my side, but maybe that was just me. 

“So what’s your family like?” I asked quickly, trying to make small talk with her. While Sansa and I had known of each other’s presence for a long time we had never really talked, so finding something to converse with her was a challenge for me. Small talk was not my forte. Still, my question was useless; I knew what Sansa’s family was like. Way back when we were younger I had gone over to their house once or twice with Robb after practices. Or Mr. Stark had given me and ride home after practice. 

Sansa sighed in response to my question. “Eh,” She answered shrugging her shoulders and squeezing my arm, “Boring,” I scoffed.

“The great Stark family, summed up in one word by the eldest daughter, boring,” I waved my hands as if my words were being displayed on a sign. “So articulate.” Sansa giggled at me and sat down on one of the courtyard benches, tugging me down with her. She dropped my arm and I reached out to touch the rose bush next to us. 

“Well, we don’t do much,” She smiled gently at me. I met her gaze; trying to hide the fear of females and relationships I had buried underneath my skin. 

“If your family is boring then tell me about yourself,” I offered. Sansa leaned back on the bench, looking at me out of the corner of her eye. 

“When did you know?” She piped up suddenly, brushing off my question. I frowned at her. 

“Know what?” 

“That you were… y’know,” She motioned with her hands and it sunk in with me. Sansa Stark was asking when I knew I was gay. I opened my mouth in shock for a second, stumbling to find the right excuse. 

“I’m not-“ 

_“Loras.”_ She cut me off, her voice strong and ridged. And for a moment I thought it was my grandmother scolding Margery and I for not washing our hands. Not this girl who I barely knew bluntly telling me I was gay. I stared at her for a little bit and then looked down at my hands. I didn’t talk about this kind of stuff, no one did. “We all know you are gay,” Sansa said, her voice dropping down into a whisper at the last word. 

“Who’s we?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly. I sounded more like a terrified twelve year old then the seventeen soon to be eighteen year old I really was. Sansa blinked for a moment. 

“I dunno me, Dany, Robb, Margery-“

“Margery!” I squawked, standing up suddenly. Sansa looked up at me, her face holding a look of worry for a moment. She stood up slowly reaching out to touch my forearm again. I felt as if they world was spinning around just me. I didn’t want to come out of the closet, but it felt as if Sansa had wiggled her way behind me and was shoving me out. I opened my mouth to argue with her more when I heard the chuckling of a few boys from across the courtyard. Sansa’s hand slid down to intertwine with my own finger. Robb and a few of his friends stood across the yard, grinning ear to ear at the sight of Sansa’s hand in mine. 

Suddenly, Sansa leaned up and pressed a lip gloss covered kiss right onto my lips. 

“Ew!” I cried in protest, thankfully not loud enough for Robb and the other to hear. I reached up to wipe the lip gloss off my lips. Sansa stopped me half way, grabbing my hand. The boys cat called from across the yard before continuing on. 

“No you don’t,” She said. “You’re not gay remember?” Sansa said sternly. I dropped my hand to my side, realizing what game she was playing. 

“Don’t do that again,” I whispered to her harshly, the sour lip gloss taste rolling around on my tongue. I bunched my face up, finding the taste weird, and definitely not attractive, “I don’t like…” I drifted off. 

“Kissing girls?” Sansa finished for me, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah.” I said stiffly, running a hand through my hair, I reached over and picked up my backpack. “Look I have to go. See you in class tomorrow,” I said, waving good bye to her as I walked away. As I jogged to the locker room it dawned on me. 

I told her I don’t like kissing girls. 

\---

At practice later that day coach allowed us to scrimmage. This normally was my favorite thing. Because we only have one goalie when we scrimmage Jamie takes one goal with a single defender; me. While Theon and Stannis take the side to act as defenders but without a goalie. This poses a challenge for both sides. Because while Theon and Stannis had no goalie, they had power in numbers, there were two of them compared to my singular entity with Jamie in my goal. But on my side, you had to get past me and manage to get a kick that Jamie couldn’t stop. 

Even if scrimmages were normally my favorite thing, I was so pissed about Sansa I couldn’t focus. Robb faked me out a matter of minutes into the scrimmage. Cleaning making it look as if he was diving to the right before cutting back to the left. Jamie was so shocked that it happed he wasn’t paying very good attention when Robb kicked the ball for Jamie’s bad side, the right. His fingers skimmed the ball, but still missed and it shot into the net. Robb whooped and gained a high five from Renly who had been put in as Robb’s other striker. 

“What, all that time kissing my sister messing with your head Loras?” Robb teased, jogging backwards back to his side of the field. I curled my lip slightly in frustration. 

If there was one thing I hated more than Sansa practically shoving me out of the closet, it was Robb Stark scoring goals on me. I gritted my teeth and glanced back to Jamie who gave me a-what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you look as we all returned to our starting positions. Due to the goal, coach handed the ball off to Jon, who was playing as one of my two strikers next to Jorah. 

“Jon,” I called to him, taking a few steps forward so I was closer to our mid fielder, Gendry. Jon glanced back to me, almost too quick for me to tell if he saw me motion to Genry. It was a risky move to pass the ball that far back with so many less guys on the field. Backpedaling back to my spot safely behind Gendry I watched coach blow the whistle around his neck. Swiftly, Jon passed the ball back to Genry, taking Robb off guard, who must have been sure that Jon was going to just dive forward with the ball. Unfortunately, Renly seemed to have caught onto our plan and had taken off down the sidelines the second the whistle had been blown. He was barreling towards Gendry, and even from behind him I could practically see Gendry’s muscle tense up when he realized he was cornered. 

“Open, open behind!” I screamed to him, taking off up the field. Luckily, Gendry noticed me and just as Renly was upon him passed the ball up to me. I guess the fact that I had even come up past the 30 meter mark surprised Robb, because Jon wasn’t having that hard of a time keeping him from getting to me. Gendry had not had such luck with Renly who had shifted his attention to pressuring me. He came up from behind me, with the mind set to tackle block me. Even if I did find Renly super attractive outside of soccer, I wasn’t about to let him steal the ball from me. Realizing it was my only chance I took off up the field, hoping the Renly wouldn’t be able to catch me. 

Because Renly was hot on my trail, Gendry had managed to work his way up the field, and Jorah down towards the goal. Realizing how much ground I had covered in my sprint away from Renly, and that Jorah was wide open I swung my foot back and slammed the ball as hard and I could. It soared in a beautiful arch across the sky and Renly bumped into me from behind as I stopped to watch it. Just as I thought it was much lucky day and I was finally going to make up for all the stupid soccer mistakes I had made in the last twenty four hours the ball soared clean over Jorah and into the woods.

“Out!” Coach yelled. 

_You have got to me kidding me._

I held my face between my palms and let out the most pitifull groan I had ever made. Renly clapped me on the shoulder, grinning widely.

“Better luck next time, champ,” 


	3. Chapter 3

That night I dream about kissing Sansa. Sometime I think like it, and hold her gently in my arms and sometimes I would open my eyes and it would be Renly pressed against my lips. I woke with a start to a sharp poke in my side. Jaime glared down at me from above, holding a pencil in his hand and poking at my ribs. 

“Ugh, stop, what are you doing,” I batted him off, scrambling to my feet and watching the homework that was been on my stomach crash to the ground. I picked it up quickly, my eyes fuzzy from sleeping. 

“You were drooling,” Jaime said, using the pencil he had mauled my side with to pick the dirt out from underneath his finger nails. I snatched the pencil back, rubbing it off on my tee-shirt. 

“I don’t drool.”

“How would you know? You’re always sleeping when you do it,” Jaime migrated back to his side of the room. I flashed back to junior year when Viserys had threatened to paint a line down the center of our room if I stepped on ‘his side’ again. Jaime had no sense of boundaries and to make it worse he wanted your side as clean as his. I looked at the alarm clock that sat on my bed side table. 

“You woke me up like an hour before I need to be anywhere!” I snapped at him. Most kids got up at this time and ate breakfast, but I chose instead to smuggle a large amount of granola bars into Jamie and I’s room and eat one or two or those for breakfast if I got to sleep an hour later. 

“You’re phones been ringing from the calls. You’re ringtone is so annoying I had no choice,” Jaime said, the slightest sign of a smirk forming in the corner of his lips. I knew he knew my passcode from the times he had broken into my phone. The beard he was growing was getting longer. At first I had thought it looked good, but now I was pretty sure I wasn’t a fan of facial hair, but that could have been because I was pissed at Jaime.

I snatched up my phone angrily, unlocking it and staring at the missed calls from Margaery. I groaned a bit, she must have thought I was still mad at her. While I do admit I was still a little annoyed, she was my sister, and I wasn’t about to let something stupid like prom come between us. 

_Be in the cafe in five._ I texted her quickly. I didn’t like phone calls, let alone phone calls with a worried Margaery. Sending Jaime one last how-dare-you-wake-me-up-early glare I changed into what I was planning on going to conditioning first period in and headed off to the dining hall. Margaery must have not gotten my text or was too busy doing last minuet homework because she wasn’t there when I showed up. Taking my normal place at our table I huffed. Now I was going to look like a loner. That was until I felt the heat of Renly’s body sit down next to mine. He slung an arm around my shoulder, chewing nosily in my ear for a moment. I tried to hide the will I had to lean closer to him and hope he would place a little kiss on my neck. 

_Thou shalt not wish for thou’s best friend to kiss thou’s neck._

“So, Loras Tyrell and Sansa Stark huh?” I moved away from him, pushing his arm off my shoulder and spinning to look at him. 

“How did you-“ 

“Robb told me,” He grinned, hitting my shoulder, “Nice play yesterday, that kick would have been great if the field was another hundred meter long,” I groaned and glared at him. 

“Thanks,” I murmured. Renly offered me a bite of the egg sandwich he had held between his fingers. I declined. 

“But seriously, Sansa? She doesn’t seem like you’re type.” Renly said, taking with his mouth open. Bless his mother’s soul for even trying to teach him table manners. 

“I don’t know, she’s alright,” I shrugged my shoulders. Renly nodded. 

“Sansa’s pretty hot I guess…” Renly drifted off. I cringed from the words. Renly was straighter then an arrow. I managed to nod in an answer. “But geez, I wouldn’t risk it with Robb being her older brother and all…”

“We’re just going as friends,” I snapped quickly, heat rising to my cheeks. Renly quirked an eyebrow at me. 

“Right…”Renly drifted off into silence and we sat there for a moment, me being uncomfortable about our knees touching under the table and Renly watching the kids that walked by. Once he had finished his sandwich and had sucked the bacon grease off of his fingers (while bacon grease was gross Renly’s fingers in his mouth were far from that) he stood and pulled me with him. 

_Thou shalt not find anything about thou’s best friend hot._

I scolded myself a bit; I was going against my whole plan to deal with Renly. Renly motioned for me to walk with him and I followed, hoping I didn’t look too much like a lost puppy. We talked about how coach had mentioned that he might start Renly in the next game as the right striker instead of Jorah. This piped my interest slightly. Coach always started us the same. From left to right, top to bottom it was always like this; Jon, Robb, Jorah as our strikers, Gendry and Rakharo as midfielders, Stannis and I as defense and Jaime in goal. Renly and Theon were our two subs. I know coach kept them from starting positions because they were juniors but also because both could really play any position if necessary. 

But to knock Jorah out of his starting position for the last game of his senior year, that was just cruel. I bit my lip to stop myself from pointing out that coach was probably just joking with Renly and he had taken it too seriously. I didn’t want to shatter Renly’s hopes right now. 

“But hey, Margaery says her dress is light blue, and she wants me to match,” It was baby blue actually, but I didn’t say that. Renly kept talking, “And I know you helped her pick it out so you think maybe tomorrow we could head into town and you could help me find something that might look good.” I perked up at this. Renly had gotten a car for his seventeenth birthday about a month ago, and we hadn’t had very many chances to drive it places. 

“Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll figure out what Sansa’s plan is.” I said, smiling over at Renly. He nodded confidently as we walked into the locker rooms. I checked my phone for the time before slipping it into my backpack and stuffing it into my locker. After Renly had struggled to lace up his cleats (“If I think about tying shoes I can’t do it, y’know!” He had said in his defense.) We jogged out onto the field, perfectly on time for conditioning. 

Coach made us play the card game for the first half an hour of the period, which I personally thought was anything but a game. He would hold out a deck of card and you had to pick one when it was your turn. Whatever card you pick corresponded to a certain exercise that the whole team then had to do. Over the course of the season we had figured out that an eight corresponded to jumping jacks, which we had all decided was the easiest out of all of them. So whenever you had to pick a card, Theon would crouch down and point out which one was an eight so all we ever did was jumping jacks. Gendry blew it one day though when Theon, in the process of pointing out a card, had made a rather lewd gesture as Robb which only cause Gendry to burst out laughing. Coach had spun around and chewed Theon out for that for a while about it. 

So now, whenever we did this, coach would make sure no one was cheating. And in punishment for our little hoax he had made the exercises harder. We hit a bad string in conditioning that morning when Robb, Theon, Jon and Jamie had all picked the plank for four minute option right in a row. When Jaime had visible almost collapsed when he picked the card I was pretty sure coach was doing it on purpose and all he had in that deck was jacks. None the less I collapsed onto the ground between Jamie and Renly and had forced myself through it, even if it felt life my chest muscle were about to rip. As we all clamored to our feet and coach walked toward me I clenched my teeth. No way was I picking a jack. 

“I swear to all the gods in the world, Loras, if you pick a jack I’m going to choke myself on grass to get out of this,” Renly growled besides me, bent in half and breathing hard. Gendry moaned in agreement from across the circle. Carefully I eyed the cards, willing all of my psychic ability to come to me in this moment. Picking the one second to the left I winced slightly as I turned it over. 

“It’s an eight,” I said. Robb whooped. 

“I fucking love jumping jacks!” Someone screamed. I wasn’t sure who, but coach was really to yell at them for swearing on his field. Conditioning went well from there. The rest of us didn’t pick any more jacks, my abdominal muscles thanked them for that, and we continued on to our next class. In chem I sat between Margery and Sansa, willing the latter girl to move up and sit with us towards the front of the class. Margery passed Sansa notes across my lap and winked whenever Sansa had to touch my thigh to retrieve it. 

I didn’t get the same feeling that I had when Renly had touched my back, and she was touching my thigh. I whispered to Margery about how Renly had said her dress was light blue and she told me I’d better correct him. She did not want them to not have the right shades as each other at prom. Sansa let me know that she was going to go buy a dress tonight and that she would text me what the colors were before tomorrow morning. 

In third period I had statics, and I didn’t have anyone who I was really close to in the class. So I sat with Gendry and we didn’t talk. My teachers mumbling about math almost put me to sleep. I think I would have fallen asleep if my pocket hadn’t buzzed with an incoming text message. 

_Why didn’t you tell me the dress was baby blue! Now I sound like a color blind idiot. I mean there is just so much of a difference between baby blue and light blue._ I read the text message in Renly’s voice and could practically hear the sarcasm. I smiled quietly to myself. I could imagine his lopsided grin as he said the words, and I could feel the desire to grab him by his shirt and kiss that grin into a smile, but I shook myself out of it. _Thou shalt not want to kiss thou’s best friend._

I thought about for a moment about how I should write all of my thou shalt not’s down into a book and publish it under the category of gay help books. That thought made me smile again and I was pretty sure Genry thought I was crazy with all the smiling I was doing. 

After statics I had lunch. I had never noticed that Sansa didn’t have any friends in her lunch period, Margaery and Daenerys had B lunch, not A lunch. So I made her sit with Renly and I. She thought Renly was funny and we told her about how Renly had copied her salad making skills two days ago. Sansa had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing to loudly when Renly told her the story.

“I’ll be right back,” Renly said, sending a smile at me that sent shivers down my spine as he walked away. I watch him walk away, his uniform pants hanging low on his hips and the pockets hugging his backside just right. I imagine slipping my fingers into his pockets. 

_No. No. No._

I repeated my thou shalt not’s over and over in my head as Sansa pushed her salad around her plate. This seriously needed to stop. Renly was straight, he was taking my very own sister to prom, and a crush was really not in order right now. Besides, everyone knew best friend crushes never work out. Someone always gets hurt, and I had a stirring feeling in my stomach that I would be the one getting hurt in this story. I needed to have crush on anyone else, Robb had a nice ass, but his stuck up personality got to me sometimes. Jamie’s beard cut him out, but he could always shave it. Maybe Jon, every girl in the school had had a crush on him at some point in time. 

Anyone besides Renly Baratheon. 

\----

When I walked into last period, AP English, Margaery, Sansa and Daenerys had their heads bent together and where giggling about something. There was only one other guy in AP English beside me, so I felt pretty isolated. Taking my normal seat besides Margery they all suddenly quieted down and stared. I looked back. 

“What is there a leaf in my teeth or something?” I raised my hand up to my mouth to feel my teeth for anything when Margery laughed. 

“No, you’re fine, we were just…” She stalled for a second. Daenerys turned back to face the front of the class room and Sansa looked away from me. “We were just talking!” Margery finished quickly. I knew that look on her face; her face was red on one side from where she had held her cheek in her hand when she leaned on it, and there was a hint of a left over coy smile. She had been gossiping. 

“Spill,” I said forcefully, shifting closer to her. Margaery batted me away. 

“No! It’s just silly stuff,” She said quickly, trying to brush me off. I quirked an eyebrow at her, “Just uh, Jorah was totally hitting on Daenerys earlier,” Margery quickly said. I scoffed. 

“Please, everyone knows that, and I know that look on your face, you were dishing out some serious gossip,” I pushed at her. Margaery could never refuse good gossip, and if there was anything she liked more than hearing gossip, it was spreading it. 

“Seriously Loras it was nothing,” She said, suddenly growing serious. I shrugged and gave up, but my mind raced. Margaery always told me this kind of stuff, unless she was saying something about me. I dismissed that idea; there was no way she was talking about me. I remembered suddenly that I had basically confessed my secret to Sansa yesterday, who was sitting next to me drawing flowers in the margin of her notebook. Paranoia hit, what if Sansa had told them, there was no way she would do that. Still the possibilities rushed by, maybe she had told Robb and it had linked its way around to Margaery and Daenerys. I had hoped deep down that if I ever did come out of the closet to Margaery she would have been to supportive, and it stung to think she might not be. 

After class I snagged Sansa’s arm, and pulled her outside. She narrowed his eyes, looking up at me, rubbing her arm where I had grabbed her. 

“What got under your skin-“

“You told them!” I accused her, glancing around to see if anyone was near us to bear witness to our talk. There were a few freshman girls across the yard. 

“What?” Sansa’s eyebrows creased together in the middle of her forehead, staring up at me with a look of utter confusion. 

“You told them what I said yesterday!” I whispered in a harsh tone, motioning my head towards the girls across the yard and hoping Sansa got the memo to keep our conversation quiet. She still look confused waving her hands around to demonstrate that she had no idea what I was talking about. I almost told her to forget it, if she had forgotten that I said that I don’t like kissing girls then that was more than fine. But I wanted to know if she had told Margaery and Daenerys. “You told them that I don’t like kissing girls,” 

“What! No!” Sansa exclaimed, “Loras I would never do that!” I paused. I wanted to believe her that she didn’t tell them, but deep down I still had the suspicion that she did. 

“Then why wouldn’t Margaery tell me what you guys were talking about, she always tells me,” I figured that piece of evidence would break her and she would collapse crying for my forgiveness. Sansa sighed, looking to the side.

“We were talking about Renly that’s why,” She confessed, “Margaery didn’t want to talk crap about Renly in front of you, because well, y’know,” Sansa gestured to me. I narrowed my eyes. 

“Y’know what?” I inquired. 

“You guys are just so close, she thought it would have offended you,” Sansa finished. For a moment I thought about pressuring her to tell me what they had been saying about Renly but then I decided it was better left unsaid. I didn’t want anything to link around to Renly that I had been talking about him behind his back. 

“Okay, okay,” I drifted off, stepping back from Sansa a bit and trying to calm my voice down. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. I thought about apologizing but decided not to. Sansa crossed her arms as if she expected an apology, I kept my lips shut. We stood there for a moment in awkward silence before I caved. “Fine, fine I’m sorry,” I murmured, almost so quiet it was barely there. Sansa smiled at me. 

“You’re not that bad Loras,” She finally said. “But I bet a lot of people would like you a lot more if you just came out,” I shook my head and chose not to respond, waving goodbye to her as I walked away, my mind racing. 

Nothing cleared my mind better then accidently hitting Jon Snow square in the jaw with a misplaced kick at practice. It spooked me that the ball had even gone that way, considering Jamie, Theon, Stannis and I had been sent off on our own to do some defense training. We were working on Jaime’s bad side, his right, but obviously because I was a defender, my aim was not always spot on. I aimed for the top right corner of the net but it had flow past it right into Jon’s unsuspecting jaw. I rushed over hurriedly, Jamie on my heels. 

“Fuck, sorry I didn’t mean that at all,” I said hurriedly as I reached him. Jon was holding his lip, and for a second I thought he was going to yell at me before he shrugged it off. 

“It was a good kick you just aimed wrong, its fine.” Jon said. Still his lip was bleeding and the side of his jaw was swelling a bit so with coach’s permission Jaime and I walked him to the nurse. All the way there I had murmured apologizes and felt worse and worse about it. On the walk back, Jon now equipped with an ice pack against his jaw, we had to pass the football field. Our football team was one of the worst ones in the state and as we walked by all of them where bunched up in a little pack. Gregor Clegane’s head stood clearly about all of them and I watched as his eyes noticed us. Jaime tensed a little bit beside me. Gregor always make me nervous, but I had never seen Jaime show the slightest sign of fear for him. 

Gregor broke from the group, flanked by a few of the other football goons as they approached us. Jaime stopped, I shot Jon a slight look of worry we stood a few feet from him, watching. Jaime’s finger’s curled into a fist, and I guess Jon must have figured out what was going on because he shouted and dropped his ice pack as someone threw a punch. I still had no idea what was the cause of it but I saw Gregor’s monstrous fist wind up for an uppercut right to Jaime’s jaw and I dove forward, Jon was my heels trying to push them away from each other. I managed to get my way between Gregor and Jaime and pushed my roommate backwards. Unfortunately for me that I meant I was on the receiving end for the punch. 

It was so forceful and straight to the side of my face I swore I saw stars. I stumbled backward, tripping over Jaime’s foot and landing smack on my ass. Gregor must have realized he hit the wrong person because he grunted something to his friends and jogged back to the field. I moaned, raising a hand to my face. I felt something wet, but my vision was so blurry I couldn’t see what it was. Jaime kneeled down I front of me. 

“What the hell where you thinking!” Jaime was pressing a hand to my face and I jerked away quickly because it hurt like hell. Jon scrambled to get a good look at me before he handed off his ice pack to Jamie. “Go get the others,” Jaime commanded. Jon nodded before sprinting off back towards our field. Jamie took the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up so he could wipe off what I assumed was blood. Figures he would be too neat to use his own shirt. “Hey, what’s your name?” He questioned. I scrunched my eyebrows together in the middle of my forehead, confused as to why he was asking.

“Loras Tyrell,” I slurred a little, reaching up with my own hand to feel my face. Jaime grinned at me. 

“Good, I didn’t want my only good defender out of the last game with a concussion he got defending me,” Jaime forced a little chuckle, but I could tell he found this whole situation anything but funny. I didn’t laugh with him. “Your nose is bleeding, that’s where the blood is coming,” Jaime informed me, pressing the ice pack into my hand and bringing it up to press against my eye. I groaned a bit. “Hopefully he didn’t break your nose, it’s your one redeeming quality,” Jamie was trying to joke with me but I wasn’t really up for it. I heard the pounding of the other’s feet before they reached us and felt Renly’s hand on my cheek, tilting my hand from side to side and pushing Jaime aside. Jaime stood and coach grabbed him by his shoulder. I watched Jaime get led away by coach, feeling anger boil in my stomach. He didn’t even say he was sorry. 

Even in my broken nose half concussed state heat still rushed through my body at Renly’s touch, only now I was too dazed to scold my body for reacting. Renly helped me to my feet and slung my arm around his shoulder to support me, his arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close to him. Searing heat still raced through my veins as we half walked, half limped our way back to the nurse’s office. Once there Renly helped me up onto the table and stood beside me, supporting my back. The nurse decided that my nose was indeed broken and she set it back in place. I gritted my teeth and instead of crying out in pain from it I held Renly’s forearm tightly and squeezed as she set it. Renly was saying something to me, but I wasn’t sure what, as he rubbed quiet little circles in the middle of my back. 

I still don’t remember much from it, because I was indeed the victim of a slight concussion for Jaime’s protection. But I remember Renly standing in front of me and wiping the dried blood from my face, trying to get me to tell him what had happened but I was to dazed from the concussion and from Renly’s touch that I don’t think he got much out of me. Once it was all said and down and Renly walked me back to Jamie and I’s room and when we found that Jaime wasn’t there he sat on the floor and told me jokes as I tried to sleep. He stole my granola bars from where I hid them under my bed and I had mumbled for him not to but he did anyways. Renly stayed on the floor till I fell asleep.

There as one thing I could conclude about Renly, and that was that even if he wasn’t ever going to care about me the way I cared about him he still did care about me. And when I woke up to find Renly Baratheon asleep on my floor because he hadn’t wanted to leave me alone with a concussion I was pretty sure that I had fallen in love with him. 


	4. Chapter 4

Renly had disappeared for an hour right before Jaime had finally decided to show up the morning after the accident that left me with a very uncomfortable nose. Jaime had curled his lip at me and at the state of the room when he walked in. The nurse had told me stuff cotton balls up my nose to stop the bleeding and Renly and I had managed to balance an ice pack on my nose if I lay in the right spot last night. But now both the bloody cotton balls and watered down ice pack had found their way to the floor, along with the wrappers from the granola bars Renly had inhaled. 

“You look like crap,” Jaime murmured. I sighed, shifting to sit up a little in my bed. At least the throbbing in my head had gone away. 

“Gee, thanks, it’s not like I got this way because of you,” I drawled. It bothered me a bit that I had taken a punch for Jamie and he hadn’t even bothered to come back last night to see if I was okay, or help me to the nurse with Renly. 

“You should have stayed out of it, I was fine.” He muttered. I rolled my eyes, completely pissed beyond belief at my roommate. Jaime watched me for a moment, his jaw tense before he went about gathering clothing and stuffing it into bags. “I’m going home for the day,” He informed me, shouldering a backpack and fishing the keys to his car out of the desk drawer. Jaime twirled the key ring around his finger haphazardly. 

“Why did he try to punch you?” I asked quickly. 

“It’s a long story-“ 

“I’ve got all the time in the world,” I growled at him. Jaime stood for a second before he headed for the door. “Hey! I broke my fucking nose over this and you won’t even tell me why!?” Jaime pushed open the door, colliding with Renly who had been returning from his trip. Jaime grunted and shoved by him, pushing Renly into the door frame. Renly watched Jaime disappear down the hallway; slowly he entered the room, shutting the door behind him. 

“What’s up with him?” Renly asked, setting down the backpack he had next to the bed and motioning for me to shove over a bit. I pressed myself closer to the wall, allowing Renly to flop down onto the bed beside me. We didn’t fit well, I was pushed up against the wall and Renly’s left leg dangled off the bed. When I had been a sophomore and Renly a freshman we used to fit nicely. But that was before Renly hit is growth spirt (he grew four and a half inches his sophomore year) and before I knew I was utterly in love with him. For a second our fingers touched in between us before he put his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. 

“He wouldn’t tell me why it happened; couldn’t he at least say he was sorry?” I muttered. Renly shrugged, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. 

“Don’t worry about it, he’s in a lot of trouble for the whole deal so he’s probably stressed,” Renly said as he sat up, reaching into his backpack that he had placed onto the floor next to the bed and emptying its contents onto my lap. “So I brought you these,” He placed a bag of Swedish fish on my lap and I found myself smiling a little bit. We always brought each other candy when one of us was sick. I ripped open the corner of the package and popped on into my mouth. “Along with my laptop and a few movies. And my keys so we can go get our prom stuff later.” I scoffed at this.

“I don’t think I’m leaving his bed any time soon, Renly,” I said. Renly looked hurt.

“But I need you to show me what the color baby blue is, you promised!” Renly looked desperate. I laughed a little bit. 

“That was before I got punched in the face by Gregor-fucking-Clegane.” Renly smiled a little bit at my words. “Plus your driving skills suck, I was planning on driving.” I added, picking a piece of candy out of one of my molars. 

“My driving is fine!” He defended, reaching over me to plug his laptop’s charger into the outlet next to my bed. I eyed his shoulder muscles as he flexed in the reach. Renly’s driving was anything but fine. But none the less five hours later after a re-watch of The Princess Bride and The Hurt Locker I was sitting in Renly’s passenger seat. He was chewing a piece of gum loudly, going on and on about something that I wasn’t really paying attention to. 

“Renly, stop sign,” I squeaked out, willing myself not to sound like a twelve year old boy. 

“Whoops,” Renly laughed, slamming his foot on the break. I lurched forward a bit, and Renly reached out an arm to stop me from going too far forward. He ruffled my hair a bit as his hand returned to the wheel. I fixed it quickly and even though I wasn’t driving I looked both ways just in case Renly wasn’t paying well enough attention to see a car coming. Renly’s older brother, Robert, who went to a different school then us, had taught him how to drive in a field by their house. And after being in a car with Robert driving I totally understood where Renly got his lack of skills from. Renly’s driving didn’t always put you in danger, but it was almost never comfortable. He seemed to lack the skill to ease into a stop or start slowly, which seriously infringed on the comfort of a drive. 

But, Renly was kind of like that with everything. Either he did it or he didn’t, there was no in between. If he wanted to punch you, he wasn’t going to think twice before he did. Likewise if he felt sorry about something, he was going to go all out in an apology. In Renly’s life there was no in between. 

We had found out there was a place we could rent suits from, both of us too cheap to actually want to spend money on something we might wear once and Renly might outgrow. He claims he still had a few more inches to go but I’m not so sure. We inched along through the traffic going into the city, with constant stop starts due to Renly’s driving style. I quickly pointed out the sign for the store when I saw it, fearing I might get sick if I have to stand any more of Renly’s driving. He parked, totally not in the lines on my side but I didn’t mention it and I stumbled out of the car into the sunlight. I’m was dizzy for a second, the words of the nurse telling me I had a slight concussion and to try and stay in for the weekend ringing in my ears. Renly looked at me across the car. 

“You alright?” He asked, softly enough for me to tell he was worried but not enough that my ego took the hit for being too weak to do anything. I gripped the cold side of the car for a moment, willing the vertigo to leave. Renly was carding his fingers through his hair, mumbling about how we could leave and he was sorry about forcing me to go out. I brushed him off, standing up and walking towards the store. 

"I’m fine. Besides, I have to make sure my sister’s prom date looks at least slightly decent,” I stated, forcing a smile. Renly jogged a few steps to catch up to me, his hand gripping my shoulder for a second in a silent sign of support. Sansa had gone with a red for her dress, she had shown me a picture and we had both agreed it was perfect for her. Strapless and blood red, it hugged her body intel it reached her hips where is puffed out. The trim was black and a little while flower made of fabric was sown onto the bottom left. She had told me that it was best the go with a basic suit and find a red undershirt and white tie. 

Renly shoved me a bit, pointing on an extremely hideous blue vest that hung near the entrance to the shop. I groaned a bit as Renly, shameless as ever, held it up to his chest. 

“Please don’t your hurting my eyes,” I shielded my eyes a bit to tease him and Renly just laughed, hanging it back on the hook and moving along the row. Once he had made it clear his mission was to take down anything that made my eyes hurt I surrendered to the back corner of the store to seek out one of the workers. Before long I found one and asked which one were rentals. 

“Prom?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” I froze for a second. The man before me was handsome, slender face, bright blue eyes and black hair. I gulped. “I’m, um, looking for something tradition, just black.” The worker motioned to Renly who had found a gold vest and was jokingly holding it up to himself for me to see.

“Good choice. Your date would look great in what he’s holding now; black and gold go well together.” I gripped a rack beside me, feeling slightly dizzy again. 

“Um, yeah, no. He’s not my date,” I managed to say; my face had grown red from just the thought of Renly and I going to prom together. _I sure wish he was my date._ The worker shrugged, lowering his voice slightly so Renly might not hear us. 

“To bad, he sure is cute,” The worker grinned at me a little bit. I sighed, watching how Renly’s hips swayed slightly as he shifted his weight onto his other foot. 

“Yeah…. I know…” The words came out on their own, and I almost clapped my hand over my mouth as if I could shove them back inside. 

_Thou shalt not think thou’s best friend is cute._

The worker says something about getting me measured and set about it, using a tape measure to measure the length of my arms. Then my shoulders, chest and hips. I tried not to show any sign of my embarrassment as he worked on measuring my legs. Before long he had me in a black jacked and I button it up as he smoothed down the shoulders and smiled at me in the mirror before disappearing to help someone else. Renly appeared in the mirror behind me, wearing a white jacket and trying to tie what he had deemed to be a baby blue around his neck. Once he was done he put an elbow on my shoulder. Renly had an inch on me, maybe a little less, so his elbow pointed up at an awkward angle when he tried to lean on me. Renly grinned at the mirror, his teeth perfect and straight. 

“I think we would make excellent spies,” He said, I laughed a bit, louder than I had intended and I quickly covered my mouth. Renly shoved me, taking his elbow back and fake drawing a gun from the inside of his jacket. I covered my mouth and tried not to laugh to loud as he crouched down and slid by my feet before peaking around the mirror and fake shooting. He took the lapel of his jacket and pressed it towards his mouth as if he was talking into a microphone, “Backup needed, I request Loras Tyrell for back up,” I smiled down at him as he rolled back and sat down with his back against the mirror. I pulled at my jacket again, turning to the side and then looking back to the mirror. My nose was swollen on the right side, and my eye was bruised black. I reached up to touch it, wincing a little bit. Renly kicked my ankle. 

“Hey, you look great,” He smiled. My breath caught in my throat. “The broken nose really does wonders with your eyes,” Renly winked, joking with me now. I kicked his shoe. 

“C’mon, let’s get out of here, the cologne is getting to me,” I pulled him to his feet and we walked to the counter to pay for the rentals. The worker put the pants and jackets into bags and we left, tossing the bags into the back of Renly’s car. I watched Renly’s face as we drove and thought about what the guy who had fit my suit had said. Renly was cute and I had watched him grow out of his boyish charm as the years had passed. Now all the stood before me was the sharp jaw and beautiful brown eyes of a man. And I was hopelessly in love with him. 

\---

Margaery and Sansa showed up in the afternoon, and since we knew Jamie wasn’t coming back any time soon they took over his bed. Renly sat at the foot of mine, my legs thrown onto his lap. He had supplied me with another ice pack and drugged me up on Advil we had smuggled into the dorms with our prom suits. Margaery sighed, collapsing onto Jaime’s bed. She buried her nose into his pillow for a second. 

“God I can smell his sexy soccer goalie sent from here,” She breathed, Sansa laughed and I covered my ears. 

“We don’t talk about other members of the team and sexy,” I groaned, pressing the ice pack closer to my face and groping my night stand for the bag of Swedish fish. Once it was found I continued to eat them as Sansa and Margaery debated on going through Jaime’s things or not. Renly shoved my feet off of his lap and stood up. 

“Well, I will leave you in the loving hands of these two fine ladies, I have some where to be,” I pulled the ice pack off my face so I could look him in the eye. 

“Where?” I inquired, tilting my head. Renly opened his mouth and then shut it looking as if he was struggling for the right words. 

“Nowhere,” He said, finally finding the words. I snorted, Renly was a terrible liar. 

“Okay, have fun in this nowhere land,” I waved him off and he left for the door. Once he was gone Margery moved to take his place, falling on top of me in the process. With a grunt I let her sprawl out of top of me, she played with the ice pack, smiling. 

“You sound like his mom,” Margaery said, lifting the ice pack to look at my nose. I tried to bat her off but she only looked more. “What do you think Sansa, does my brother here rock the broken nose look or does he more resemble a beaten up puppy?” Sansa didn’t answer, she only giggled. Margaery shrugged, putting the ice pack back down on my nose and taking a Swedish fish out of my fingers. “Just think, when you are an old man and you look back at your prom picture you will always remember how you got beat up by Gregor Clegane.” 

“Hey, be nice,” I pushed her off of me and she leaned back against the wall, letting me put my legs up on her. Margaery fished her phone out of her skinny jeans, jumping up when she saw the time. 

“Oh my god, I am late, very late,” She scrambled for her sweatshirt, pulling it on and picking up bags as she went. 

“Wait you’re leaving us to?!” I snapped, frowning at her. She fished around in one of her bags for a second, tossing a box of fruit snacks to Sansa who half caught them before they fell to the ground. 

“Watch him for me, will you?” Margaery asked Sansa as she was already half out the door. “Be back in thirty minutes or less!” Sansa didn’t have much of a choice when Margaery blew us each a kiss and left. For a moment we sat there in silence watching the door as if we expected her to burst back inside. I sighed, moving closer to the wall and patting the spot beside me where Renly had sat not five hours earlier. Sansa moved over to sit next to me, she was tense for a moment and I swung an arm around her shoulders, squeezing. 

“Well I hope you like the rough and tumble kind of man,” I said. She smiled at me. 

“Loras I’m sure we will look great,” Sansa assured me, tossing the box of fruit snacks Margery had given to her aside. I sighed. 

“Good, finally someone who isn’t going to force me to eat unhealthy food because I have a broken nose,” She didn’t respond just curled closer to me. It felt nice just to hold her, even if there was no romance between us at all. It was weird, I thought, that girls could hold each other’s hands and cuddle and just be friends and no one would think twice about it. But the second a guy touched another guy it was all out hell. I was half asleep when Sansa spoke up again. 

“Loras?” 

“Mmh?” 

“I won’t tell anyone,” She said, propping herself up on her elbow to look at me. I opened one eye to meet her gaze. “I won’t tell anyone that you’re gay, you can trust me,” I guess that was the first time someone had outright said that I was gay, hell; I never said it out loud. The words sounded so funny to me. I am gay. Loras Tyrell is gay. Sansa was watching me concerned when I didn’t immediately answer her. 

“You promise?” I asked, a slight smile finding its way onto my mouth. 

“I promise,” She answered, lying back down next to me. I closed my eyes again. It was strange to me that I had only really talked to Sansa a few days ago, and I trusted her with the biggest secret of my life. But somewhere deep down I knew I could trust her. “I won’t tell anyone, but Loras, everyone already knows,” Sansa said. Her jeans scuffed against bare calf, which was exposed by my shorts. 

“Not everyone,” I said, thinking about Renly. I didn’t want him to know. As much as I knew I was hopelessly in love with him, he could never know that. I wouldn’t be able to face the embarrassment of when he realized I wasn’t joking and that I was telling the truth. And things would grow awkward between us; he would stop making jokes and stop smiling that lopsided grin at me. Renly could never know I was gay. 

“Almost everyone,” 

“Renly doesn’t.” I blurted out. Sansa shrugged. 

“Then tell him.” It’s not that simple. I think, running a hand through my hair. Sansa sighed, resting her cheek on my chest. “You’re just scared he will reject you.” It wasn’t a question. I looked at the wall, willing my eyes to close. Sansa fell silent and when I looked back to her she had dozed off. I watched the ceiling, trying to follow in her suit. Slowly I did. 

I awoke to the buzzing of my phone in my pocket. Groaning, I fished it out of my shorts, waking Sansa in the process. The caller id flashed with Robb Stark’s name. I glanced at Sansa who was looking at it with confusion and answered the call. 

“Yeah, Robb?” I asked, swinging my legs over Sansa and getting out of the bed so I could stand. My head throbbed a bit. 

“Hey, Loras, coach just told me to rely this to all of you guys,” Robb said through the phone. Robb was considered one of our captains, but we had never truly picked one. So he got information from coach to send to all of us. 

“Why didn’t you just mass text it like you normally do?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. 

“It’s too great to send through text message,” Robb said. I was a slightly more interested now. 

“Well, what happened?” I could practically hear Robb’s smile through the phone. 

“Remember Bravos, who we just lost to and everything, losing out shot at championships and all that stuff,” I groaned just thinking about it. It had been all my fault, even if Jaime had claimed it was Theon’s. “Well they got suspended,” 

“What! Why?” My heartbeat had picked up from the excitement. If Bravos had gotten suspended then we would get a second chance at championships.

“They brought down like two or three college players to play on their team.” Robb paused. “The state sport board decided to bring the fifth place team up to play against us to act as a new semi-final. If we win we get to go to championships!” I was smiling from ear to ear and Sansa was asking me what was going on, wanting to know what I was so excited about. 

“That’s great, oh my god,” I ran my fingers through my hair, smiling at nothing. Robb agreed before bidding me farewell and hanging up the phone. I pocketed it, turning to look at Sansa who was smiling slightly. “We’re getting another shot at championship!” She laughed and hugged me and I smiled. It was all falling into place now. I could redeem myself by getting us to championships and we could be state champions my senior year. It was going to be perfect. 

At least, we thought it was going to till Robb called a meeting later that day. Almost everyone had stayed home that weekend, getting ready for prom, everyone that was except for Jaime. I hadn’t even thought about it earlier that day when he had muttered something about going home. It was a three hour drive for Jaime to get home, why would he have been going home for just the day. We gathered in Robb and Theon’s dorm room, which was on the floor below Jaime and I’s. I settled on the floor of their room after Genry and Jon had admired my broken nose. Renly burst in last minute, flopping down beside me. Piled onto Robb and Theon’s floor and bed Robb finally spoke up. 

“So our second chance in great but we had a problem,” He said, looking nervously at his shoes. I narrowed my eyes.

“What kind of problem?” Someone asked. 

“Jaime can’t play.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short chapter, sorry! But next chapter will be nice and long!


	5. Chapter 5

“What!?” I growled, digging my fingers into the carpet. Jaime Lannister was our only goalie, it wasn’t like a field players were you could almost always find a replacement. Goalies were hard to come by. Out JV team had one, but there was no way he would survive in a varsity semi-final game. Robb looked around the room at all of us. Renly glanced at me, worry in his face. I noticed he seemed slightly sweaty, like had had been working out. 

“He got banned, because of the incident,” Robb motioned to me and I felt all of the eyes of my teammates land on me or more importantly on my nose. I felt my blood run cold. This was my fault. If Jaime had just gotten punched himself and no one else had gotten hurt admistration would have over looked it. But because I had taken the punch for him, it was more than just two people involved in a fight. Jaime couldn’t play and it was all my fault. 

Silence hung over the room for a moment before chaos broke out. 

“This is your fault, couldn’t you just stay out of Jaime’s business?” Theon hissed from where he sat on the bed. I tensed slightly. 

“Well if you hadn’t fucked up in the game none of this would have happened!” I growled back. Renly touched my shoulder from beside me, I shrugged him off, “If you had just stayed in your spot like I’ve been telling you all season then it would have been fine! The goal wouldn’t have gone in and we would be going to championships!” Robb was muttering for us to stop but I was about to crack. Renly grabbed my shoulder again and I pushed him off forcefully, standing up. Theon followed in my footsteps, standing so we could look at each other. 

“I was trying to help you! You had no chance of catching that striker!” Theon snapped, crossing his arms, “I think you’re slowing down Tyrell! Pretty soon you’re going to be as slow as Renly over there!” He motioned to Renly. This was going too far, everyone was yelling at the two of us. 

“Leave him out of this,” I retorted, balling my hands into fists. I was ready to punch him and Theon looked like he was ready to do the same to me. Jorah grabbed my shoulder forcefully, pushing me away from Theon. I hadn’t realized we had stepped closer as we had argued. Robb was on me before anyone else, pushing me out of the room. Renly and Jorah followed. Once the door closer Robb turned on me. 

“Arguing isn’t going to fix this,” He spat. 

“You blamed all of this on me in front of the whole team!” I accused angrily. “It’s not my fault that I was protecting one of my teammates!” Robb sighed, looking exasperated. 

“It isn’t Theon’s fault either,” Robb said, his voice calming down. I rubbed my forehead, the ache of a headache burning under my skin. I leaned back against the wall as we fell silent for a moment, giving me time to calm myself. “Jaime got suspended for a week, if we can win the semi-final game, then he will be able to play for championship,” Robb said. 

“Well where are we going to get a goalie good enough to play a varsity game in four days?” Jorah piped up. I had forgetten Jorah and Renly had followed us and I was almost embaressed to have gotten so mad in front of Renly. But when I looked at him, he looked more concerned than angry. “Goalies aren’t exactly in large supply around here.” Robb shrugged. 

“I have no idea,” Robb sighed. We fell back into silence once more, I stared at my shoes. Robb watched the wall beside my head. We were doomed, there was no solution to this. No one could be good enough to replace Jaime. 

“I’ll do it,” Renly said suddenly, looking at me. I stared back, Robb frowned. 

“Do what?” 

“I’ll play goal.” Renly stated, I snorted. Renly had played goal in grade school and the beginning of middle school before he switched to striker. That was before I had even met him, so I had never seen him play. 

“You haven’t played goalie in years,” Robb said. Renly shrugged. 

“I can relearn,” 

“In four days?” Robb scoffed. I crossed my arm, looking at Renly. He was running his fingers through his hair and looking between me and Robb. 

“Do you have a better idea?” I asked, piping up in Renly’s defense. We didn’t have any other choice and Renly had more experience playing goal than anyone else on the team. “We can change the formation. Play Stannis, Theon and I all at once as defense which would make the chances of the ball getting even close to Renly very slim. Drop a middy so we only have one and then you, Jon and Jorah as the forwards,” Robb stayed silent, thinking about my suggestion. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “We don’t have any other option.” I added after a moment of silence, “It’s our only option if we want to win.” Robb chewed at the inside of his cheek. 

“Okay. Let’s do it. But I except Renly in that goal practicing every time he has a moment off.” 

And that was how I found myself the next day, two hours before prom was supposed to start, on the field with Renly, Robb and Jon. Renly was panting, bent in half and gripping his knees. Robb was standing with his arms crossed, a soccer ball under his foot. We had been shooting continuously on him and he was starting to have trouble. Robb had a fucking good shot, and at first when he had taken it easy on Renly he was blocking them. But now that Robb was going all out, Renly had no chance. Robb would shoot for the upper left corner and Renly hands wouldn’t even come close. 

“This is hopeless,” Jon sighed once Renly had finally gained his breath back. “We need someone who can teach you who actually knows how to play goal. We can’t teach you just using YouTube videos,” Jon turned his gaze to where I sat in the grass a little bit away. “Where’s Jaime when you need him?” I looked at my phone again. I had texted him several times, but he hadn’t answered. I didn’t think Jaime was one to stand up his prom date, but he still hadn’t shown up at school and prom was only a few hours away. I also didn’t think he was one to stand up his team mates when we needed him, but I might have been wrong about that too. 

Robb sighed, picking up the ball underneath his foot and tucking it under his arm. “We’ll pick this up tomorrow at practice,” He stated. Renly wiped the sweat from his brow and gathered a few of the other soccer balls that had ended up in the net. I stood and went to help them return the balls to the mesh bag we kept them in. 

“I’ll see you guys at prom,” I said, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. Renly was my best friend, but he wasn’t much of a goalie. Renly walked with me back to my dorm room, looking as sad as I felt. When we got there, Margaery and Sansa where already there, their dresses hung on the hooks by the door. Renly put on a happy face from them and Margaery pulled him into a hug exclaiming about how excited she was. I turned away so I didn’t have to look as his hands touched her hips. Margaery pulled away and returned to the spot because Sansa’s head so she could continue to the work she was doing on her hair. 

An hour later, I have showered, shaved and founding a matching pair of black socks with Margery’s help. She seemed to always know where my missing socks were. I was struggling to button up my shirt as Renly stood next to me looking into the mirror. He was acting like he had gotten over his failure of being a goalie, but I could tell that it was just an act. Once I finished with my shirt Renly smiled at me in the mirror. 

“I’m telling you your broken nose really brings out your eyes,” He winked and I forced myself not to blush. I tied my tie around my neck and made sure it was straight. 

“Well nothing on you really brings our your eyes,” I replied, lying through my teeth. Renly’s eyes, a deep green, brought themselves out. There was no need for colors or a broken nose. Renly laughed at me, pulling on his coat and I followed in his footsteps. I looked in the mirror one more time to make sure I was content with how I looked. Renly didn’t bother looking in mirror; he must have already thought he looked good enough. His hand hovered on the doorknob and I stood behind him, waiting. He paused, turning to look at me. I took a step back, realizing how close we were. 

“Hey, I’m serious here, you really look good,” He pulled at the lapels of my jacket, straitening them. My breath caught in my throat before I slowly managed to find a smile. 

“Thanks,” 

“I don’t want your senior prom ruined because of some silly broken nose,” Renly grinned at me. I nodded, unable to find words. He told me I looked good. I felt that tickling sensation in my stomach; he told me I looked really good. I snapped myself out of it quickly, scolding myself as Renly turned back to open the door and step out. 

_Thou shalt not get excited with thou’s best friend says thou looks good._

Margaery was on me the second I was out the door, holding my face between her hands and pinching my cheeks in mocking. I struggled to push her away without hurting her hair or dress. 

“Aw, look at my big brother, I wasn’t sure you could wear anything that wasn’t a tee-shirt or a school uniform,” She grinned from ear to ear at me and I flushed a little. Once she had given up her grip on my cheeks and I could finally look at her did I realize just how nice she looked. I already knew the dress was baby blue, but it worked well with her hair. She had braided the top layer of her hair into a kind of crown that met in the back and connected into one single braid. The bottom layer of her hair was lose underneath the braid. 

Sansa looked just as well in return. A braid started on one side of her hair and wrapped around to lie over her bare shoulder on the other side. I hadn’t noticed how her shoulders, while they were wide, were so swan like. Sansa looked strong, but beautiful at the same time, and I thought for a moment that if I was straight we would work well together. But I’m not straight and Sansa and I are just friends. Still, I pulled her into a hug and whispered that she looked great. 

Renly yelled at us to pose. We did and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, a completely genuine smile on my face. I was happy we were going together. After a picture of Margaery and Renly and Sansa and Margaery, Renly wrapped an arm around my shoulders for one of us two. He smelt like the cologne he only used for special occasions. Not the normal earthy smell he had. But he still smelt like all I’ve ever wanted. But I still smiled wide for the camera and laughed at another one of Renly’s joke about my nose. 

Renly grinned at me and I took the moment to look him over once before Margaery took him by his arm. The white jacket fitted him nicely and it really worked with his black hair. The blue brings out his eyes and I feel a little dizzy. Maybe it was from the concussion, or maybe that was what falling in love felt like. I shook the thought out of my head, I would never be able to make it through the night thinking like that. Once we were all sorted and ready to go we piled into Renly’s car. Prom was being held off campus, in a hotel’s conference room about ten miles away from the school, and all four of us had decided to drive together. I pushed Renly out of the way to the driver’s seat earning a yelp of disapproval from Renly. 

“Please, I can drive better with a slight concussion then you can on normal. I want to keep my sister safe.” I muttered, whisking the keys out of his hand and sitting in the driver’s seat, slamming the door behind me so he wouldn’t be able to argue anymore. He muttered something I couldn’t hear but accepted. I had to move the driver’s seat back a bit because my legs were awkwardly longer than Renly’s even if he was taller. Margaery leaned up from the back seat, her phone in her hand with the gps brought up on it, and directed me to the restaurant she claimed was the best one in town. Finally we arrive at the restaurant after a few mis-turns on my part. Mostly because Margaery and Renly were flirting up a storm and she wasn’t always paying attention to when I had to turn. I was starving and helped myself happily to the bread the waiter had brought us. Sansa joined me and we jokingly tapped out bread together as if making a toast. 

“Get it, we are toasting, with bread,” I said, popping a piece of my bread into my mouth. Sansa giggled and covered her mouth. I laughed at my own joke but froze when I caught Renly watching us flirt. He frowned at me and looked like he was ready to kick me in the skin underneath the table. I looked at my lap and for a moment to entertain the thought that Renly was jealous till I remember that prom was entirely my idea. If it weren’t for me we would be at the peak, just the two of us. But Renly was here because of me and my awkward best-friend crush I had on him. 

It was time to accept that I did have a crush on him. It was time to accept that I was in love with him. I shook my head, maybe the accepting would settle in another day. 

Three hours later, the music pounded loudly in my ears and vibrated through the floor. I had lost Sansa to go talk to Gendry and Jorah for a moment and when I turned back around she wasn’t where I thought she was. I looked up to see Renly and Margaery, his hands on her stomach as she leaned back against is chest, her backside grinding perfectly against his hips. I ripped my gaze away, willing the disappointment in the pit of my stomach to leave. But it still hurt a little bit, all of the parties I’ve ever been to with Renly, I had never seen him pay this much attention to a girl. 

_Thou shalt not be jealous of thou’s sister._

Margaery yelled to me over the music and left Renly for a moment to grab my hands and pull me to both of them. She wrapped her arms around my neck and we danced for a few seconds like we did when we were little kids. Full of fake hair flipping and spins. Renly interrupted us to pull Margaery back to him and grinned lopsidedly at me. I forced myself to smile back as the song ended and another one began. 

“God, I need a drink!” Margaery exclaimed, flashing me a perfect smile before whisking Renly away with her towards the water. I spun around, looking lost for a moment as I tried to regain my composer. Sansa found me, pulling me closer to her and into another dance. We laughed and joked as we danced and I spun her around. She giggled the whole time, her fingers brushing the nape of my neck. I caught Robb give me a I’m-watching-you hand motion over Sansa’s shoulder and burst out laughing, my disappointment over Renly and Margaery leaving me for the time being. Robb must have taken my laughing for a challenge and approached us with his own smile plastered across his face. 

I was still laughing as he wiggled between us, pushing my hands off of Sansa’s hips and onto his own shoulders. He pretended to hit me on my broken nose and slap me a few times before he spun me around back to Sansa. And she’s laughing so hard that she barely had time to catch me when I tumble towards her. I wrapped my arms back around her waist and pretend to kiss her cheek as Robb made one more I’m-watching-you motion before disappearing into the crowd. 

“I just got mauled by an aggressive older brother, let’s go tend to my wounds,” I joked, pulling her with me towards a quiet corner where we collapse onto the ground. I’m panting a bit and she’s looks just as tired. “I think dancing is more work than soccer,” I laughed, pushing my hair out of my face. Sansa nodded in agreement. 

“But it’s a lot more fun,” She said, pulling her dress down over her knees and touching her hair to make sure the braid was still intact. I reached over the tuck a stray strand of hair back into the braid. A few passing girls wink at me and tried to invite me to dance but I smiled politely and refused. Sansa looked at me, “You know how many girls have a crush on you? The star defender, tall blonde, funny, stunning leg muscles.” She pushed my shoulder. I shrugged and smiled in return. 

“I guess I’m the ultimate heartbreaker then,” I said, watching the crowd of dancers. Behind a few people I could make out Renly and Margaery. The song had slowed down to something much more romantic and they were holding each other. They looked completely in love. My stomach twisted, I tried to convince myself it wasn't in jealous.

“Why?” 

“Because I’m, y’know.” I turned my attention back to Sansa. She sighed. 

“You should really just start saying your gay instead of just y’know,” Sansa said, reaching over to hold my hand in hers. “And I think the only heart you’re really breaking is yours,” She touched my chest, where my heart was. I thought she is referring to Renly and I and I immediately thought of Margaery and Renly dancing together. Sansa stoked the back of my hand with her thumb. “Sometimes the only way to not break your own heart is to come out to someone,” I looked at the floor, this was way too personal of a conversation to be having in a public place. But Sansa seemed to like those conversations the most. 

“I don’t like Renly,” I said sternly, looking into her eyes and hoping that I looked convincing. She cocked an eyebrow at me. 

“Sure you don’t.” Sansa said, sounding a little frustrated. I must have not looked convincing enough. 

“Besides, he’s straight.”

“How do you know that?” Sansa asked. I take my hand back from her, getting a little mad myself. Why was she so convinced that I needed to come out to Renly? We were perfectly fine the way we were, me pretending to not be in love with him, and him just going about his business. “He could be,” She said, “You should really come out to him.” 

“Maybe,” I muttered, playing along with her. Deep down I was starting to think it was time to let him know. We had been best friends for three years now, even since he was a freshman and I was a sophomore. We met when the JV and varsity soccer teams scrimmaged for practice. I made varsity as a sophomore, even if I wasn’t getting much playing time. Robb and I had been the only two sophomores to make it, even if it was rare to even have one on varsity. Renly had been a striker for the JV team and in the scrimmage I had tackle blocked him so hard that he fell down and sprained his wrist. We met when coach forced me to take him to the nurse myself because it was my fault he even had to go there in the first place. We hit it off pretty quick, and ever since then we had been best friends. 

I stood up, desperate to get out of this conversation with Sansa. I helped her up and pulled her out back to the dance floor to sway to a slow song. I folded her in my arms and she rested her head on my chest. I tried not to watch Renly and Margaery but I couldn’t help myself. They looked so good together. Once the song ended the two of them found their way to us. “Theon is throwing an after party at some relatives of his’ house nearby, want to go?” Margaery asked me, but from the look in her eyes I knew no matter what I said the answer would be yes in her mind. Robb seeming appeared out of nowhere when I nodded. He wrapped an arm around Sansa.

“Uh-uh, no way you’re going there,” Robb said sternly to her. She looked shocked, pushing him away. 

“You’re not mom, Robb, I can go to whatever party I want to!” Sansa exclaimed. Robb raised an eyebrow. 

“There’s going to be drinking, can’t have some puny sophomore girl there,” Robb shrugged and she looked heartbroken for a moment. 

“Robb, we’re her ride home, she has to go with us,” I said, trying to stick up for Sansa. 

“Yeah, we’re a group, Sansa stays with us,” Margaery piped up. Robb shook his head, standing his ground. 

“Jorah’s heading back she can ride with him.” I opened my mouth to argue more with Robb but shut it quickly, seeing there was no way he was budging on this. Sansa looked upset and I hugged her goodbye as Robb led her off to Jorah and a boring night back at King’s Academy. Margaery shrugged, muttering about how we tried before we left prom once it had started to wind down. I took the keys from Renly again and we all got into the car once more. I didn’t have to adjust the seat this time. Margaery had typed the address of the house into her phone and once more we were off with Margaery being our personal gps. 

When we got there, a lot of people had already beaten us there, and the party was looking a lot larger then I had first thought it would be. I turned down the beer someone offered me once we walked inside and Renly thumped me on the back for being the responsible driver and took the beer for himself. I found a soda for myself a little while later. Theon finds us pretty quickly afterwards. I hadn’t formally apologized to him so he eyed me cautiously and looked to Renly and Margaery instead. He looked Margaery up and down and I bristled slightly. Even if she was a man stealing sister, she was still my sister. 

“Can I get you something?” He asked her. She smiled back and nodded, batting her eyelashes a bit. Renly didn’t seem to notice the obvious flirting and chose instead to lead Margaery, once she had gotten her own drink, out towards the living room which had been deemed the dance floor, even if the music rebounded throughout the whole house. I was now dateless so I chose to instead roam the house, idling in chit chat here and there. I had to ref a drunken soccer game in the backyard for a little bit because Robb, who had finally shown up even if he had banned his sister, and Jon had bet a bunch of the JV guys that they could beat four of them without any trouble even when drunk.

Robb’s aim was still pretty fucking great even when he was drunk. Jon’s kick was lacking a little bit and at one point he had ran straight into Robb in a mad dash for the ball. I laughed pretty hard when the two of them fell to the ground due to the impact. And due to their miscommunication the JV guys scored a goal and both of them had to drink a whole beer in punishment. Afterwards I help both of them back into the house and give them water and food and made sure they didn’t get into any trouble. I got a new soda and ate the box of lucky charms we had found in the kitchen. It was fun to watch them attempt to communicate to each other when totally trashed. 

After a few hours I went to find Renly and Margaery because they hadn’t shown back up for a while and I wanted to get going. It was almost three in the morning now and we had school tomorrow. I was feeling like it was time to sleep and didn’t want to ruin my designated driver title by falling asleep at the wheel. I couldn’t find them in the living room where I had left them and had searched almost the entire bottom floor before someone tipped me off that they had seen them going on the screen porch. I pushed open the door and froze at what I saw. 

Renly had his lips pressed firmly to Margaery’s and his hands where cupping her ass firmly, kneading each time their lips moved together. Margaery had her hands firmly buried in Renly’s hair and he had lost his jacket at some time because it was thrown over a chair. I stood silent and still, feeling like a deer in head lights. I wanted to run, take Renly’s car and just drive home. Once I heard a moan come from Margaery’s lips I did turn and run, letting the door shut behind me. I don’t know if it slammed and interrupted them because my vision had blurred when I shut the door. The tunnel vision increased and I shoved my way through the remaining party goers. Someone, I think it was Gendry, had grabbed my shoulder when I had almost reached the door but I didn’t hear what he had to say. I ripped open the front door and the jealous in my stomach exploded. 

How dare he? How dare she? I had been nothing but perfect for the both of them. I had done nothing to deserve having my only hope of Renly and I together ripped out from underneath my nose. By Margaery of all people! The anger festered inside my stomach as I jogged down the steps and to the car. But I scolded myself, how could I have been so stupid to even entertain the idea of Renly and I? My anger transformed into tears and I desperately tried to wipe them away and stop myself. I didn’t cry, I couldn’t cry. Especially over Renly. But I felt the sobs before they made their way to the surface. I collapsed against the hood of his car, letting myself sit on it. I covered my eyes with my jacket, gasping into it and sobbed. I felt so stupid that I tried to stop the tears, sniffling and rubbing at my eyes. This was ridiculous. I was crying over my sister and my best friend falling head over heels in love with each other. I was the ultimate gay cliché. I finally got my sobs to stop and settled for the night air brushing against my wet cheeks. I don’t know how long it was before I heard the footsteps approach. 

I glanced over my shoulder to see Renly and Margaery approaching me. Her hair was messed up and he has his jacket slung over his forearm. I quickly turned away from them, scrubbing at my eyes and hoping they couldn’t make out the tear stains in the dark. 

“I was thinking of leaving,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t give away that I had been crying. They couldn’t know. I turned back around looking at them. Margaery had a look of concern on her face, as if she could tell I was upset, some kind of sibling sixth sense. 

“Past your bed time?” Renly asked, I knew he was joking but I felt the anger boil in my stomach. 

“It’s three in the morning!” I snapped at him. Renly held up his hands in defense, hearing my tone. 

“Okay whatever,” He muttered, sliding into the back seat. Margaery took shotgun and I started the car up once I was in the driver’s seat. For a moment the lights were on in the car before I shut my door and they dimmed to nothing. Margaery studied my face before the light disappeared and I know she saw how puffy my eyes were. I backed up out of our spot, not looking Renly in the eye when I turned around to look out the back. Once we are on the road Margaery reached over to touch my shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked quietly, but I knew Renly can still hear us. I shrugged her off, staring at the road and feeling the tears pooling in the bottom of my eyelids. 

“Nothing,” My voice cracked. I cleared my throat, trying to play it off, “I’m fine.” I muttered. I can’t cry here. We ride in silence all the way back to the school and Margaery goes her separate way back to the girl’s dorm once we arrive. Renly and I walk in silence, my hands stuffed into my pockets. If I just don’t talk to him I know I can make it back to my dorm room and I can go back to crying all by myself. He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell he was a little angry because I had snapped at him before. Once the path split he stopped and I thought about just walking off down the other way and not talking to him, but I found my feet stopping on their own accord. 

Renly looked at me and crossed his arms. 

“What got under your skin?” He asked bluntly. I bristled a little. There was no way to make an excuse for myself without outright telling him I was gay and in love with him. I shrugged, rubbing my shoulder. 

“I’m just tired, that’s all,” I said, looking him in the eye. I wasn’t sure if he could make out the tear stains on my cheeks or the puffiness of my eyes, but if he did he didn’t say anything. “We could have left earlier if you had just said something-“ 

“Just… forget it, okay?” I muttered, trying to sound calm, “It’s nothing,” We fell into silence again. I knew Renly wasn’t good with emotional people, and I rarely even showed him this side of me, so I knew he must have been uncomfortable. Renly rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Renly started. 

“Well, that’s dangerous,” I muttered, even if I was annoyed at him I was unable to stop myself. The corner of Renly’s mouth turned up slightly in a little smile and he hit my shoe with his. That was enough of a peace treaty between the two of us. Funny how a smile could do so much diplomacy work. 

“I was thinking that maybe we could head up to the peak next Friday and stay for the weekend because we couldn’t go this weekend,” Renly said, rolling his shoulders forward. “Friday is a half day anyways, so we could just skip and head up earlier. Besides, I might need some TLC after the game on Thursday.” He smiled at me and I returned it gently. 

“Yeah, that sounds great.” I managed to say. He nodded before stepping towards me. Quietly he pulled me into a hug and I accepted it. My heart raced for the few seconds our chests touched before he pulled away and gripped my shoulders. 

“See you tomorrow,” 

“Yeah,” I pulled away from him quickly. I didn’t want to fuel this crush I had on him if Margaery and him where really going to be serious. I need to stop liking him at all costs. I waved farewell before briskly jogging off to my dorm. As I ran up the stairs I felt the sobs threatening to come back. I had never realized that Renly was all I ever wanted intel someone stole him right from underneath my nose. And not just anyone, my own sister. I shoved open the door to my dorm room and slammed it shut, sliding down onto the floor and not fighting the tears that fell from my eyes. The sobs followed, pulling the air from my lungs. I buried my face in my hands and let it all out. 

“Loras?” The voice sounded tired and I gasped, looking around the dark room. I spotted the form of Jaime Lannister slowly sit up in his bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Quickly I tried to wipe the tears away, Jaime was the last person I wanted to see me crying. Or well, second to last. Renly was definitally last. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of stopping the tears, even if I knew he had heard me before. But the gasps for breath where a dead give away. Even in the pitch black room Jaime picked up what was going on. “Loras, are you crying?” He asked. I didn’t answer, wiping my nose on my sleeve as Jaime swung himself out of his bed, turning the lamp on that sat on his night stand. 

Once the light was on and he could clearly see my pitifully form on the ground he sighed and stood up, walking over to me and pulling me to my feet. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t think you would be back,” I forced out. Jaime gripped my shoulders. He was a little taller than me and his calloused thumbs rubbed small circle into my skin. “Crying because I was gone, so sweet,” He joked. I laughed a little bit between the dry gasp for breaths. Those where the reason I never cried, I hated those dry gasps for breath your lungs forced you to take once the tears were gone. And I guess because I hadn’t cried for at least three years now, I had a lot of tears. “I mean I knew I was special but not that special,” Jaime said as he led me to my bed, sitting me down and sitting next to me. I sighed, still gasping a little. 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you yesterday, I didn’t know you had gotten banned from playing because of me.” I rubbed my eyes while I talked. Jaime shrugged, leaning back on my bed a bit. “It’s okay,” He said. I thought he was going to tell me he was sorry too but he didn’t and we fell back into silence. Jaime rubbed my back while I fought to keep the dry gasps at bay. Once they had faded away to nothing he yawned and said he was tired and got up to get back into his bed. I nodded and went about getting myself ready for my own bed. Jaime drifted back to sleep and I was thankful that he didn’t ask me what was wrong. 

Jaime and I had that kind of an understanding. We didn’t ask questions. I knew then that I had broken that rule this morning when I pressed him to tell me why Gregor had tried to punch him. I crawled into my bed, shutting the light off, and pulling the covers up to my chin. I forced myself to close my eyes and for a while when I did all I saw was Renly’s hands on Margaery before my body finally gave way to sleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my lack of soccer knowledge, I had to watched a game and read a few articles to get it some what correct. I play field hockey, not soccer!

Running was something I could always rely on. The constant beating of my feet against the tar and rhythmic breaths in and out, it was something stable. When I ran, my mind cleared itself, and all I could think about was the finish. My shoes hit each step and vibrated up through my calves to the knee brace that wrapped its way around my right knee. I only wore it when we ran on the track, the tar irritated my tendons more than grass or dirt because the steps were so sharp. Sharp but constant. 

Conditioning the day after prom was a joke. More than half the team wasn’t there, having taken the choice to sleep in instead of going to first period. Robb was there, but he had a major headache and had fallen behind me ages ago. Jaime was to, but he was only there for moral support, and he timed my miles for me. My fastest mile today had been seven minutes and ten seconds, and Jaime had whooped when he recorded the time. We had gone back to our normal routine. He didn’t ask about my break down yesterday and I didn’t ask about the punch. No questions asked, we were experts at ignoring problems. 

Well, I was more of a master of ignoring problems. Renly to be exact. I had stealthily hinted at coach that we should run, that way I didn’t have to talk to him at all if I didn’t want to. And I hadn’t said a word to him. I had lapped him twice now, and he was slowing down, or I was speeding up. Maybe if I ran fast enough I could escape my problems. I showed up early so I wouldn’t have to lace up my sneakers with him or see him in the locker room and now I was desperately trying to think up ideas of how I could avoid him again. 

Once I had reached Jaime and what we had deemed the finish line on my sixth mile coach waved me down and I slowed to a walk. He muttered that I needed to walk the track once to cool down, which always bothered me but I did it anyway. I wiped the sweat off of my face as I walked and now that I wasn’t running all of my problems caught up to me. Renly passed me once and flashed a grin, but I didn’t return it, focusing on the black tar. Coach let me go early, which solved my problem of talking to Renly and I went on with my day. 

First period, Chemistry, Margaery was looking still worried but didn’t question it. Sansa asked about the after party but I didn’t want to talk about it and Margaery filled her in. I told myself that I would tell Sansa everything that had really happened later. I had changed my mind; it was not the time to tell Renly I was gay. None the less the day trudged on, from Statics to AP English and back again. I buried myself in homework at Jaime and I’s dorm instead of hanging out when anyone between practice and the end of the school day. 

All in all, I was doing a successful job at completely avoiding Renly. I didn’t want to face him, in the daylight everything was completely different then how it had been last night. Everything was stark and out in the open like how he had hugged me. And how he made out with my sister. I cringed every time I saw the mental image of the two of them, but as I pulled my socks up over my shin guards in the locker room and tied my cleats into a neat knot I knew it was time to face the music. I couldn’t avoid Renly for much longer; it was killing me to have not heard at least one bad joke today.

I was fishing around in my locker for my mouth guard, it had fallen out of its normal zip lock bag I had it in. They were a pain, but coach made us wear them. Something about dental health and not wanting us to lose teeth. I always thought it was stupid, the pro soccer players don’t wear them and their kicks are twice as high and hard, why do we need to wear them? Anyways, I was picking up sneakers and shirts and deodorant trying to find it when I almost sensed Renly’s presence behind me. It was time to face him. I turned slowly, as if expecting him to punch me. Which would have made no sense, we had made a kind of peace treaty last night after I had snapped at him. But I guess I might have broken it by ignoring him all day. Renly stood with his arms crossed, not a sign of a smile on his face. He knew I was ignoring him. 

“Looking for this?” He held up my mouth guard, chewed and gross on the edge of one of his fingertips. I ran my fingers through my hair, exasperated. 

“Where did you…?”

“You left it on the field when we were doing extra practice yesterday,” Renly stated, dropping it into my palm. “I was going to give it to you after prom yesterday before you gave me the cold shoulder.” He said, arching an eyebrow at me, as if he expected me to explain myself. 

“I just haven’t been feeling well,” I lied, “Sorry,” It sounded lame, and Renly knew it. He snorted. 

“Bullshit, you’re fine,” He waved to me, looking me up and down, “You’re not even dizzy from the punch any more, otherwise you wouldn’t be practicing today.” Renly had me cornered. Literally and figuratively. Everyone else had left the locker room and he was standing in front of me, forcing me to lean against the lockers and bench. I had no excuse for ignoring him; there was no way out of this. I didn’t want to come out to him in some smelly locker room, but it looked like my choices were lessening by the second. I bit my lip, and I watched Renly’s eyes follow the movement. 

“Renly, look, we really need to talk,” I started. This was not how I imaged it, but then again in all of my visions it ended with his lips on mine. And by the glare Renly was giving me I don’t think that was what was going to happen. Renly arched an eyebrow at me as if telling me to continue. I opened my mouth and then shut it again, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. This was all wrong. 

“Talk about what?” Renly piped up quickly, having taken notice of my silence. I pressed my hand against the cold metal of the lockers, my heart thundering in my chest. He looked so annoyed, not caring and sweet like I normally saw him. We never got into fights. 

“It’s something really personal,” Renly’s face softened a little bit and he unfolded his arms. I was scrambling for words, waving my hands around. How do you even come out? What were the right words to say? “Look, I’m, uh,” I scrubbed my hands through my hair again, feeling the sweat form at the base of my neck. Why was this so hard? “I’m-“ 

The door slamming against the side of the wall spooked me and I jumped, scooting away from Renly and towards the door. Jaime stood there, holding an extra pair of goalie gloves in his hand. Renly moved to stand behind me and Jaime threw the gloves to him, I narrowly avoided getting hit in the face by stepping to the side and backward, effectively slamming into Renly’s chest. He caught the gloves smoothly and turned his head to look at me. I felt the blush spread across my cheeks as Renly shifted his weight and his hips brushed against mine. 

“Renly if you ever want to play goal correctly it’s time you stopped chit chatting and got on the field.” Jaime growled, snapping me out of my trance and motioning outside. Jaime turned and stomped out of the locker room leaving us in silence once more and I stood frozen, pressed flushed against Renly. He shifted once more and I gulped and went to move away. I jumped as Renly’s hand grabbed my hip, holding me in place. 

“Don’t.” He murmured in my ear, quiet enough that only I could hear, even if no one else was there to hear us. I wasn’t sure if he was telling me not to move or not to have bumped into him in the first place but my heart was racing to fast to make a real decision.

I’m not sure how long we stood there, it felt like ages and I was aware of everything. The way Renly’s hand gripped my hip, holding me against him gently and how every time he took a breath it pushed me forward slightly. His shoulder curved around mine slightly as he held my hip and his breath felt like fire. Every time he breathed out it pushed my hair from where it had fallen in front of my ear and send goose bumps trickling down my neck. I pushed against his hold eventually, it must have been less than a minute but I could haw swore we stood there for ages. I looked at him over my shoulder and he stared back. 

“I know what you were going to say,” He said, almost too quiet for me to hear and I almost thought I was imaging it. I looked away quickly, leaving him behind the door and jogging to the field, not looking back to see if he was following. I didn’t want to come out to Renly, but I might have by accident because I didn’t pull away from him. 

It had felt to right to do such a thing. 

\---

Thursday had arrived far too quickly and Renly and I didn’t mention the locker room, we just fell back into our normal routine. This was the day of the game that would decide our fate and I was too jittery to joke around with any of the other guys on the bus to the game. I chose instead to press my cheek against the cool glass of the bus and bounce my leg up and down. I tried to block out Theon, Gendry and Renly’s jokes from the back of the bus but it was hard, and it was starting to get on my nerves. How could they be so carefree at a time like this, we were already running late, there wouldn’t be enough time for us to warm up properly. I was all nerves as coach yelled at us to get ready on the bus because we wouldn’t have time when we got to the school. 

I scrambled to find the right socks and shin guards and tried to block out the dried sweat smell that came from every body’s shin guards. And after a few collusions with Robb in the alley of the bus as we both tried to tie our cleats at the same time the bus stopped and coach stood, motioning us to follow. I think we looked like the least intimidating team as we left the bus because Theon hooked his foot on the last step in front of me and slammed into Robb’s back. Renly tried not to giggle behind me but I shot him a look to tell him not to. We didn’t want anyone to be embarrassed going into a big game, it screws with how you play. 

Thirty minutes later after a very rough warm up session we were ready to go. Robb, Jorah and Jon made up our strikers, Gendry as our one midfielder; Stannis, me and Theon as the three defenders with Renly in goal. We had lost the coin toss, so we weren’t starting with the ball but we had gotten to pick which side of the field we wanted to take which I was thankful for. The sun would be right in anyone on the other side of the field’s eye while it was behind us so it wouldn’t bother me. 

I was playing center defense, which I almost never did. I was always on the left, but Stannis had taken my place on the left, while Theon was on the right. But coach had put me there because it was key that a center defender was able to have the other defender’s backs if they got beat by an offender and I was the fastest of the three of us. Hence why I had been moved to center defender. 

I bounced from foot to foot, feeling too nervous to stay still. I heard Renly laugh from behind me. 

“Calm down, Loras, it’s going to be great,” He winked at me and I quickly looked back to the top of the field where the ref was explaining something to Robb and the other center striker. Every time I looked at Renly all I could think about was the locker room. And I didn’t want to think about that right now. The ref blew the whistle and I popped my mouth guard into my mouth, taking a few steps forward. Robb made a brilliant interception to the ball when the other center striker failed to kick it quickly enough to his team mate. Robb was off down the field in a flash, keeping the ball close to his feet before passing it smoothly off to Jon. 

Stannis, Theon and I moved up closer to the fifty line mark, just in case there was a break away. But other than one time when one of their midfielders took the ball from Jon and took off towards us and I tackle blocked him before slamming the ball back down towards the net I wasn’t touching the ball much. Robb, Jon, Jorah and Gendry where doing a good job of keeping the ball on their side of the field and eventually about thirty minute into the game Gendry of all people tapped one of Jon’s bad aimed kicks right into the goal, scoring us one point. Coach subbed Rakharo in for Gendry who was starting to get pretty tired and the game continued. 

That was about when it started to go downhill. I ball flew by Stannis and I hadn’t expected it to which sent the striker for the other team and me racing down the side lines towards the ball. I got there before him, but it barely gave me enough time to get my feet around to the right side and take off. Before long the two strikers double teamed me, leaving me with no options. One of them stole the ball and was off before I could do anything in return. Luckily Theon was backing me up and got right on them. Unluckily someone had left the third striker wide open on the other side of the field. Cleanly they passed it over to him and he shot on goal. The shot curved in midair, much like how Robb’s do, and hit the net’s upper left corner. Leaving Renly standing looking confused. 

“It’s okay, you’ll get it next time,” I yelled to him, muffled around my mouth guard. I was trying to be positive to block out Jaime’s negative yelling from the side lines. Renly still looked a little upset, and being positive didn’t seem to be doing much good because in the last fifteen minutes of the half they got another two goals past Renly, who was starting to give up. Coach brought us all in, but Jaime grabbed the three defenders and Renly. Renly shuffled his feet, looking at the ground. 

“You sir, are standing there looking like a deer in headlights,” Jaime pointed an accusing finger at Renly, “Every time the ball comes past the thirty you freeze, wake up!” He cuffed Renly on the head, light enough to not hurt him but hard enough to tell Renly he meant business. Then, much to my surprise Jaime rounded on me, stabbing a finger into my chest. “And you, mister Tyrell, are doing a crap job of being a center defender. If the ball comes down the right side, Theon gets it, not you! Same for the left! Stop ball hogging!” Jaime glared down at me and I clenched my teeth together to stop from retorting back at him. “Now, go, go,” He shooed us back out onto the field. I clapped Renly on his shoulder and followed him to the goal. 

“This is hopeless,” Renly murmured once we got there. I shook my head. 

“No, you got this, just pretend you Jaime the goalie not Renly the striker,” I sighed, “He’s right, you’re being to tense, loose up, it will help you get to the ball quicker.” I managed to flash him a smile before I returned to my spot for the start of the second forty –five minute half. Jaime’s pep talk must have helped Renly some because the next shot on goal he caught and smoothly hit the ground. I whooped and helped him up, smiling widely. 

“There, see, you can do this,” I said firmly before Renly kicked the ball cleanly across the field, right to Jorah who took it quickly down towards the goal. He crossed it to Robb who in turn passed it over to Jon. They ping-ponged the ball around for a bit before Robb took a shot on the goal, which unfortunately hit the top cross bar of the goal and rebounded back to Jon. It took them a few tries but eventually Robb faked the goalie and the defenders to the right before kicking it smoothly into the left. We were now 2-3, with the opposing team in the lead and thirty minutes left. That was plenty of time for us to get one more goal, or for them to get another one. 

Jorah slammed one in from the side lines about fifteen minutes later and tied the game up. From there it was a stand off, neither one of the teams really breaking past the other’s defense and mostly just kicking it around to each other. Coach called a time out with seven minutes to go. We huddled around each other but coach waved for Renly to just stay in the net. 

“There is no way we want a tie,” He growled, “A penalty shot shoot out isn’t in our best interest,” He growled, motioning towards Renly. I hadn’t even considered that, but he was right. In the case of a tie against another team you had to do a penalty line shoot out. Which was basically the goalie verses a striker who kicked from the penalty line. No defenders, just a striker and a goalie. And in our situation with Renly in goal, that was exactly not what we wanted. 

“So get goals,” Robb breathed out, panting heavily with sweat sticking to his forehead. He didn’t say it as a question, it was a statement. We jogged back out to the field, Robb looking determined. At first I thought he was going to be so determined that he would get a goal within the minute of the time out, but then a defender tackle blocked him thirty yards from the goal and he stumbled, falling down. Because Robb wasn’t recovering back quick enough and with only one midfielder between the defender and the offensive line I took off forward. Leaving my defensive position to play a kind of back midfielder position. Coach was yelling at me to get back but I was sure this was going to work. Gendry, who was now back in as our midfielder, tried to tackle block the defender but it didn’t work and the defender kicked it up forward towards his striker. 

As quick as I could I darted forward, now past the fifty yard mark and intercepted the pass. Jon yelled that he was open, waving his arms. Just as I was getting ready to pass it off to him the striker that I had intercepted the pass from was on me, pushing to get the ball. Grunting I tried to dodge him, but he came from the side. I saw his elbow come towards my face just as he stole the ball. He hooked me on my nose, which was a rude move because it was obviously still bruised and broken from before. 

Ref called a foul and I cheered even if my nose was throbbing. This was our number one chance. Because it was a major foul I was allowed to slam the ball wherever I wanted and if it went in the goal it counted. Robb was screaming something and so was Jon and coach but my world slowed down. Almost sluggishly I looked at the clock, only two minutes left to go. I backed up slowly, surveying. I was about thirty yards from the goal, there was no way I could kick it in from here. But Jorah had inched closer to the goal and was waving his arms to let me know he was there. 

In the moment that I wound up for the kick nothing mattered. Not the locker room, or prom, or how I was in love with Renly. All that mattered was that ball. And I think that was why I liked soccer so much. It was an escape. 

I slammed the ball, watching it arch up and then down right in front of Jorah. Jorah jumped and head butted it right into the goal and the whistle blew. I think I actually screamed, but I couldn’t tell because Gendry was jumping on my back and hugging me yelling something in my ear. Renly appeared out of nowhere in the mist of all of us jumping and yelling and he grabbed both side of my face. His finger cupped my ears and his thumbs brush against my cheekbones, holding me firmly. For a second I thought he was going to kiss me. And he might have if Robb hadn’t body slammed me to the ground, whooping and messing my hair up. 

We played the last minute of the game with halfhearted passes and wide smiles. The other team had basically given up and when the buzzer went off we all crowded around coach who was smiling even if he never did. 

“We’re going to championships,” Jon said almost breathlessly. 

“We. Are. Going. To. Championships.” Robb mirrored from across the circle and I whooped happily. This was all I ever wanted. Championships, a full ride soccer scholarship to college, A+ grades.

There was only one problem. And its name was Renly Baratheon. 

\---

On the way back from the game I sat alone again and most of the team fell asleep shortly after the bus got back onto the high way. Renly was sprawled out in the seat across from me, his legs up on the bus seat and back against the window, sound asleep. I watched him carefully, as if staring at him would reveal all his secrets to me. Renly had kissed Margaery, but then turned around and held my hip in the locker room, followed by the face grabbing on the soccer field. I wasn’t sure if he wanted Margaery and I was just picking up the signals wrong. I watched his face closely, how his cheeks were full and his skin was perfectly clean. Even in his sweaty soccer gear I still found him attractive, his jersey was hanging a little bit to the right and I could see his collarbone poking out. In sleep and soccer gear he was perfect. 

But I still couldn’t figure out what he wanted. Maybe he wanted both Margaery and me. Maybe the ‘don’t’ he had threatened me with was simply him telling me he didn’t want me to play the silent game with him and while I had felt aroused by the grip on my hip it might have his way to threaten me. Or maybe he hadn’t want me to come out to him and that’s what the ‘don’t’ meant. God, what if he was embarrassed to have a gay best friend? Better yet, a gay best friend with an obvious crush. 

“Hey, stop staring at him; he’s going to think you’re checking him out.” Robb poked his head up from the seat behind me, resting his arms on the back of the seat. Right, no checking Renly out. 

_Thou shalt not check out thou’s best friend._

“Sorry,” I muttered, looking up at Robb, “He’s asleep anyways, the only one who will be creped out by me staring at him will be you,” I said. Robb never slept on the bus, I have no idea why. But everyone else was out. Except for Jaime who I could see had his earbuds in and was staring out the window in the back of the bus. 

“So, are you and Sansa dating?” Robb piped up, swinging out of his seat and into mine. I needed to have a serious talk with Sansa about everything that was happening, but it didn’t looking like that was going to happen any time soon. Tomorrow morning Renly and I were taking off for the peak, and there was no way I was going to see her at nine at night when we got back to school. 

“Uh, no, we’re just friends,” I said in response to Robb. He quirked an eyebrow. 

“Friends who kiss?” I had forgotten he had seen that happen. I pushed a piece of hair out of my eyes. 

“No, well yes we did kiss that one time but we are not dating,” I finished. Robb looked unconvinced but fell silent staring ahead. I gulped; I did not want to have this talk with Robb. He looked back to me eventually. “Just trust me, we’re just friends.” Robb nodded before moving back into his own seat, leaving me to stare out the window again as the dark woods rushed by. 

I had decided on the ride home that it was time to come out to Renly. We needed to stop playing this game. It was time to come out to everyone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a boring chapter, but things needed to happen!


	7. Chapter 7

I met Renly at six in the morning the next day. He was running late, or I was early. I checked my phone once more as I leaned against his car, my face getting warmed by the rising sun. Groaning as I could see that Renly was almost ten minutes late I stared down towards the dorms, shielding my eyes from the sun. 

“Here, you’ll need these,” I spooked as a voice sounded from behind me. Hands slipped in front of my face to place sunglasses on my nose. Because I hadn’t known who was behind me the sunglasses fell from my face and clattered to the ground as I whipped around to look at them. Renly grinned ear from ear at me, looking at me over the top of his aviator sunglasses. I clamped a hand over my heart. 

“You scared me, you have got to stop sneaking up on me like that,” I said as I reached down to pick up the sunglasses. They were red and I turned them over in my hand. Renly tossed me the keys which I caught with my spare hand. 

“They reminded me of you, so I got them for you,” Renly grinned, tossing my backpack which was on the ground next to the tire and his own into the car. “And I figured because you would be driving right into the rising sun they would be useful for you,” He added, closing the trunk and wrapping around to the passenger seat. I slid into the driver’s seat, moving the seat back again like I always had to when I drove Renly’s car and waited for Renly to get all sorted before pulling out of the school. 

I’m not going to lie, I was nervous for this weekend with Renly. With all the mixed signals I had been receiving I wasn’t sure how I should go about being with Renly. So far, we had managed to just pretend the locker room incident never happened. Or at least, he hadn’t brought it up, so I assumed we were just ignoring it. Renly made me stop at a coffee shop and ran inside to grab us both a coffee, I liked mine with just cream while Renly piled sugar and cream into his. When he got back with them he tricked me into taking a sip of his which I almost spit out because of how sweet it was. 

“God, do you even have taste buds?” I muttered, shaking my head at how the sugar that stuck to my throat. Renly laughed at me and took his coffee back, drinking it happily. 

“Better taste buds then you, buddy. You’re the weirdo who doesn’t like peanut butter,” He remarked, plugging his phone into the car and scrolling for a song to play. 

“It’s gross, trust me, if you had a finer sense of taste you would understand,” I said, slipping the red sunglasses back onto my face and getting back onto the high way and into the blinding sun. “You are the one who likes that crap box wine,” I muttered. It was true. When Renly stayed with us for the weekend a few months back we had broken into my parent’s wine with Margaery at our heels. He had been all over the box wine, while I had sneered at it and gone for something nicer. 

"Hey, you’re not giving it enough credit,” Renly stated, picking a song to play. 

“It doesn’t deserve credit!” My voice was lost as Renly turned the song up. Jokingly he cupped an ear with his hand as if he couldn’t hear me before beginning to sing the song, making dance moves at me as he did so. I rolled my eyes and kept my gaze on the road, trying to ignore how the bass in Renly’s car shook the whole thing. 

Two hours and a stop at the grocery store to pick up food for our weekend later we found ourselves at the condo. Renly whipped the key out of his pocket while I balanced the bags we had on my arms, having refused to take two trips from the car and back. He struggled with the lock for a second; it often got stuck, before pushing the door open and stumbling in. The condo was set up pretty basically, small bathroom off of an open concept kitchen and living room with a fire place. A spiral staircase sat in the corner which led up to the one bedroom. Luckily the couch had a pull out bed so I wouldn’t have to deal with sleeping next to Renly. 

Renly took a few bags from my hand, setting them down on the kitchen counter. I had been here once or twice, but that had been with all three of the Baratheon boys, so the place seemed a lot calmer without Robert’s constant howling. Renly went about putting the food that needed to be kept cold away while I admired the condo. The thing I had decided that I liked the most about it was that even if it was small, it was adorned with expensive items, making it feel much bigger. It was full of bamboo flooring and granite countertops and beautiful paintings. It struck me how I had always failed to notice these things the time I was here before. I realized with a start that Renly and I had never been here by ourselves. I turned to look at him once he finished the fridge. 

“How exactly did you get your parents to agree to this?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow. Renly ran a hand through his hair, like he always did when he was sheepish about something. He made the same motion when he told me that he was taking Margaery to prom. That felt like such a long time ago, even if had only been about two weeks. So much had happened. 

“Well, uh, you see they didn’t,” Renly shrugged, moving around the island in the kitchen to the couch, falling on it. I crossed my arms. 

“What do you mean they didn’t?”

“I told them I was staying at the school for the weekend and just stole the key out of Stannis’ bag,” Renly admitted, his head falling onto on the pillows as he looked up at the ceiling. I moved closer so I could look down at him. 

“I can now see why they give Stannis the key and not you,” I stated, picking the dirt out from underneath my finger nails. Renly sat up suddenly, swinging his legs off the couch so they were on either side of me. He grinned that lopsided grin up at me. 

“Are you saying I’m irresponsible?” Renly joked. I looked down at him, eyeing how well he looked at eye level with my hips. He was at the perfect level to just lean forward and do what I sometimes dreamed of him doing. I snapped myself out of the fantasy, feeling the heat pool in my stomach. I began to take a step back before it really settled into my brain. 

Renly and I where all alone, for the whole weekend. No one that we knew was around; anything could happen if we were willing to keep it between the two of us. No Jaime Lannister to storm into the locker room and no Robb Stark to tackle me into the ground when I was savoring Renly’s touch. And I knew Renly, if he wasn’t into something, he would back out. Instead of backing away like I normal did when Renly and I got this close I held my ground, savoring the image I had of him. No one would ever know. It was perfect for me. 

“You’re more than irresponsible,” I chuckled, trying to stop myself from shaking as Renly held his ground too. I swear in that grin I could see that he knew we were playing at something. “You’re downright childish,” I muttered. Renly shrugged before slowing standing up. With less than an inch between us I imaged just leaning up and kissing him. No one would ever have to know, it could be out dirty little secret. 

After a second or two I backed down and moved away, scolding myself. Renly was straight. And no matter how many fantasies I had about him it wasn’t going to change that. My own brain was tricking itself into believing that Renly was gay when obviously he was anything but that. But still, no one was around. If Renly was going to play this game he had been playing for the last week in the next three days, I wasn’t going to back down. 

“Well, c’mon, this child wants to go for a hike,” He said, stepping around me. I fished out my good sneakers from my bag and Renly found a spare backpack in the closet upstairs that we stuffed a few water bottles and sweatshirts into before setting out to hike the mountain. The condo was on the side of it, about a fifth of the way up it, and Renly knew the trails like the back of his hand. He showed me one that gave us a beautiful view of the area and he pointed out roughly where the school was and pointed to where my hometown should be. The downside of the nice view was we had to walk through some tall grass.

We made our way back down the peak and to a nearby dive bar for lunch. I ate the first hamburger I had in almost four mouths, dripping with grease and totally wonderful in a disgusting way. Renly stole the fries off my plate once he had finished his; because there was no way I was going to be able to eat those too. We laughed about it on the walk back home. 

“How do you even eat so much?” I laughed, looking over at him. He shrugged, but I could see his smile from where I was. 

“I need the carbs so I can grow some big strong muscles,” Renly joked, flexing his bicep. 

“Yeah, right, just wait till all those carbs decide that you would look ridiculous with big strong muscles and turn into fat instead,” I said, reaching out to pinch the little bit of fat that hung on his sides. Renly wasn’t that dedicated to working out, so while he was not extremely defined in muscles, they were still there. Just covered with a small layer of fat. He swatted me off of him. 

“Whoa, that really hurts,” He drawled sarcastically as we reached the condo. I decided that I would have my go at the sometimes sticky lock on the door and Renly let me. Renly stood behind me as I struggled and watched. Once I had the door open Renly shut it behind us. “Hate to break this to you, but I can see a tick on the back of your thigh,” Renly said. I grimaced.

“I hate those things can you get it off?” I asked. Renly nodded before motioning for me to come into the bathroom. He made me face the mirror as he knelt down and lifted the bottom of my shorts up a bit to reach at the tick. I passed my mind for a second at how Renly must have been looking at my legs to notice a tick on them. I could see the blush spread into my cheeks because I was being forced to stare at myself as Renly pulled a tick off my leg. Renly was muttering as he pulled at it and I winced at bit, clenching my teeth. It wasn’t the pain of him pulling it off it was more of the general thought of a tick on my leg that made me nervous. Renly swore and placed the tick on a tissue he had placed nearby. 

“Sorry, buddy, but the head got stuck,” He stood, reaching around me to grab at the cabinet by the sink. Renly pulled out a pair of tweezers and we made eye contact in the mirror. He watched me, half pressed up against my back and I saw that look in his eye that he always gave to Margaery. 

Lust. 

I gulped and tore my eyes from his and he went back to work at pulling the head of tick from the back of my thigh. There was no way Renly had been giving me that look, he always gave that to Margaery, but I knew that it was a truth. I wasn’t sure what to think about it.

“There, got it!” Renly proclaimed, holding up the small black head of the tick as proof. 

“Alright great now can we flush it away to a watery grave.” I muttered. Renly laughed.

“It’s already dead, I kind of decapitated it, but a watery gave sounds nice,” He went about sending the tick to a watery grave and I searched for a band aid, feeling the bite mark on my thigh. Renly skimmed his fingers over it which shocked me. “It’s not too bad,” He said, his hand touching the bite before skimming up the side of my legs. Renly flashed me a grin before leaving the room. Once had had shut the door behind him I collapsed against the sink. Everything that he was doing was messing with my head, I had no idea what he wanted, and I wasn’t about to go ask him. After I had put the band aid over the bite and checked to make sure my face wasn’t too flustered looking I returned to the main room. 

We spent the next few hours helping each other with different pieces of homework; Renly was better at Science and History, while I was better at English and Math. So whenever one of us struggled with something normally the other could help. Renly explained most of the Roman history to me so I would have a chance of not failing my ancient civilizations final and I showed him how to graph logarithmic. We had always worked well together. 

Afterward Renly made a box of the premade mac and cheese and we both ate that for dinner on the coach, while Renly brought up a game of soccer on the TV. I didn’t really know the teams that were playing at well but we still got excited over it. Renly flung his fork to the side when the team we wanted to win scored a goal and got a few pieces of macaroni on my chest. I had laughed and thrown them back at him. Eventually I found an old horror movie in the upstairs closet and we sat down to watch that. 

I don’t remember much of the movie because about a half an hour into it I had jumped in surprise from the image playing on screen and grabbed Renly’s forearm. He chuckled. 

“What scared of a little blood?” He mocked, I glared at him. 

“Uh, excuse me, you’re the one who doesn’t like blood,” I muttered, looking back to the screen and pulling my arm back, embarrassed about it. Renly’s hand suddenly grabbed mine, interlocking our fingers. 

“Don’t.” Renly murmured, looking at my eyes. I choked on my own breath. It was like the locker room all over again. With the touching and the ‘don’t’. I narrowed my eyes at him, our eyes caught in a stare. I looked down at our hands for a moment before back to him and pulling my hand away. 

“Don’t what?” I said, almost too quietly. I knew what he meant; he wanted to hold my hand. Renly Baratheon wanted to hold my hand. He wanted to touch my hip. He wanted to kiss me. Renly watched me, silent and serious, and I blinked lazily back him. My heart was thundering in my chest but I tried to play it off like I did this all the time. Renly opened his mouth before snapping it shut, looking like a gaping fish. I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat as he swallowed. I realized in that moment that he was as nervous as I was. 

“Just. Don’t.” Renly whispered, reaching over to take my hand back, only to use it to pull me closer to him. I tried to ignore the heat searing through my veins as he pulled me up to his side and placed a gentle arm around my shoulders, his fingers skimming my side. My hand dropped to his thigh and I took a shuttering breath, looking everywhere but Renly. “Don’t ask questions,” Renly whispered to me, placing his face in my hair and breathing deeply. “Just go with it,” He added, almost to quiet. 

Anger stirred a bit in my stomach and I tried to force it away but it only bubbled more. I couldn’t just ignore something like this. Renly shouldn’t be able to play this game with me. Taking my sister to prom and then flirting so openly with me a week later. I clenched my jaw, suddenly the lovely feeling of Renly’s arm around me disappearing. I shouldered his arm off of me and scooted away on the coach, crossing my arms to look at him. 

“I can’t just not ask questions!” I snapped. Renly looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed in the middle of his forehead as if he could not believe I was talking. “There is no way I could just go with it. I have no idea what is going on in that brain of yours!” I said angrily, “I don’t know who, or what, you want! Or what game you have been playing with me for the last few weeks!” I growled. Renly huffed, looking at his feet. He was so close and I could tell he knew everything. Everything I had never wanted to tell him, everything I had been too scared to tell him. He had figured everything out on his own.

“I’m not playing a game,” Renly said, looking back to me, looking like he was a lot older then he was. I ran my hands through my hair, pushing it away from my face. 

“Yes you are,”

“No, Loras,” He moved closer to me and I stood my ground, “I’m not. This is serious, I know about you, hell I’ve known since I met you! Since Margaery told me!” His hand fell onto my knee, rubbing small circles into the skin.

“I don’t, Margaery doesn’t know-“

“Loras,” Renly cut me off suddenly, “Everyone knows,” God he was just like Sansa. I pushed his hand off my knee, standing up and looking down at him. Renly watched my movements, looking worried all of the sudden. 

“No, everyone doesn’t know,” I snapped, moving away from the coach to the fridge and grabbing a water bottle. I could hear the scuffle of Renly’s socks as he followed me. 

“Yes they do!” He exclaimed from behind me. I crunched the water bottle between my fingers. I had hid it so well. I wore normal clothing, I was a star athlete. I didn’t abide to any of the stereotypes. I was sure I had disguised myself perfectly. Yet Renly was still going on behind me about how he has always known, how everyone has always known. I gripped the edge of the counter beside me. How could something so personal be so public? Without me even knowing. Renly slowed to a stop in his rant behind me. He fell silent as I turned to look at him, his face falling into a caring form. 

“You can’t know,” I said suddenly. “You were never supposed to find out any of this!” I exclaimed angrily. Renly stuffed his hands into his pockets and we fell back into silence. We stood there for a few moments before he scooped his keys off of the counter. 

“C’mon.” He started for the door and I stared after him, completely lost.

“Wher-“ 

“Just come on!” Renly snapped, shouldering open the front door once he had shoes on. I struggled to lace up my sneakers as he led us off down a path. 

“Renly it’s like midnight someone one is going to kill us,” I muttered, jogging to keep up with him. The night air was colder than I expected and I rubbed at my bare arms. Renly didn’t answer me, just kept up his brisk pace. Through the trees I could see the flashes of reflected light against the lake. “You’re taking me to the lake, this is no time for a midnight swim, Renly!” I snapped at him as the trees cleared away. He jumped up onto the dock that had Baratheon written in big letters across the bottom. Each one of the condos got their own dock to keep a boat at down in this bay. He reached the end, untying the whips to the jet ski that bobbed up and down on the water. “You’re crazy. Seriously I’m not up for a cold jet ski ride right now!” Renly still wasn’t answering me as he jumped onto the jet ski and patted the seat behind him. 

I glanced around, it was pitch dark expect for the moonlight illuminating the lake. The woods looked darker than I thought they should be and reluctantly I got on behind Renly, untying a rope for him. He pushed us off; we didn’t even have lifejackets I realized with a start, and started off towards the middle of the lake. Suddenly he gunned the gas and I grabbed onto the back of his shirt to keep myself form falling. He raced us off through the dead still water and just when I was starting to get comfortable he twisted the handlebars quickly to the right. I realized what he was doing when it was too late and he tipped the jet skin cleanly right into the lake. 

It was cold and I swore once I broke the surface, treading water. Renly appeared about a foot away from me and the jet skin floated mindlessly upside down beside us. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” I yelled, “You tipped it over on purpose!”

“Yeah, I did, because you needed to wake the hell up!” He snapped, glaring at me. I scoffed, shaking water away from my face. “Cold water seemed like a good bet to get the job done!”

“I need to wake you!? You’re the one that just tipped the jet ski over on purpose at midnight when we didn’t have life jackets on!” I was screaming at him now, completely annoyed and feeling like I could punch him and I wouldn’t feel bad about at all. 

“You’re gay!” Renly yelled back at me, completely ignoring my works. I was shocked for a moment to hear his say it, the words turning my blood colder than the lake water every would. “You, Loras Tyrell, are gay!” He screamed, his green eyes glaring back at me as I stared silently. “And guess what?” I looked at the water, unable to look at him. 

“What?” 

“I am too,” Renly’s voice fell quieter and I felt like drowning. 

“Then why did you kiss Margaery,” I forced out, my voice cracking. Renly sighed. 

“Because I thought that it could make me something I’m not. Once I found out you were taking Sansa to prom I thought that I was wrong about you,” Renly said, moving toward he jet ski as I didn’t answer him. He flipped it over quickly, with little difficulty. I got the feeling at he had flipped a lot of jet skis over. “And kissing Margaery didn’t do anything to change how I felt,” He added as he slung himself up onto it. I forced myself to do the same and Renly turned around completely in his seat to look at me. 

We stared at each other for a few moments and I took the time to let the information settle in. Renly was gay, just as gay as I was. And I had never even noticed any of this until a week ago. 

“I started moving in on you because I had saw how angry you had gotten prom night. There was no way you were mad just because we had stayed out to late; you saw Margaery and I,” Renly explained, “That’s why you were crying, wasn’t it?” There was no use in answering the question because I knew Renly knew the answer. “And I figured if I showed you that I was interested you would come out to me, but it didn’t work.” Renly reached out hold my hips, rubbing at my hip bones as electricity raced through me. I moved closer to him, fearless now that I knew there was no hiding it from him. Carefully I put my hand on his cheeks, rubbing over the flawless skin and cheek bones. 

_Thou shalt not kiss thou’s gay best friend._

But I did anyways. 

As smoothly as I could muster I pulled his lips to meet mine, making sure our noses didn’t bump. The stubble of facial hair that Renly always had rubbed against my chin and I fell into him. The kiss was short before he pulled away from me, breathing hard. 

“Don’t.” I managed to whisper, kissing the corners of his mouth, desperate to feel his skin under my lips. “Don’t stop.” I added, my breath catching in my throat. Renly leaned back into me, his lips soft and full and all I’ve ever wanted. 

“I won’t,” He murmured between kisses. 

And so he didn’t.


	8. Chapter 8

Renly’s facial hair rubbed my chin raw, which I tried to ignore as he pulled me closer to him. His hands slipping all over my back and through my soaking wet hair from our dip in the lake. We had managed to dock the Jet Ski without our hands all over each other before Renly went right back to kissing me on the dock. I held his shoulders, still overwhelmed and gasped as his teeth tugged at my lower lip. He was better at this then I had expected, it made me feel a little oozy to think he had been using the same moves on my own sister. 

I had never kissed a guy, so I felt rather unexperienced and awkward. I pushed at his shoulders pulling away from him but Renly tried to follow me. I placed a hand on his lips to stop him. 

“We’re in the middle of a dock in a very populated area, slow down,” I whispered to him, his hands swinging low on my hips. Renly kissed my fingers and I pulled them away sharply. He grinned lopsidedly and my breath caught in my throat. 

“I don’t care,” He muttered, leaning forward again to kiss at my jaw line, sucking the skin in between his teeth. I collapsed back against his chest at the feeling, looping my arms around his neck and threading my fingers into his hair. It was soft and I could smell his shampoo as he pressed closer to my neck. “I wouldn’t care if the whole fucking soccer team saw us right now,” He whispered into my skin and I could practically hear the desire in his throat. My stomach pooled with heat at his words. We were moving too fast for what I was comfortable for. 

As if on cue his hands slipped down onto my butt. I gasped and swatted him away, taking steps away and wiping at my mouth. 

“Renly, seriously, slow down,” I held up a hand to stop him and he seemed to get the idea through his thick skull eventually. I pushed my hair around to make it look nicer, admiring the moonlight on the lake. Renly watched me, concern flittering through his expression. 

“Is, um, something wrong?” He asked, painfully awkward. Renly was horrible with emotional people. I moved to sit down on the end of the dock, dangling my feet off the edge. My sneakers still dripped from the water, along with the rest of my clothing. 

“No, no, nothing wrong believe me,” I said as Renly took a seat beside me, staring at the deadly calm water beneath us and not at me. “It’s just a lot to take in,” I sighed. In the span of one day everything was different. Renly wasn’t my best friend any more, he was something different. But maybe deep down I still wanted him to be my best friend. Then again, I had always heard that the best relationships are based off of friendship. That stirred something in the pit of my stomach. Maybe Renly and I where perfect for each other because we were best friends first. 

“Yeah, that’s okay, sorry,” Renly murmured, looking over at me.

I met his gaze and slowly I smiled at him. Renly returned it, scooting closer to me and wrapping and arm around my shoulders. He had done that countless times before, but it felt so different now. I sighed and wrapped an arm around his side and we sat in silence for a moment before I couldn’t help but dig my fingers into his side. Renly had always been more ticklish there. He squawked and batted me off, scrambling to his feet and prancing away from me, rubbing at his side. I laughed a soft quiet laugh. 

“You ruined the moment!” He accused me. 

“We were having a moment?” I questioned. Renly shrugged. “It’s okay I think we can fix it,” I took the liberty I now had to place a kiss on his lips, holding his hips in my hands. I pulled back before Renly could try and deepen it. I didn’t want to be so out in the open doing that on some dock. I brushed past him and started back up the path, aware of Renly’s eyes on my back. When we got back Renly was back upon me and I accepted him a bit more happily now that we were away from possible prying eyes. Kissing Renly was good, kissing Renly wasn’t moving too fast. 

He pushed the door closed behind him, pulling me back to his body. As he placed kisses to my lips I paced backwards, leading him along. Renly grinned at me as I fell onto the couch and he followed like he had been, sitting down next to me. At first he kissed me desperately, full of sharp jarring movements and quiet moans but eventually I managed to gain control, slowing him down. I held his cheek in my hand and kissed him softly and fully, each kiss taking longer than the one before it. Eventually I had Renly completely captivated by the kiss and my own heart thundered in my chest. 

I was glad I had compression shorts on. 

I swore then room had heated up and I was completely in love with how our lips worked together. His hand slipped to the small of my back, rubbing gentle circles with each kiss. I tugged him closer to me. I could feel Renly’s grin against my mouth and he pulled me onto his lap. The gasp fell from my mouth before I could stop it at the feeling on being seated on him. Renly was pushing at the kiss again, trying to turn it back into the sharp jarring kiss that we had before. 

I turned my face away from him, gasping for air, and slid off his lap to stand up. Renly watched me, looking lonely in his seat on the coach now. His hair sticking all up in different directions and lips red from the kisses. I swallowed, willing the ache in my stomach to go away. There was no need to go far with Renly tonight; kissing was all I was going to allow. But by the way Renly was looking at me. All hungry and lust like, I knew he wanted more. 

My stomach flipped and the ache in my stomach screamed as I forced myself to turn away from him and start shuffling through my backpack. I could practically sense his disappointment even if I couldn’t see him. I stood back up with my sweatpants and a clean tee-shirt in my hands before I managed to turn and look at him. 

“I’m going to take a shower, you should change so you don’t get a cold,” I told him, not waiting for a response before I hurried to the bathroom, turning the shower to the hottest it could go. Once safe inside the bathroom I collapsed against the sink, staring at myself in the mirror like I had not five hours earlier when Renly had pulled the tick off of me. 

Funny how in the span of five hours your life can turn completely upside down. I stripped down and stepped into the water, thankful for piping hot water because it turned my attention away from my thoughts for a few moments. This was everything I had ever wanted, laid out on a table in front of me. Renly happy and willing to be with me. But as I contemplated Renly and I being together complications came up all over the place. 

Mainly, Margaery. I know she liked him at least a little bit, girls are like that. She must have thought he asked her to prom because he liked her, not because he was trying to distract himself from me. I let the water run over my hair and drip down the bridge of my nose. I felt so guilty about stealing Renly out from underneath Margaery’s nose. It just didn’t fit with my morals. 

Eventually after what must have been at least a half an hour I shut the water off, not wanting to use all of the hot water if Renly wanted to shower to. I cursed myself for realizing that I had forgotten to pick up boxers for myself in my desperate scramble to get to the bathroom and away from Renly’s eyes. I sighed, pulling my sweatpants on and slipping back out into the main room. 

Renly was still on the couch where I left him, but he had changed into track pants and a tee shirt and was sprawled out, the TV droning on. His gaze turned lazily to me and I hurried to my backpack. 

“Sorry, I just forgot boxers,” I mumbled, crouching down and digging around in my bag. Renly sat up slowly and for the first time in my life I felt uncomfortable with someone staring into my bare back. It bothered me a bit, Renly had seen me without clothes on plenty of times in the locker room. Just never a half an hour after I had pointedly rejected his advances for more sexual acts. 

“It’s okay, you don’t need them.” Renly said and suddenly he was a lot closer behind me then I had previously thought when I had crouched down. He eyed me from a few feet away and I stared back, holding the plaid boxers close to my chest. 

“Trust me, I want them,” I said and Renly looked hurt for a moment before he shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets. I looked to the clock; it was almost two in the morning. “You can have gone to bed without me,” I said as I disappeared back into the bathroom for a moment to slip the boxers on underneath my sweatpants and pull my tee-shirt over my head as I returned. Renly shut off the TV, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I thought you might want to just lie around, together, so I waited,” Renly looked completely awkward, he was starting to understand that I had no intentions to go any farther then we had tonight. I forced a tight smile onto my face. 

“Thanks,” I forced out, pitifully strained. This was what I was scared about if I was to ever be with Renly. We would be completely out of our element with each other. What if he never made those stupid jokes he did ever again? Renly stepped closer to me, taking my hand in his. It was gentle, and much more on the level I wanted us to be on. 

“I’ll take the couch, you go upstairs,” Renly said softly, pulling his hand back away from me and flopping back down onto the couch. I didn’t argue, just took my leave up the stairs, feeling completely empty. As much as I wanted Renly, maybe we were just never meant to be. I contemplated that fact as I lay in the bed upstairs, the feather blanket far too hot for the summer. I kicked it off in my frustration, I couldn’t sleep and Renly plagued on thoughts. Every time I closed my eyes I could feel his lips on mine, or that momentary squeeze of my butt he had done before. It was too hot. Too confusing. 

Completely miserable about an hour after I had tried to sleep I sat up and swung out of the bed. I made my way down the stairs and the creaking of the stairs must have alerted Renly because I could see his dark form roll over in the darkness on the couch. I watched him groggily sit up. Clearly he had not been as plagued by thoughts as I was. I had always thought things through too much. I moved towards him as he yawned. 

“Loras you okay?” He asked, his voice seeming far too loud in the darkness. I sat down beside him, lying back on the pillows he had had his head on before. They smelled like him. Renly watched me, carefully reaching out to touch my back. After a few moments of Renly rubbing at the junction between my neck and back I pulled him to me. As much as my thoughts plagued me, they seemed to leave when Renly was near me. I flashed back to what I had told myself yesterday morning when we had first arrived that morning. 

Renly and I where all alone. No one would ever know, not Margaery or Sansa or Robb or anyone as long as we kept it between us. It could be out dirty little secret. 

I turned to him, pulling him to his feet as I stood up. Renly furrowed his eyebrows at me, confused and looking a little worried. 

“Come lay with me,” I whispered to him, dropping his hand to start up the stairs, hoping he would follow me. Once I had collapsed back onto the bed I heard the steps creaking as Renly walked up them. Only a few moments later the mattress dipped beside me and Renly’s breath ghosted across my neck. I turned over slowly, lifting my head so Renly could slip his arm underneath. He smiled gently at me in the dark, placing a kiss on my forehead. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked against my skin. I stayed silent, rubbing gently as Renly’s shoulder, admiring the muscle underneath it. 

“You,” I whispered back to him, almost so quiet that it got lost in the blackness. Renly nuzzled closer to me, breathing in my air. I pressed my forehead against his. 

“About my dashing good looks I presume,” Renly said, the hint of sarcasm causing me to chuckle a little bit. That was the first joke I had heard him say since we had argued and then kissed. And it felt nice to just smile about what he said. 

“No, not yet, sorry,” I responded, my eyes falling closed. 

“Darn. What about then?” He was so close we barely had to say any words for the other to hear us.

“All the problems this will cause,” My voice caught in my throat and I felt Renly tense up beside me. For a moment I thought he was going to pull away from me so I grabbed onto the front of his tee-shirt, bunching up the fabric. 

“I know. I’ve been thinking about that too,” He said softly. 

“You led my sister on,” 

“I know,” 

We fell back into silence, breathing each other’s air in and out. Slowly I sealed the inch between us to kiss his lips. Renly returned it, just as gently, but it could have been just because he was tired. 

“And as an older brother I find that rude,” I smiled a little bit, “But we might be able to work around it,” I added after a moment of silence. Renly heaved a huge sigh, kissing me again. 

“For a second there I thought you were going to tell me to leave,” He said, chuckling a little bit, clearly relived over my words. I didn’t smile, opening my eyes to find Renly’s green ones staring back. 

“For a second I thought I was going to,” 

\---

I awoke in the morning to Renly’s breath stirring the hair on my forehead. I jumped away from him, rubbing at my eyes as the events of late last night began rolling back to me. Renly didn’t wake from my movements. He had always been a heavy sleeper. Slowly I swung my legs out of the bed, my bare feet landing soundlessly on the wood floor, and trudged downstairs. Fifteen minutes later my feet pounded against the tar of the road. 

Running always cleared my mind, one thing I could really do with right now. I had woken up at around nine, leaving me with only about six hours of sleep last night. But as sleepy as I was, I needed to get away from the condo and Renly. He always fogged my mind up. While Renly fogged my mind, running cleared it. In the middle of town there wasn’t much going on, I spotted a few juniors from my school milling around at a nearby breakfast place. And the locals where already up and moving, but other than that the town seemed pretty quiet. 

I think the reason why I was making such rash decisions with Renly was because I knew I was in love with him. He was everything I had ever dreamed of, a soccer player, muscular, stunning smile. But everywhere I looked with him and I together there where complications. Margaery, the soccer team, my own family. Mainly that I was going to collage in a few months, Renly would stay back. Long distance relationships never work. But that was thinking too far ahead, who’s to say we could even last a month in a relationship. 

I wasn’t sure I could deal with the look on Margaery’s face when I told her that Renly and I were going out. It would break her heart. And as her own brother, I don’t think I could do that. 

I jogged down the road back to the condo, sweat beginning to form in the nape of my neck. I hadn’t been gone for long, but I had took the run at a fast pace. The hill back to the condo made my calves ache, which I knew was going to happen because hills where always harder for me. I was much better at running tracks or flat ground. Hence why I played soccer and did sprinting. 

In a way, that related back to my own life. I could trudge on endlessly on a flat ground, with no bumps or rolls. But the seconds I was forced up a hill I would slow down, breath heavier, work harder. Renly was more like a mountain then a hill for me. And just as I thought I was getting to the top of it I would realize that it was only a flattening of the ground before another steep climb. 

This mountain climb that was Renly and I’s relationship was far from over. 

When I returned to the condo, wiping away sweat and willing the ache in my calves to leave Renly still had not woken up, but now that it ten o’clock I didn’t bother being quiet to try and not wake up Renly. I switched the TV on to the news, which always comforted me. And fought with the coffee maker for a little bit before it finally sputtered and spat some coffee out. There wasn’t any cream in the fridge so I had to use milk, which was rather unsatisfying. 

I retired to the couch for a little bit, mindlessly watching the news and nursing my coffee mug. I entertained the idea of trying to make pancakes, which Renly had brought the stuff for just so we could make some but then decided it was a bad idea. Cooking was no something I was good at. Renly on the other hand was slightly skilled at cooking, which I guess was due to how much food he ate.

Finally I spotted Renly’s sock clad feet begin down the stairs. He yawned when he hit the bottom, moving towards the kitchen to fumble for the coffee. He resembled more of a bear just out of hibernation when he woke up than the man I was in love with. Once he had whined about the lack of cream much like how I had and lumped sugar into the coffee he collapsed onto the couch next to me.

“Good morning,” I said, my voice sounding weaker then I had intended it too. In the daylight kissing Renly seemed like such a farfetched thing. And it make my stomach flip with I leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek, savoring the feeling of skin underneath my lips. For a split second as I kissed his cheek I had a moment of terror. What if everything had been a dream? Renly put my fear to rest as he turned to catch my lips, soft and groggy. He tasted like coffee and sugar. Which I guess I must have also tasted like. 

“’Morning,” Renly slurred as he pulled away, his eyelids still heavy with sleep as he blinked at me. It always took Renly a little bit to wake up in the morning. “It’s supposed to rain today,” He added, motioning to the TV where the weatherman was pointing to the dark red and green clouds of rain on his radar. I glanced out the window to eye the grey clouds, hoping they might go away. 

“Yeah, but that’s okay,” I muttered, setting my coffee cup down on a coaster on the end table. “I wanted to drive the boat and watch you waterski but I guess not today,” I said, Renly nodded in agreement, watching the TV and yawning.

“You went for a run already? Typical,” Renly said, noticing my tee-shirt and athletic shorts and the dried sweat on the back of my neck. 

“Yeah, just a quick one,” 

“I could have gone with you,” 

“You wouldn’t have been able to keep up,” I teased and Renly smiled a little bit at me. Hooking my shoulder with a soft punch. 

“Rude. I probably could have kept up with you,” He mumbled, clearly not taking offense, just giving me a hard time. 

“I’m sure,” I rolled my eyes. Renly shrugged and stood up, moving to the kitchen. 

“How many?” He asked, holding up the pancake mix. I held up three fingers and he grinned at me. “Ah, you’re actually going to eat like a normal teenage boy today I see,” Renly joked and I watched him as he measured and poured and struggled with the gas stove. It had a tendency to not light when you turn the knob and flair up a moment later, which would catch you by surprise if you didn’t know the stove did that. I just stayed away from it and let Renly do the cooking. I got up to chop strawberries up for him as he flipped a pancake, grinning at me as it half landed in the pan. 

“You’re going to drop them, stop trying to be a show off,” I told him sternly, cutting off the stem of the strawberries and pushing them off the cutting bored. Renly pouted. 

“Aw, c’mon, that was pretty cool. Things like that should impress you,” Renly said, kicking out a foot and hitting my calf. “Or do I have to kick a few winning goals in soccer to impress the beautiful Loras Tyrell,” He joked, grinning at me and watching me out of the corner of his eye. I blushed and looked at the strawberries. 

“You don’t need to impress me,” I told him softly but I was pretty sure he didn’t hear me. And if he did he didn’t bother to answer me, just tended to his pancakes. Pretty soon we each had our own pancakes, strawberries and whipped cream with maple syrup and we didn’t dare eat anything with maple syrup on the couch so we ate the table which seemed weird because we never did that. 

Renly, to my surprise, brought up what I had been thinking about endlessly for the last ten hours. 

“So, what are we going to do about _this,_ ” He motioning between the two of us and I pushed a strawberry around on my plate, coating it with maple syrup before popping it into my mouth. I shrugged in response to his question. 

“What do you think we should do?” I asked softly. 

“I was asking you what you think we should do. Don’t flip this question on me,” He accused. I could feel his gaze on my face but I refused to meet it. I knew exactly what I wanted to do about us. I wanted to be with Renly, but I didn’t want anyone to know. I wanted to avoid the responsibly of being in a relationship. But I knew how Renly worked. It was all or nothing for him and he would not love having to hide a relationship away. For a little bit we stayed in silence before I finally figured it would be better to say something then to let the silence stretch on. 

“I like you,” I started, letting my fork drop onto my plate and forcing myself to meet his gaze, “I just don’t like the idea of everyone knowing that I like you,” Renly chewed at the inside of his cheek and our feet brushed underneath the table. 

“Why-“ 

“It just won’t work!” I snapped quickly, “Margaery, the team, my parents, you know how it is,” I said bitterly. Renly watched me silently, his eyes flitting between my gaze and everywhere else on my face. 

“I know,” He said softly. I took a deep breath. 

“But I like you. A lot.” I added standing and picking up my plate and moving to wash it at the sink. Renly watched me as I did his black hair curly like it always looked when he just got up. He hadn’t shaved in a while, so the black hair was starting to show on his chin. He was everything I needed and everything I wanted. I wiped my hands dry on a kitchen cloth and Renly stood to meet me. 

His hands slipped around my chest, fingers spread across my back. Heat rushed at his touch and he pressed his forehead closer to mine. Slowly a small lopsided smile spread across his cheeks.

“I like you a lot too,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be some heavy kissing next chapter. Just as a warning I guess? I haven't actually written it yet so I don't know for sure yet! :) Thanks to everyone who had commented and left kudos!


	9. Chapter 9

We’re out in the middle of the lake, me at the wheel of the boat and Renly struggling with water skis in the water behind me when his phone rings. I picked it up, eyeing at the caller id: Stannis. Renly must have noticed that I had his phone in his hand because he yelled to me. 

“Who is it?” His voice sounds distant with how far out behind the boat he is. 

“Stannis!” I called back, holding the phone carefully with my fingertips. As if Stannis would reach through the phone and choke me on the spot. Renly scrunched up his face, forcing his heel into the water ski. 

“Ew, don’t answer it.” Renly said, “He’s probably wondering where I am,” He said as he sat back in the water, floating on his back with the water skis pointing up. I return to my seat as the driver. 

“He’s just being a concerned older brother,” I yelled to him, glancing over my shoulder once Renly caught the rope. He had taken a few nasty spills on the water skis, but being as stubborn as he was he refused to stop in till he got it down pack. After we had finished out waffles and waited out a thunderstorm in the condo we deemed that we could take the boat out, as long as we were careful and watched the skies. Technically we were breaking the law by not having two people in the boat when someone is waterskiing. One to drive and one to watch the skier, but marine patrol hardly ever came up to the cove where Renly’s family’s condo and the dock where. So we weren’t too worried. 

A few more falls and a successful loop around the cove when Renly actually stood up for more than two minutes later he clambered aboard the boat, soaking wet. He grinned at me, lopsided like it always was. 

“Loras, you look like you need a real big hug,” He stepped towards me, dripping wet and shaking his hair like a dog. The water splattered across my face. 

“No, really, I’m good!” I protested, holding up my hands but Renly got be cornered against the glass side of the boat before I could get away. His hands snaked around my hips, his thumbs hooking onto my swim shorts. The ever present heat seared my skin even with the cool water that Renly dripped onto me. I squirmed in his gasp, pushing at his chest and laughing. 

“What’s wrong? Do you not enjoy sopping wet hugs?” Renly drawled sarcastically, looking down at me. I kept pushing at his chest, smiling as I did. 

“No not really,” I laughed. Renly leaned down to kiss my lips, his lips soft and cold and wet from the water. 

“How about sopping wet kisses?” He smirked as he pulled back but didn’t give me time to protest before he kissed me again. All heavy and full of tongue. I accepted it for a moment before I remembered where we were, and what I wanted. I turned my face to stop the kiss, feeling Renly’s warm breath against my cheek. Instead of getting discouraged he kissed along my jaw line to my ear, sucking gently on the skin behind my ear. I knew he had left a mark before I ducked away from him, rubbing at the spot. 

“Hey, no marks,” I scolded. Renly’s lips folded like he was trying to hold back a grin. I returned to my seat as the driver and we were heading back when Renly’s phone started ringing again. I slowed the boat down so Renly could hear if he picked up the phone. “Stannis?” I asked softly. Renly shook his head, answering me as he pressed the pickup button on his phone. 

“Robert.” 

My heart thundered in my chest as I watched him pick up the phone. Robert never called him unless it was a family emergency. He went to a different school, so they rarely ever saw him. He was a senior, like Stannis. But Stannis was a year older. From what I knew the family had put Stannis is a program called readiness before they sent him to school. They had Robert shortly after but chose not to put him in the same program as Stannis, so the two of them ended up in the same grade. Robert and Stannis where Irish twins, meaning they were born within the same year as each other. Margaery and I almost where. Our birthdays are only two weeks apart.

I could catch Robert’s voice from the other end of the phone, but just barely. Renly frowned at the water as he listened.

“Please, just don’t tell mom,” He said suddenly, breaking into Robert’s rant. “Seriously, don’t tell her; can’t you do this one thing for me?” Renly snapped into the phone. I sighed, rubbing at my eyes. Stannis must have discovered that Renly took the keys and told Robert. Renly would be in big trouble if his parents found out. They tended to keep a tight lease on all three on the Baratheon boys. And I knew that if his parents found out they would tell mine. Not that mine would care too much, they trusted Margaery and I to take care of ourselves. But they wouldn’t be happy that I didn’t bother to tell them I was going away and not staying at school. 

“Okay, yeah, bye,” Renly muttered, hanging up the phone and putting it back in the cup holder where we had been keeping it. I didn’t ask the questions I was dying to ask, just drove back to the dock. Renly did his job to catch the railings and pull the boat in, tying it off as he did. 

“Stannis might murder you in your sleep,” I said once we were walking up the path back to the condo. The rain had started again and it sprinkled lightly on the leaves of the trees. I watched the water slid off the leaves and fall to the ground. “You know how he feels when you take his stuff,” I muttered. Renly shrugged. 

“It’s okay.” 

“It is?” I asked softly. Renly nodded, looking over at me. 

“I can deal with Stannis. I only wanted to take this trip to be with you,” He smiled gently. My heart skipped a beat in my chest and I looked to the ground, feeling flustered. “We needed to have some time alone,” He added. We reached the condo and Renly had to press his shoulder into the door to get it to open because it was being stubborn. He stumbled inside, turning on me once I closed it behind me. I watched him, chewing at the inside of my cheek. 

“You’re dripping on the carpet, c’mon,” I said, leading him to the bathroom and fishing a towel out of the closet. When I turned back around he had taken his shirt off. I tried not to look at his chest when I handing him the towel. Renly rubbed it through his hair. And when he couldn’t see my eyes I let them wander over his skin. Bronzed and muscled and stunningly attractive. I forced myself to not reach out and touch it. 

_Thou shalt not creepily touch thou’s gay best friend._

I stuffed my hands into my swim short’s pockets, hoping that would stop them from acting on their own accord. Renly threw the towel back at me, hooking his thumbs into his swim shorts. My breath caught in my throat. 

“Whoa, let me leave the room before you strip,” I said quickly. Renly stopped in his movement, looking at me through his eyelashes. 

“You don’t have too,” He said, his voice dropping lower. Deep and seductive. More like he didn’t want me to leave. I froze half way to the door, heat pooling in my stomach. Renly reached over to turn the water to the shower on before he approached me. I swallowed; sweat beginning the form on the nape of my neck. This was moving too fast for me, but I couldn’t make myself move as Renly’s hands slipped underneath my tee-shirt. His fingers left goose bumps in their wake as they skimmed over my abdominal muscles. I leaned over to catch his lips before I could stop myself. 

My brain screamed in protest, but my groin cheered. 

I held his face, deepening the kiss quickly, my heart going one hundred miles an hour. Renly moaned softly against my lips, his hand slipping higher underneath my shirt. I let my hands slip behind his head to card through his hair, holding onto the black curls. Renly broke the kiss suddenly to pull my shirt over my head. I let him; dropping the towel I had been holding to join my shirt on the floor. Renly kissed at my neck and I allowed it, leaning back against the door. I had fallen into a trance. Hypnotized by Renly’s lips and teeth and the way his hips brushed against mine. It felt better than anything had before. 

Much more fire then when Sansa and I had kissed. I wondered briefly if everyone felt like they were burning up the first time someone touched them the way Renly was. His hands ghosted around my shoulders and back as he kissed my collarbone. Sucking the skin between his teeth and biting lightly. I wanted to protest to the slight sting that his teeth caused but only a moan fell from my mouth when I opened it. Renly must have taken that as a sign to do it again because he left another mark on my pectoral. His tongue pressed softly against the two marks, one at a time. Before I really knew what was going on Renly’s hand where on my hips bones and sliding underneath them to hold my behind. 

I woke from my trance full of his lips when he fell to his knees, kissing along on the waist band of my shorts. I gasped and spooked away from him quickly, wiping my lips with the back of my hand. That was way too fast for me. I scolded myself for even allowing Renly to let my shirt come off of my shoulders. The room had steamed up from the shower and Renly looked up at me from his place on the ground, confusion sprawled across his features. I opened my mouth to make up an excuse, but I couldn’t think of one. Swiftly I pushed the bathroom door open, leaving my shirt behind in my retreat and slammed it behind me. 

The air seemed much cleaner out in the main room as I gasped for breath. I stumbled away from the door, holding my hair away from my face. That was much too fast for me when Renly and I had only just kissed yesterday. It didn’t matter that we had known each other for three years, that was way too fast. I collapsed onto the couch, hoping the ache between my legs would leave. Everything about Renly made me want to let him do whatever he wanted to do. But I wanted to feel out this makeshift relationship before we went too far. Renly clearly did not share my views. 

I pulled one of the throw blankets we had left on the couch closer to me, curling up underneath it and listening to the pattering of the rain on the roof. My heartbeat slowed down eventually and the ache went away. 

_Thou shalt not go too far with thou’s gay best friend._

When Renly reappeared about an hour later I had found my laptop and was typing away at an AP English paper. It wasn’t going the way I planned, and seemed to keep running astray in a different direction then I had planned it to go. Much like Renly and I. Renly eyed the rain pouring down outside the house and I saved my paper before closing the document and my laptop. 

“Good thing we came inside when we did,” He said softly before moving around in the kitchen in search of something to eat. He resurfaced from the fridge with sliced chicken, lettuce, cheese and mannoses. It didn’t surprise me that Renly knew how I liked my sandwiched and pushed one toward me a few minutes later. I smiled in thanks but waited till he was finished with his (he doesn’t like cheese on his) and collapsed next to me to eat it. 

“This is more like dinner for us, isn’t it?” I asked in-between bites, glancing at my phone to find the time and a few texts from Margaery. I didn’t bother to read them, I didn’t even want to think about my sister and how I was slowly crushing her chances with Renly between my fingertips. “It’s already four o’clock, where did the day go?” I was trying to deter any talk of my retreat from the bathroom earlier but Renly brought it up anyways, as blunt as always. 

“I would have been gentle you know,” He said, talking with his mouth full like he always did. Manners be damned.

“W-What-“ 

“I wouldn't have used teeth or anything if that was what you were scared off.” Renly turned to look at me, not a hint of a smile on his face. It caught up to me what he was talking about. The almost blowjob I had retreated from. “It would have felt really good, trust me,” He said and I blushed furiously. 

“I’m sure it would have,” I managed to force out. Renly was so calm with talking about this kind of stuff, almost like he did it all the time. 

“Then why did you leave?” He questioned, scooting closer to me on the couch. He had already inhaled his entire sandwich, while I was only half way done. Renly’s hand fell to my thigh underneath the blanket and rubbed gently with his thumb. I tried to move away but Renly had me corner on the edge of the couch. 

“I just, uh,” I stumbled, at a loss for words. How do you tell your best friend that you are not at all interested in doing those kinds of sexual acts so soon in a relationship? Renly lifted an eyebrow at me, expecting a complete answer to his question. I struggled for an excuse. I didn’t want to just come out and tell him that I didn’t want to do that kind of stuff; he would think that I didn’t want him. I did want Renly, but I wanted to work up to that. Not just start out with it. “You needed to shower,” I finally said, blushing furiously. I put the plate with the sandwich down on the end table, turning to Renly and taking the hand he had on the thigh in my own. 

“I did but it could have waited. I’m great at them, you would have loved it,” Renly protested. I struggled to breath for a moment. 

“What do you mean you’re great at them?” I questioned suddenly. I was sure Renly had never been with a guy before me. Maybe I was wrong. Renly looked startled for a second at my question.

“Wait, you thought I had never been with a guy before?” Renly’s lips snaked into a smile and he laughed a little through his nose. 

“Well, yeah,” I dropped his hand and looked away from him. No wonder Renly had been so pushy to get things going between us, he had done it all before. Renly lay back on the couch, looking over at me out of the corner of his eyes. 

“I sucked my first guy off the summer of sophomore year,” Renly sighed like it was a fond memory and I watched him, bewildered. “It was pretty weird,” he added with a shrug and sat back up to look at me. I stared at him, looking like a deer in headlights. “What about you?” He asked, looking at the dirt underneath his finger nails. I looked to the side, feeling like anything I said would be awkward. Renly and I never talked about this kind of stuff together; I was completely out of my element. 

“Uh, well, I don’t have that kind of experience,” I mumbled, looking at my shoes. Renly sat up quickly, cocking his head at me. 

“You, golden boy Loras Tyrell, hasn’t got any experience?” I grimaced at his words. God I was pathetic, eighteen years old with no experience. Renly laughed a little bit before leaning over to kiss my cheek and then the mark he had left behind me ear. I sighed and leaned a little into his touch. “I can give you some,” Renly breathed into my ear his hand slipping back to my thigh. 

“It’s okay,” I said hurriedly, slipping away from his grasp and to my feet. “We can do that stuff some other time,” I stated, picking up the forgotten half of my sandwich and eating it as I fished around in the fridge for something to drink. Renly shrugged. 

“Okay.” 

I was sure I was the definition of pathetic. 

\---

I couldn’t sleep that night. Unlike Renly who had basically passed out the second his head hit the pillows beside me. I stared up at the ceiling, Renly’s breath stirring the hair on my head. Maybe if I stared long enough my problems would just sort themselves out on their own, and I could just lay here with Renly’s heat on my side and sleep peacefully. My thoughts didn’t appear to like that and just continued to run rampart inside my skull. 

Margaery. Margaery had to know, I had to come out to her properly. And hope that she would not be mad about Renly and me. I was the worst older brother on the planet. Stealing your sister’s prom date had to be one of the things high on the list of the worst things an older brother can do. Deep down I think I knew that Margaery, even if she was mad, wouldn’t show it. She had always been that way. Acting like something that bothered her didn’t bother her at all. Or passive aggressively letting you know that it did. 

It was annoying, but the aftermath of telling her I was gay one the least of my problems. More of how exactly to tell your sister that you bat for the wrong team. From what I had heard from Renly and Sansa she already knew, but I had no idea if that was the truth or no. Most likely it was, girls tend to have an uncanny sense for knowing when a guy is gay. It’s like they can smell when you appreciate the same thing as they do. And if Margaery did know, that would make things even more awkward. I cringed and rolled over onto my side to press my back against Renly just at the thought of telling her. 

Renly himself seemed to be the second problem. Although we hadn’t outright discussed it, Renly wanted to show me off to the world as his own. As sweet as that was, I did not want that to happen. At least, I didn’t want it to happen yet. I knew that he would not rest until he could go up to anyone in the world, point to me, and tell them that we were dating. Or that we are in a we’re-best-friends-but-we-like-to-kiss relationship we seemed to currently have going on. 

Speak of the devil; Renly shifted a little bit, his arm tightening around my stomach. I rolled back over to face him as opened his eyes, pressing his lips to my forehead gently. 

“Can’t sleep?” He asked his voice heavy with sleep. 

“No. It seemed to be a recurring problem lately,” I said softly. Renly rubbed small circles into my back while his eyelids dropped back down to shut. I sighed, thinking he had fallen back asleep, and moved back to stare up at the ceiling. To my surprise Renly moved again to press his forehead to the side of my head. “Stop worrying about everything, Loras, just enjoy this weekend with me,” He whispered. “All that scowling you’ve been doing lately is going to give you wrinkled.” Renly playfully pressed his fingers to my forehead as if he was smoothing out forming wrinkles. A smile flittered across my cheeks. 

“You don’t think I would look nice with some worry wrinkles?” I asked him. Renly snorted, opening his eyes to look at me. 

“You would look nice with anything,” He whispered, leaning forward to kiss my lips softly. I let my eyes close, curling closer to him. And when he pulled away I let my head rest close to his, breathing in each other’s breath. 

“Even sweaty soccer gear?” I mumbled, smiling a little bit. I could tell Renly was grinning even if my eyes were closed. 

“In sweaty soccer gear was how I found you when I fell in love with you,”


	10. Chapter 10

The drive back to school was quiet. I tapped my fingers against the wheel of his car; half listening to the radio and half wondering why Renly was so quiet. He was staring out the car window, his face half pressed against the glass, expression completely stoic. When I exited the highway, only about a half an hour away from King’s Academy I spoke up. 

“You okay?” I asked, my voice sounding awkward after the hour long silence. I cleared my throat and watched Renly out of the corner of my eye. He nodded slowly and we fell back into the silence. All I could figure was that he was upset about having to go back. We still hadn’t reached a firm agreement, but the thought was that we would keep our relationship underneath the rug. Renly didn’t agree with my views of how we should conduct hiding it. I respected him for being polite enough to follow my views for the time being. 

“Do you think we can win the championship game on Thursday?” I asked him again, trying to start up some kind of conversation. Renly piped up a bit at that and turned to look at me. He looked tired, bags underneath his eyes. Which I assumed must have been because I had woken him up several times last night when we had laid next to each other. 

“I hope so,” He answered dryly, “But it’s supposed to rain so we probably won’t have the game,” Renly added, reaching over the switch the radio station. I sighed. 

“Well if it rains that would give us another week for practice,” I said, trying to sound happier then I felt. Renly’s crabby mood was rubbing off on me. I pushed a curl of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. Renly watched my movements. 

“The teams throwing an end of the year party on the back field on Friday.” Renly stated. I snorted. 

“You mean an end of the year let’s-get-drunk party right?” I laughed a little bit, turning onto another road. Renly shrugged, but I saw a hint of a smile tug at the corner of his lips. As upset as he must have been about going back to school, our normal banter could still make him smile a bit. 

“We should go.” Renly stated. I shrugged rolling my shoulders. 

“And drink?”

“Yeah, sounds like a good time,” Renly looked at me and I met his gaze. 

“Maybe,” I finally said after a moment of silence. I saw Renly smile again, this time a real and true one. “Just don’t go kissing my sister on me again.” I threatened. Renly batted his hand. 

“Please, I’ve got a new Tyrell to kiss,” He said, teasing me now. I laughed a little through my nose and Renly leaned over to plant a kiss on my cheek before he returned to looking out the window. We fell back into silence, but a much more comfortable one. When we reached King’s I parked Renly’s car where he always left it and stepped out. It’s was Sunday afternoon, so most of the students where either returning from their weekends away or just laying around in the afternoon sun. Renly tossed my backpack to me once I got out of the car and we started off down the path we had walked hundreds of times together towards the dorms. 

This time it felt different though. I knew that I could reach over and take Renly’s hand if I wanted to. I didn’t want to, so that changed things. But just knowing that I had the options to declare myself as completely gay with Renly at my side made me smile a little bit. We split at the pathway to the senior dorm and I waved goodbye to him. I slugged up the steps to my dorm, surprised to find the door unlocked when I got up there. 

Pushing it open carefully, because I could hear voices muffled behind the door, I stepped in. Much to my surprise, Jaime was sitting on his bed. Well, Jaime wasn’t surprising, but the fact that Sansa Stark was sitting across from in was a little bit of a shock. I don’t think I had even seen the two interacting. Sansa had her hands tucked in her lap but was giggling when I pushed open the door. Her face transformed into a large smile when she saw me. I placed my bag down slowly as Jaime leaned back onto his pillows. 

“Sansa was looking for you,” He stated, motioning to her. Sansa stood from my bed, brushing off her skinny jeans, “You weren’t here so I entertained her,” 

“Yeah, I just got back,” I mumbled. Sansa knew that I was off with Renly, and by the look on her face she was excited to talk to me. “You want to walk?” I asked her, motioning towards the door. Sansa nodded, saying goodbye the Jaime politely, who raised a hand in a goodbye. Once the door was shut behind us she grabbed my arm, spinning me so I had to look at her. “Tell me everything.” Sansa said firmly, reaching up to press her fingers against the edge of one of the hickey Renly had left in his wake that was peeking out from underneath my tee-shirt. Blushing I pulled it up to cover it again but Sansa had already caught it. I kept my mouth shut about to her till we were a way from the dorms, walking off down towards the woods path that led to the abandoned back fields. 

“He tipped a jet ski over on purpose.” I mumbled, rubbing the mark behind my ear and covering it with my hair quickly after. Sansa looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “And then we kissed.” I think Sansa actually screamed a little bit before she flung her hands around my neck, hugging me tightly. I hugged her back. 

“Yes! I knew it! I knew it this whole time that he was gay!” She proclaimed, pulling back to look back up at me, “So I can tell everyone that I was the main encouragement between Loras Tyrell and Renly Barentheon’s relationship?” Sansa asked, looking far too happy with herself. I scratched at the back of my neck. 

“Well, the thing is, you can’t tell anyone,” I said softly. Sansa raised her eyebrows. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t want anyone to know. I mean, Renly wants everyone to know, but I want to keep it a secret. I haven’t told anyone besides you. Not even Margaery,” I stated, stuffing my hands into my pockets. My stomach clenched a little bit at the thought of having to talk to Margaery. It was the ever present thought in the back of my mind. 

“Everyone knows, you should just come out,” She said bluntly. I shook my head furiously. 

“No, I don’t want too-“ 

“Loras, closets have very little ventilation. Pretty soon the heat is going to get to you and you’re going to have to open the door,” Sansa said. I rolled my eyes. 

“Tyrell’s have a surprising tolerance to heat.” I muttered. Already we were back to discussing how I needed to come out of the closet. We fell into silence for a little bit, me scuffling my heat in the ground and her staring at me as if she expected me to say something. Sansa sighed and slowly she smiled at me. 

“Please at least tell me he was a good kisser if you refuse to tell everyone that you kissed Renly Baratheon.” 

\---

At practice two days later I was glad that we were going for a run again. It meant that I wouldn’t be distracted by the eyes Renly had been giving me all of yesterday. While I enjoyed the way he would wink at me in the hallways and made my stomach to flips, I really wanted to win the championship game. And having Renly wink at me when he stole the ball from me or did a push up that really showed off his biceps was not helping me focus on winning. Robb Stark’s constant beating feet beside my own where a good replacement to thinking about Renly. 

It had clouded over by then in the day, and I could see a threatening storm looming in the distance. On the news they had said it was going to thunder, but that hadn’t stopped coach from wanting to practice none the less. I watched a lightning strike flash down in the clouds and I could practically feel the weight of the impending rain on my shoulders. 

“We should really head back,” I advised Robb, as the thunder shuddered through the ground. Robb stared ahead silently for a moment and I wasn’t sure he had heard me till he spoke up. 

“We can make it back,” He muttered, as stubborn as ever. I snorted and watched a rock approach us, cleaning stepping around it. 

“Sure, you and I can. And maybe Jon, Jorah and Rakharo. But what about Renly, Stannis, Jaime, Gendry and Theon?” I questioned him. I saw the look of worry flash across his face before his eyebrows creased back together in the middle of his forehead. 

“We can make it.” Robb said stubbornly and I rolled my eyes. 

“You’re insane.” I growled as we passed the shortcut back to school but let my feet continuing their constant pounding. Nervously I glanced over my shoulder and felt the rain start leaking down on my head. For a moment I was worried that my hair would look stupid if Renly saw it but then I realized that if Renly got struck by lightning it wouldn’t matter. Thunder boomed above us and I flinched and grabbed Robb’s arm, hauling him to a stop. The rain picked up to a pour and Jon half slammed into me because he and Jorah were right on Robb and my heels. 

“We need to stop.” I said firmly. Robb pushed his wet hair out of his face and for a moment I thought he was going to challenge me again before thunder clapped above us again. Robb nodded solemnly and we waited for a moment for everyone to catch up to us. I surveyed the area we were in while Robb explained that we need to get shelter because he didn’t want to lose another player to lightning right before the biggest game. I held back my snort of laughter because he wasn’t the one who made us stop. 

As I looked around at the trees I realized that we couldn’t have been more than a mile from the school. But that was a mile more to run or walk in the pouring rain and lightning. Robb caught my gaze and must have seen my look of desperation as I realized that there wasn’t any place for shelter. I took a step backwards, right into Renly who I hadn’t noticed was there when a lightning bolt hit a tree near us and the thunder shook the ground. He caught my hand which I immediately took back. Renly looked hurt for a second. But he needed to understand that I did not want people see us. 

Not that anyone could see much through the pouring rain. Softly behind my back I took his hand back in a silent apology, rubbing circles with my thumb before I dropped his hand again. 

“We have to keep going,” Jon piped up, all of us a little shaken from the thunder bolt. Robb nodded and everyone else agreed with silent head nods. Having lost our positions with our partners I made sure to stay towards the back of the group to encourage Jaime and Renly and Theon. Just to make sure they were at least somewhat keeping up with the gruel pace Robb and Jon where setting. 

Renly hung back with me and I matched my stride with his all the way back to the academy. When we hit the fields (careful not to slip like Robb and I’s previous collision) coach was no were to be found so we just hit the locker rooms, cringing as another lightning bolt streaked down to touch the ground near our soccer field. We found coach inside and he yelled at us for not turning back when the cloud showed up but let us go on our way after that. 

Renly caught me by the back of my hair, running his hands through my hair. I checked around us to see if anyone was watching. Jorah and Gendry were the only ones left beside Renly and I but they were packing up quickly. Gently Renly pulled out a tangle in my hair caused by the pouring rain. Gently I pushed his hands off. 

“Not here, we agreed on it,” I mumbled. Renly sighed and collapsed back onto the bench beside my locker. I watched Jorah and Gendry leave the room before continuing the conversation. “You agreed to not do that kind of stuff in public. No hand holding, no touching hair, and especially not winking at me in the hallway!” I snapped, slipping my running shoes off and into my locker. Renly groaned and rubbed at his eyes. 

“Why do you care?” He wined, sounding like a child. I tensed a little bit. I wasn’t sure even I knew the answer to that question. Why did I care so much about people not knowing that I was gay? I flashed back to my thoughts at Renly’s condo. Because Margaery wouldn’t like it, things would get awkward on the soccer team and my family would frown heavily upon me for the rest of my days. It seemed silly when I thought about it then. I was so worried about what other people would think of me that I hadn’t bothered to think about what I wanted. 

“Because,” I answered softly, closing my locker with a bang. Renly must have spotted the expression on my face change from frustrated to upset and he stood up, folding me into his arms. I let him now that no one was looking. Renly’s hand rubbed at my back gently and I stretched a little bit. 

“Loras, I want to tell everyone that you are mine, please just let me.” He whispered, “You’re everything that I’ve been after for a while now and I want to show it off.” Renly added his breath ghosting against my ear. He kissed the mark he made, “Please.” For a moment I was ready to give in and tell everyone that I was utterly in love with Renly. It felt so right to just say yes when he kissed at my neck and let his hands slip underneath my soaking wet tee-shirt. I leaned up to kiss him softly, smiling gently. 

“No.” I said firmly, hoping I sounded stronger about my opinion then I truly thought about it. Renly frowned and pursed his lips, beginning to pull his hands away from me. I grabbed his hands quickly, still desperate for him to hold me. Gently I put his hands on my hips and carded my hands through his hair. “But I still like you a lot. I just don’t want other people to know that I like you a lot,” I said, kissing him firmly and holding him close to me. Much to be expected Renly melted into the kiss. 

“But I want people to know,” Renly said against my lips. 

“Shut up,” I mumbled in between the kisses I placed on his lips, savoring the feeling of their softness against my own. Using Renly’s own trick against him I caught his lower lip between my teeth and sucked gently. Renly gasped a little bit at my sudden aggressive movement which gave me the chance to slip my tongue into his mouth, running it along his own. 

“Make me,” He answered once we broke apart and his words went straight to my groin. Reluctantly I pulled away, looking up at him. Renly tried to seal the gap between us but I turned my head to him. 

“Jaime’s out for the evening on a date, I can make you back in my dorm room,” I said softly, knowing fully that I was offering Renly what I had denied him for the last few days. Renly perked up a bit at this and I pulled completely from him to shoulder my back pack and head for the door, knowing that Renly was hot on my heels. “On one condition,” I stopped before I reached the door, turning to look at him. “Don’t ask about telling people about us again for tonight,” I stated firmly. Renly looked torn for a second. Torn between getting to go farther with me or pressure what he wanted me to do. Slowly he nodded. 

“Okay. Fine. But you have to agree to tell at least one person by the end of the week,” Renly said, pushing open the door. I shrugged, a smile playing on my lips. 

“One step ahead of you.” I said simply and Renly asked me to explain but I kept my mouth shut on our way back to my dorm in the pouring rain. I wasn’t about to tell him already that Sansa had been the main reason I had ever even come close to kissing him and that she already knew. I would keep that secret up my sleeve. 

Now, when Renly kissed me it was full of passion and heat. Much like the first time we had kissed, about a week ago. His hands fumbled with the lock on my dorm room and I kissed at his collarbone, grinning as he cursed at me and struggled more. 

I caught Renly’s hand and did the lock for him, my hand steady and sure compared to his own slightly shaky one. Grinning, I pulled back from him and pressed against the door, watching his green eyes skim over my body. He smiled back, grabbing hold of my hips and pulling them to meet his own. I carded my hands through his hair, holding the hair on the nape of his neck as I pulled him to kiss me. 

What we had going on now worked for me. I could have Renly, without all the drama of everyone else. It was everything I had dreamed of. Renly was not as excited about our arrangement as I was. He wanted to show me off to the world and hold my hand in public. I found it sweet I guess, but I couldn’t deal with it. Renly’s teeth on my lower lip spooked me out of my thoughts as his tongue pressed against my teeth willing them to open. 

Grinning against his lips I allowed my mouth to open for a second before I nipped lightly at his tongue. Renly squawked in disapproval and pulled back. He was still smiling when I slipped underneath his arm looked out the window at the pouring rain. The rain always soothed me in an odd way. It was constant, like how running was. I could always relay on rain to be the same, feel the same, and look the same. It was nothing like people. I knew Renly would be behind me before I felt his hands warp around my hips. I hissed as he kissed at my neck and hooked his thumbs into my belt loops pulling my hips against his. 

“You’re inconceivable,” I mumbled even as I smiled and tried to push away from him. Renly growled into my neck, biting lightly and holding tight to my hips. 

“Is that so?” He whispered into my ear, sucking on the skin behind my ear. 

“If you darken that mark I will hurt you,” I warned even as the smile stayed on my cheeks. Renly mumbled that he wouldn’t when he obviously already had and tried to cover it with my hair. He rested his head on my shoulder, his hands rising to lie on my stomach. 

“You think we can win the game on Friday?” He asked softly. I sighed, not really wanting to think about the pressure of the championship game right now. Sure, we had Jaime back in for goal so our chances where much better but my stomach still fluttered with nerves at the thought of the game. 

“I hope so,” I said, pressing my hips back against his to hopefully get his attention back to the task on hand. Renly went back to kissing at my neck. His hands slipped downwards, resting on the sides of my hips and I forced myself to not gasp as the contact. 

Renly pulled my hips to meet his as he kissed and sucked at my skin. I turned my head so I could see him and he looked back before leaning over to catch my lips. I let his tongue find itself inside my mouth this time. He skimmed around my teeth before meeting my own tongue. Renly groaned gently into the kiss which sent shivers down my spine. I tangled my tongue with his, pressing against him hard all of the suddenly. Twisting in his arms so we could face each other I pushed him backwards. We pulled away from each other so Renly could make sure he didn’t trip over anything as he sat down on my bed. 

For a moment I admired him. He collapsed backwards, his hand supporting himself behind as he watched me. Renly’s smile was what always struck me as his strongest feature, but it could just because that was the one I saw the most. At that moment he smiled gently at me and I watched as his eyes glided down to my hips and back up. 

_He’s checking you out._

I laughed a little bit which seemed to catch Renly off guard before I hooked my hands on the bottom of my soaking wet shirt pulling it off over my head and tossing it haphazardly to the side. Which I knew deep down Jaime would have disapproved of in our dorm room. Especially because the shirt was damp with water. Though I doubt he would have approved of Renly and me making out either. Renly’s smile widened as his eyes ghosted over my chest. He looked back to my eyes and made a twirling motion with his fingers. I turned on his command and flushed a little bit.

When I turned back to face him Renly was tugging his own shirt off. He leaned forward to grab me by my belt loops and pull me onto his lap. I straddled him, letting my hips hover above his own, taking the moment to admire the way his shoulder muscles curved as his hands fell onto my behind. I rested my head on his, breathing in the scent of his shampoo as he kneaded my behind. Slowly I let my hips drop down to meet his. Renly groaned at the contact his hands ghosting back down to touch my thighs. As much as I wanted to go slowly, the feeling send shivers through my spine and heat spiraling down to my lower regions.

I rocked slightly, taking his lips back onto mine and kissing him. Sharp and jarring but what felt right at the moment. Renly pulled me with him as he fell back onto his back his head hitting my pillows. Briefly I wondered if they would smell like him after he left, which I sure wished they would. He pulled away suddenly, which spooked me a little bit, and stared up at me. Renly’s hand rose to my cheek, stroking across my cheekbone. I leaned into his touch, taking his hand from my cheek and kissing the pads of his fingers. Renly smiled. 

“I want to tell everyone,” He said quickly and I huffed with disappointment, his smiled faded as mine did. I sat back on his thighs, taking away the contact of our hips. Renly wined in disappointment, pulling at my hips in a weak attempt to bring me back. 

“Well I don’t,” I muttered stubbornly, holding my ground with Renly’s gaze, angry that he had brought it up after I asked him not to. Why couldn't he just except that I didn't want to tell everyone? He collapsed back onto my pillows his hands moving to rest on my knees. 

“What are you so scared of!?” Renly snapped. I gritted my teeth and swung off his lap, sitting on the edge of my bed. Everything, I wanted to tell him everything I was scared of. I was scared of being teased, of being alone, of commitment. I was scared of so many things having to do with Renly. But, aren’t most people scared the first time they do something?

When I was six my father taught Margaery and I how to ride bikes. Since we were so close in age, almost Irish twins, we did everything together. When she had clambered on top of the bike as excited as she was about everything and then had promptly fallen and scraped her knee on the pavement I was much less willing to get on the bike. It seems silly now, to be scared of something like a bike. But it took my father weeks to get me on one. Long after Margaery’s knee had healed and she was pedaling off down the road. I was terrified of a bike, because of something someone else had done. It was pathetic. 

Renly sat up when I didn’t answer him, looping his arms around my shoulders and kissing at my bare collarbone. I tried to shrug him off, not in the mood anymore, but Renly pulled me with him. Flipping our positions and pinning me down onto the bed sheets. 

“Renly.” I growled, pushing at his chest and turning my face to avoid his lips. He caught mine anyways, nibbling on my bottom lip as I tried to move away from him. I put my hands on his face, pushing him away from me. He frowned down at me. “Stop.” I muttered, and now that his grip had lessoned I pushed him off of me, standing up and retrieving my shirt. “You broke our promise.” I said, shrugging my shirt on. Renly watched me coldly. “I think you should go,” 

Renly scowled but got up and put his own shirt back on. I didn’t turn around till he was out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally sorry for these weird fluffy chapters here. Championship game is coming up soon!


	11. Chapter 11

The day of our championship game I woke up to pouring rain and a depressed looking Jaime Lannister. I sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and trying to make Jaime’s figure look less blurry in my eyes. He looked to me once I had sat up fully, already dressed and perfect looking. 

“No game today, Robb sent us all texts to let us know,” Jaime murmured before looking back to the window and the pouring rain. I groaned and laid back on the pillows, watching the ceiling fan spin around and trying to stop my eye lids from drooping back down. I didn’t want to get up in the first place, and I really didn’t want to get up if we didn’t even have a championship game to go to. Renly and I hadn’t fixed out disagreement over who should be told of us after almost four days now. He was giving me the cold shoulder, and trying to act like it didn’t bother him, when it really did. 

“So the game is next week then, right?” I asked, forcing myself to get up and collect the clothing I was wearing today. 

“Next Monday, according to Robb,” Jaime answered, nodding as he did so. 

“Gives us more time to practice,” I said softly. Jaime snorted. 

“More time to over think how we are going to play,” He snapped and I shrugged. Deciding not to engage him anymore in this conversation due to his foul mood. I could understand why Jaime was upset that the game wasn’t today, he had more pressure than I did. Because I knew for a fact that some late college scouters were planning on being at the game. Scouters would be willing to basically give you anything to go to their school this late in the season, they are basically just looking for some last minute add ins. Jaime, I knew was on their list of potential players. It seemed a little silly though, it’s not like Jaime needed any money to go to college. Much less a full ride soccer scholarship to a college. 

Now I was just being a hypocritical. I have a full ride soccer scholarship all set up already; they scouted me in the beginning of the year. But I didn’t need the money either. I was going to college about four hours from King’s Academy, and about six hours from home. 

I shrugged my button up school uniform shirt onto my shoulders and went about tucking it in and buttoning it, making sure to face away from Jaime so he wouldn’t be able to see the marks on my neck. I guess he would have assumed they were left there by Sansa because people seemed to still think we were dating, but I didn’t want to take any chances. I turned back around once it was all buttoned up to tie the tie and face Jaime. 

“Is conditioning still going on?” I asked, sourly hoping coach wouldn’t make us do anything due to the rain and the thunder incident on Monday. Jaime stood and picked up his backpack and I followed in his suit, snagging a granola bar out from the box underneath my bed. 

“Yes, but I don’t think we are doing much,” Jaime answered dryly as he held the door open for me. We often walked to conditioning together, if Jaime got back before I left. But by the looks of things I doubted he even went to breakfast. It was an icy silence, and I reminded myself not to get on Jaime’s bad side today.

I still had no idea why I had taken that punch for Jaime a few weeks back, my nose had managed to heal even if I was still picking up pieces of my pride off the floor. I didn’t ask him, and he didn’t ask why I had come home crying after prom. It was an understanding we had. But even with that understanding curiosity still chewed at the corner of my mind. Why did Gregor want to punch Jaime? And more importantly, why in hell did I take it for him. Jaime and I had played soccer together for a long time, even since seventh grade, but we weren’t extremely close. He didn’t sit with me at lunch or in the classes we had together. In fact, the only time we really communicated was at practice or in our dorm room. 

When we reached the locker room we were a little early. Only Jorah and Robb having beaten us there. And Robb was quietly discussion with coach in the corner. I noted that he hadn’t changed into running clothes, so I assumed we wouldn’t be changing at all. Whispering my findings to Jaime he nodded in agreement and we sat down next to Jorah on one of the benches. He waved his greeting but we all kept quiet in respect for Robb and coach. Slowly the rest of the team filed in, Renly included. Just the sight of him made my stomach flip with nerves. He eyed me coldly before taking the seat beside me. And even when he brushed his hand over mine in greeting I could practically feel the tension between us. 

Renly had taken my choice not to tell everyone quiet personally, which frustrated me to no end. He didn’t seem to understand that I might not want everyone to know I was gay. This confused me a little bit, because no one knew Renly was gay either. He was being a hypocrite in a way. Renly was mad at me because I didn’t want to tell everyone, when he himself had not told anyone either. I clenched my teeth a bit in frustration over the whole thing as coach finally broke his quieted talk with Robb to address all of us. 

“We all know the game had been canceled, and do to the weather we are not going to condition either. Take the day off, no practice today or tomorrow,” Coach proclaimed and I sighed a little bit. I wasn’t sure it was such a good choice to take two days off of practice, but maybe all of our nerves for the game were beginning to show in practice. Just yesterday Jorah had missed a wide open shot on goal in our scrimmage. And Gendry was running at half the speed that he normal did. Even Jaime was missing more shots than normal. Coach made us all gather round for a cheer, which was much weaker than normal. 

Once we broke apart and coach left us to go back to his office Robb climbed up on top of a bench so we would all pay attention to him. 

“While coach may not want us practice, I say we practice,” He stated and I snorted. It was just like Robb to refuse a day off and make all of us join in with him. Jorah seemed to share my thoughts and spoke up to argue with Robb. 

“We need the day off, we don’t need to practice,” Jorah mumbled. The whole team nodded in agreement, and much to my surprise Robb laughed. I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“No real practice I mean,” Robb was grinning a bit, but I was still royally confused. Luckily Theon seemed to catch on to what he was saying. 

“You mean our own type of soccer game?” He questioned and Robb nodded in agreement. It clicked for me then; they were talking about an official game of drunken soccer. I remember Renly mentioning a soccer party in our car ride back to school, but I didn’t anticipate this type of party. Robb and Jon had played a fake version of the soccer team’s favorite games at the after party of prom. But what was being suggested now was a full out game of intoxicated soccer. Meaning the whole team and the JV team would be involved. 

“Bad idea,” I said quickly, not really meaning for the words to come out of my mouth. Robb turned to me, folding his arms across his chest. “We don’t need to jeopardize the already far and few between brain cells on this team with more drinking,” I said dryly, mimicking Robb’s crossed arms with my own. I heard Renly try to hide a laugh beside me, covering his mouth. Even if we were in a kind of fight, it was good to know he would still laugh at my jokes. 

“You’re just saying that because you don’t like drinking, Tyrell,” Theon said, backing up Robb. I shrugged. It was true; drinking wasn’t my favorite pass time. I couldn’t hold drinks to well, and after I had thrown up at a party last year and felt like dying for the next few days, I had basically stopped drinking. 

“Well, if you don’t like it, don’t come,” Robb said, waving me off. “But, we’re going to play soccer tonight, at seven, on the back fields! I’m inviting the JV team too, but we will split it up evenly so they actually have a chance of winning.” Someone laughed at his words, “And there will be drinking,” Robb looked at me when he said the words and I frowned back at him. He hopped back off of the bench, silently ending our locker room meeting. I picked my backpack back up and headed for the door. Renly caught me by the shoulder before I could get very far. 

“Are you going to go?” He asked. I snorted. 

“Nope.” 

“C’mon Loras, it’ll be fun, you should come,” Renly encouraged me, taking his hand away from my shoulder. Normally I would have expected him to wrap it around me, but that was before we engaged in this awkward icy disagreement we were having, 

“Drinking is not my version of fun. Remember what happened last time you drank?” I asked, stabbing an accusing finger into his chest trying to get him to remember his kiss with Margaery. Renly batted my hand away, narrowing his eyes a bit. 

“Do you not trust me?” Renly accused. I reeled a little bit in shock from his question. We were talking about going to the party and now suddenly the conversation had flipped around to me trusting him not to kiss my sister again. “I wouldn’t think you would care, anyways,” He growled, at least having enough respect for me to not bring this up when anyone else was in the room. “Considering you don’t even want to tell anyone.” 

“No, I don’t really trust you anymore after that,” I snapped at him, crossing my arms and taking a step away from him to keep the distance. Renly frowned, his eye brows furrowing in the middle of his forehead. 

“Fine,” He said suddenly, shouldering past me and out the door. I stared after him for a moment, wondering if I should follow him. Deciding not to I hung back in the locker room for a moment, scuffling my feet. I wanted Renly and me to work, but if he wasn’t going to be able to accept that I didn’t want people to know about us, I’m not sure we could. 

And that possibility made me want to sob. 

\---

Margaery fell onto my bed when she entered my room, kicking her flats off once she hit the sheets. Sansa, ever more polite, took the desk chair and daintily took off her own shoes. The school day had been rather unproductive, with all my upsetting thoughts about Renly and I. Every time I tried not to think about him I could only do it more. Sansa could sense my feelings, and I knew Margaery could tell I was upset even if she didn’t say anything. Hence why the two of them where now in my room, having convinced themselves that I would be happier when them their then I would ever be by myself. 

Margaery tugged me down onto my own bed, gently pulling at the tangles in my hair like she used to when we were kids. I leaned into her, allowing her to do so. Sansa smiled gently at me. 

“There is a party going on tonight,” Margaery piped up and I groaned a bit. Of course she would know about that. Margaery knew about all the cool parties. “We should go!” She exclaimed suddenly. 

“No.” I muttered back, “I don’t want to see any more drunk people then I already have,” I growled. Margaery sighed and tugged harder at one of the snarls. I squawked and pushed her hands away from my head and looked at her. “What was that for?” 

“Don’t be such a spoilsport! It would be fun!” Margaery insisted. I pushed her over a bit on my bed so that I could lie back on the pillows

“Trust me, it won’t be fun,” I said sourly. Margaery pouted at me, poking at my stomach. 

“Renly will be there,” She said and I found myself laughing a little bit at the irony. Renly was exactly the reason I did not want to go to the party. Renly being drunk was the reason to be exact. With this grudge he was holding against me currently and the way we had talked in the locker room I wanted to keep Margaery very far from Renly. I wasn’t sure I could handle how I would feel if he kissed her again. 

“I don’t care if he will be there,” I said, my voice cracking a little bit. I did care. I cared a lot. Margaery shrugged, leaning back to lie next to me. Sansa spoke up then. 

“Robb told me I shouldn’t go anyways,” She said softly. I looked at her and Margaery propped herself on her elbow to get a better look at her. 

“Even more reason why we should go!” She exclaimed suddenly, pushing her way out and over me so she could stand up. “Wouldn’t it be great, we show up, Loras looking perfect as ever and me as beautiful as ever. And just as Robb Stark opens his mouth to say hello we step aside and show off his beautifully sexy younger sister!” Margaery waved her hands like she could put her thoughts on a bulletin board. She pulled Sansa to her feet and spun her around. “I could do your hair!” Sansa laughed. I groaned. 

“Margaery no, I don’t want to go to the party, let alone watch the whole soccer team ogle you and Sansa. It’s a boy party,” I growled, watching them as Margaery ran her fingers through Sansa’s hair. Margaery laughed a little through her nose. 

“I could care less if it’s a boy party,” She rolled her eyes at me, “It’s even more of a reason to go if it’s an all boy’s party,” Margaery winked at Sansa who laughed again at her words. “More beautiful soccer boy asses to stare at!” 

“What have I said about talking about the team and physical attributes in front of me?” I questioned, sitting up and resting my feet on the floor. 

“I really don’t think it will be much fun,” I muttered softly but Margaery was already exclaiming about getting clothes for both her and Sansa and whisking out of the dorm room with promises of returning shortly with new clothes. Sansa turned to me once she was gone. 

“Did you say you don’t care that Renly will be there?” Sansa asked, concern fliting across her face. I rubbed my eyes and sighed, not feeling like explaining but knowing she would never not let me. 

“We’re in a fight, kind of, I guess,” I said softly. Sansa quickly sat down next to me, taking my hand. 

“Why?” Her voice was gentle. And I couldn’t quite remember how I had gone about life without Sansa’s ever present mothering. She rubbed circles in my hand as I talked. 

“It’s silly, really, now that I have to say it out loud,” I sighed, “He’s mad because I don’t want to tell everyone I’m gay. Or well, that we’re gay, for each other,” 

“But you should tell everyon-“ 

“Dammit Sansa, I don’t want to!” I tugged my hand away from her and stood up, anger forming in the pit of my stomach. Sansa looked up at me, I expected her to look frightened but she only looked concerned even more. “It will just screw up this nice little world I’ve got laid out! People will make fun of me, I won’t be happy, the soccer critics won’t take me series! If I ever go pro I will only ever be know as Loras-the-fucking-gay-defender-Tyrell!” I was yelling now, but I didn’t really care, “Margaery will never treat me the same again, my brothers, well I don’t even want to go there, not to mention my parents!” Sansa watched me silently, “It isn’t what I want my life to be like!”

Sansa let the silence fall for a little bit as I heaved in air, happy that I had got that out of my stystem, but not happy that I had yelled at Sansa. 

“You may not want your life to be that way, but I don’t think you will ever be happy intill you except that you’re life is going to be the way you don’t want it to be,”She said, speaking in a soft even tone that I couldn’t help but be relaxed by, “Besdies, I think Loras-the-gay-fucking-defender-Tyrell sounds like a pretty cool guy,” Sansa smiled gently and I stared at my feet. 

“You really think so?”

“I know so,” Sansa said, taking my hand in her’s again, “No one is going to treat you any different if you’re gay or not. Or atleast, if they do, they don’t deserve you attention,” She said. I nodded slowly, taking my hand from hers and sitting back down. She followed my suit and we sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Margaery returned, sporting tanktops and short-shorts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly I think this story is starting to come to a close. I think two more chapters after this.


	12. Chapter 12

Sansa’s car was bright red, and with every rock that flew up and hit the side of it’s flawless paint I cringed from my spot in the passenger seat. Sansa didn’t seem as concerned with the rocks as she did with how low cut the tank top Margaery had put on her was, and every once in a while she would reach down and pull it up self consciously. 

“Margaery put your seatbelt on,” Sansa had said softly when we had got into the car to make our way to the soccer boy party. Margaery had laughed at her from the back seat of the convertible and shook her head. I had swiveled my head to glare at her and Margaery had returned my concern with a middle finger. We had decided to not fight her and instead took off down the road. 

The dirt road, or more of a path, felt a lot less bumpy when my feet pounded endlessly on it. But as we drove on it I could practically feel Margaery's butt bouncing off the seat every time we hit a pothole. Sansa was the most tense I have ever seen her, between Margaery shouldering her to turn the radio up and the shirt that was clearly making her uncomfortable I could only figure she wanted to be anywhere but in this car with the Tyrell siblings. 

Robb had decided to hold the party in the most normal place on campus to hold parties; the back field. The back field being an abandoned football field that the school used before they had built a new one. It was overgrown, disgusting and a general tick breeding ground. But it was the place to hold parties on campus if you couldn’t manage to get a place off campus. I pointed to the field as it approached on our right and Margaery whooped with excitement. 

Sansa pulled the car to park next to Theon’s truck. The back of said truck was open, Theon and Robb sitting on the tail of it. Each of them had a beer in their hands and I tried to stop myself from rolling my eyes at them. As we climbed out of the car Robb leaped off the back of the truck and approached us. 

“No way Sansa is staying here,” He stated bluntly, crossing his arms and frowning as Sansa looked at the ground. “You aren’t either, Margaery!” Robb pointed a finger at her and she glared back. “This is a soccer boy’s party only. Last I checked neither of you where boys or play soccer!” He exclaimed. 

“Hey, just let them stay,” I attempted weakly. I really didn’t want to be at this party either, so maybe I would have a chance to get out of it if Sansa and Margaery were forced to go home. 

“They’re cool, Robb, just let them stay.” I recognized Renly’s voice before his hand hit my butt, squeezing firmly. I squawked and jumped away from him, bumping into Sansa. Robb clearly saw Renly’s hand and I glared at the dark haired Baratheon who was grinning like he had won something. I hadn’t seen the boy since our disagreement in the locker room yesterday, and my anger over it hadn’t subsided much. Renly held up his hands in surrender, “What’s the sour looks for?” He asked cocking his head to one side. I noted the stain on his shirt and then the beer in one of his hands. Margaery and Robb were exchanging glances and I felt the anger boil in my stomach. He touched me, in front of people, exactly what I had told him not to do. And he was drinking, another thing that I knew he knew I hated. 

Swiftly Sansa grabbed Robb’s hand, “Why don’t you just let us stay for a little bit,” She begged, thankfully returning Robb, Theon and Margaery to something other than the icy look I was giving Renly. Robb stuck his chin up a bit but nodded after a moment. 

“Fine, but just because we need sober refs for the game.” He stated, “That mean neither of you get to drink.” The eldest Stark boy pointed between the two girls. Sansa nodded, happy with the compromise, but Margaery looked a little upset about it.

“C’mon then, shows us how to be proper refs,” Sansa said as she tugged the three of them away from Renly and I. I thanked her silently, still wondering how I lived without her. Then I turned on Renly, who was nursing the beer silently, watching every move I made. 

“You’re drinking,” 

“Well thank you Captain Obvious!” Renly chuckled, reaching out his free hand to touch my hair. I brushed his hand away. 

“You know I don’t like when you drink Renly!” I growled at him. He laughed at this and took another drink from his beer. 

“Frankly, Loras, I’m not really concerned with how you feel about my actions right now. Considering you don’t seem to have any interest in how I feel.” Renly snapped back, “But hey, if you want to disapprove of something someone does who is obviously of no importance of you than be my guest.” I could feel the anger threatening to over boil in my throat and before I really could stop myself I found my fists clenched firmly at my side. 

“You know that's not true.” I told him, gritting my teeth to stop from yelling. Renly shrugged his shoulders. 

“I’m not really sure what’s true or not anymore.” He muttered, “I can assume from the current turn of events that you lied and you aren’t gay and you don’t want to have a relationship with me otherwise you would have been much more willing to tell everyone the truth!” Renly took another big drink of the beer, finishing the bottle off. “So why should I care what you think?” He snarled, his voice getting louder. “You’re just playing with me, probably have some bet with the team or something!” 

“Oh I’m playing with you?” I couldn’t help myself from yelling at him, “I am playing with you? That’s interesting, I happen to remember you kissing my fucking sister, and pretending to not give a goddamn fuck about me, and you have the audacity to say I am playing with you! Really Renly, can you be an more self centered?!” I was screaming now and had stepped closer to him. Renly was glaring down at me, and suddenly threw the beer bottle to the side and grabbed my cheek forcing me into a kiss I didn’t want. 

“Stop, don’t do that!” I growled against his lips. Of course he didn’t stop and moved to that stop behind my ear that he loved so much, sucking on it. I pushed against his chest, knowing that I was more than strong enough to push him away. “Renly stop!” I snapped, pushing harder. He made his way back to my lips, his beard scratching at my chin. Before I could stop myself my fist found itself hitting his cheek. He stumbled backwards from the hit and I snapped out of my anger. 

“Loras, did..” He started, holding his cheek, “... did you just hit me?” His voice cracked a little bit. 

“Oh my god Renly, I-I didn’t mean that,” I rushed to him, touching his cheek gently but he pushed me off. I could see the bruise forming. “I’m so sorry, we need to leave, that looks really bad.” Renly glared at me. 

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” He snarled before stalking off around the car towards the field, holding his cheek. I watched him go, collapsing back against Sansa’s perfect red car. I had only sat there for a moment before Jon rounded the car thumbing over his shoulder at what I can only guess was Renly. 

“What happened to him?” He exclaimed. I decided it was best to lie and just shrugged. 

“I dunno,” I mumbled. Jon offered me one of the beer’s he was holding and I took it silently. Jon popped it open for me quickly and then allowed me to take a drink. 

“Good, you need to drink three before you can play. I want you on my team because we have to have that stupid ass JV goalie.” Jon informed me. I almost spit out the first sip I had taken of the beer; one because it tasted so bad, and two because Jon expected me to drink three beers in the matter of about a half an hour. 

None the less, a half an hour later I was standing out of the makeshift soccer field, glancing at my fellow defender Theon and the JV goalie. Margaery and Sansa had bandanas tied around their heads to signify their honorary positions as refs and Jon and Robb were hollering profanities at each other from across the 50 meter mark in the middle of the field. My team comprised as a JV striker along with Jon and Jorah as the other two on the front lines. Then Gendry and two other JV midfielders and finally Theon me and the goalie. 

Margaery made her way to the middle of the field, holding the ball above her head before gently placing it in front of Robb, who has won the coin toss they had orchestrated earlier. Well, it wasn’t much of a coin toss. Margaery just spun a beer bottle around and which ever it landed on got the ball first. She back peddled off to the side of the field before yelling for the game to begin. 

Robb stumbled in his first pass and it only went about three feet allowing Jon to scoop it up easily in between his giggles. He dodged around the other teams middies surprisingly easily because of how drunk he was but Renly, even with his purple eye, was hot on his trail. But a stroke of luck I didn’t see coming Jon passed the ball over to the JV striker who stumbled a bit but kicked a pretty weak ball towards goal. Jamie had been laughing too much over the state of everyone to really comprehend that the ball had gotten so close to the goal and it got passed him. Theon whooped next to me, and the JV goalie mumbled something I didn’t really hear.

The ball didn’t really make it down onto my side of the field in till we had scored another goal on Jamie, which was once again nothing short of a miracle. Renly was hauling down the sidelines, with no one really getting in his way. Jon attempted to, but failed, and pretty soon he was into our defensive zone. The JV defender, even when Renly was completely hammered, didn’t stand a chance against him and pretty soon it was just Renly versus me. 

I could tell from the look in his eyes he had planned this. 

I block tackled him with ease, stealing the ball quickly and taking off up the side line. Renly recovered surprisingly quickly and was pressuring me closer to the sideline then I really wanted to be, fearing the ball would go out of bounds. Smoothly Renly took the ball back from me and once again we were heading back down the sidelines towards the JV goalie and Theon. I sprinted ahead of Renly trying to get my back to face the goal again so could pressure him. Swiftly he passed it off the Robb who was yelling about being open. Renly stumbled into me as he slowed from the sprint and I attempted to stay in front of him to keep him covered. 

Unfortunately I was forced to leave him open to cover Robb who I decided was a bit more dangerous. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Renly double back up the field as I stole the ball out from under Robb’s feet. I was generally sick of the ball being on our side of the field and didn’t bother to check if anyone was in front of me before absolutely slamming the ball up the field. 

It didn’t make it very far before Renly stopped it, with his face that was. 

Margaery called for a time out and Sansa and me rushed over the Renly who was holding the side of his face that was not already black from my punch. In less than two hours I had managed to hit Renly twice in the face, and honestly it was making me feel a lot better. I still did feel bad about hitting him though. 

“Are you alright?” I asked him, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even check to see if someone was in the way.” I muttered. Renly didn’t answer, but he looked a little dazed. 

“He might have a concussion,” Sansa mused over my ear, “Look how glazed over his eyes are!” She exclaimed. “I’ll take him back to the nurse!” 

“No! Then the school will know that we are out here!” Robb exclaimed, jogging over to us. 

“I’ll take him back.” I volunteered quickly, “And keep an eye on him.” Sansa looked as if she was going to protest but before she could really do that I grasped Renly’s forearm tightly and lead him away from the field. He was waking up from his daze once we reached his car and I fished the keys out of his pockets. 

“You hit me.” He slurred, half drunk and holding his head. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” I mumbled, pushing him into the back seat and guiding him to lie down on the seats. I shut the back door once I was sure he was safely in the car and climbed into the drivers seat. In silence I backed his car out of the spot it was in and took off down the dusty road. We hit a particularly large bump and Renly groaned in the back seat. 

“You hit me.” He restated. I sighed, looking at him in the rear view mirror. 

“I already said I was sorry,” I said again, looking at the school building as they approached. 

“No, you just apologized for the soccer ball, not the actual punch.” Renly said. I was glad he was coming out of the daze, and from the occasional looks at him his eyes looked a lot better. 

“I’m sorry about that too.” 

“No you’re not.” Renly snapped. I stayed silent till I had parked and car and safely lead him back to his dorm room. Because it was a weekend his roommate (I couldn’t remember the kid’s name for the life of me) was out. Gently I pushed Renly down onto his bed and took a seat next to him. I tried to have a look at his cheek where I had hit him but Renly turned his face from me. I sighed and let my hands fall into my lap. 

“I am really sorry about hitting you, I mean the first time, I just got angry at you, and couldn't stop myself.” I confessed. Renly still wouldn’t look at me. I placed a gentle hand on the nape of his neck, caressing the baby hairs that grew there. Renly relaxed a little. “What you said, and did, it just really hurt.” I mumbled, taking my hand back to pick at my fingernails. “I just didn’t want to show us off to the world because I was scared. Scared at someone is going to make fun of me, scared that I would be treated differently, all because of something I have been this whole time.” I sighed deeply, “But I realize now, that I’m more scared to lose you, than to be judge by someone that doesn't really matter.” 

I had closed my eyes as I talked but I felt Renly pick my hand up and kiss the tips of my fingers and my open palm, and took that as my signal to open my eyes. He had turned to face me finally, the bruise was really bad looking, but before I could really inspect it he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. 

“I get it.” He said softly. And that was all he said. I didn’t feel like I needed anymore of an apology, I just needed him to understand where I was coming from. 

“That bruise looks really bad.” I told him, a smile growing on my face, “But it really brings out your eyes.” I smirked, remembering my broken nose incident. Renly laughed a little, but the smile must have hurt his cheek because he cringed. “C’mon, I better take you to the hospital.” 

A few x-rays and CT scans later the ER doctor concluded that Renly had an orbital fracture, but it was not that severe, and all he needed to do was ice it to keep the swelling down. And as the doctor told Renly what he needed to do to fix it I told his hand in mine and rubbed circles with my thumb, not caring that the doctor had seen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, sorry for not posting, school took over my life. Summer is approaching now so I am determined to finish this!


	13. Chapter 13

The fracture in Renly’s orbital socket didn’t look much better when we were getting ready for the game, the final game that was. The area around his eye was completely black, and puffed up. Granted, it did look a lot better than it had when it had originally happened. Once we had gotten back from the ER the swelling had increased so much that he was having trouble even keeping the eye open. But every time I saw it I felt a little twinge of guilt. 

No one on the team had brought it up, thankfully, and the nurse at school had accepted that he had just gotten hit in practice as an excuse for it. Everything surrounding that incident had gone surprisingly well. That was for, except, Renly and my current affairs. He had accepted my apology for hitting him on purpose. But he had not made much of an effort to address if we wanted to continue our makeshift relationship. 

Frankly I wasn’t sure exactly what I had wanted. I definitely didn’t want to lose Renly, but was a relationship really the answer? We could just continue to be friends. Unfortunately even as I laced up my cleats I was contemplating Renly, instead of focusing on the game. Jamie was going on about something in my right ear, but I wasn’t exactly paying attention to him and the stench of his goalie gloves was starting to make my eyes water. 

“I mean, I get why she was mad, I did stand her up and everything but it was just a tough time! I thought she might understand, right? Is that really too much to ask for?” Jamie babbled, waving those disgusting gloves around. I covered my nose with my free hand.

“Do you even hear yourself? You just said you stood her up! She has all the right to be mad!” Robb piped up from across the locker room, clearly listening to our conversation. 

“Um, excuse me last I check I wasn’t talking to you, Prince Charming!” Jamie snapped back, throwing a goalie glove at Robb. Robb flinched as it landed on his lap. 

“Oh god it’s touching me, I’m infected now, help.” Robb drawled sarcastically and Jon took pity of him, pinching the glove between his forefinger and thumb like it was a piece of toxic waste before chucking it back to Jamie. Jamie caught it smoothly and shook it threateningly at them before turning back to me. I had finished with my cleats and had fished my mouth guard out of it’s plastic bag. Jamie glared down at me as I chewed nervously on the corner of it. 

“Stop that,” He muttered, motioning to the mouth guard. “And stop bouncing your leg, it’s shaking the bench,” Jamie added. I hadn’t even noticed my leg bouncing and immediately halted my movements. 

“He just does that when he is nervous,” Renly added, from his spot on the other side of me, pushing his fingers through the back of my hair. Jamie eyed his movements silently, quirking an eyebrow. I looked over at Renly in a silent command for him to stop touching my hair, which he abided by, allowing his hand to slip back down into his lap. 

It was then that coach made his way into the locker room, followed by the administrator of the school who was in charge of sports. I think he attempted to give us a pep talk about the game, but I was to nervous to really focus. Pretty soon we were jogging out onto the field, the Astapor soccer team already running a steady warm up lap around the goals. Robb and Jamie attempted to lead us through warm ups, but I kept finding myself looking over at the other team. There were a few pretty big guys, and I was kind of unsure for a second if I was going to be able to even stand a chance against them. I knew the team was unbeaten this season, and that only added to my nerves about the game. 

In a flash coach was pulling us all together again, and briefly I saw Margaery, Sansa and Daenerys sitting on the grass with the rest of the crowd. Margaery waved happily at me, a smile spread from ear to ear on her face. I managed to wave weakly back at her and force a smile before Renly had an arm around me on one side and Robb on the other. Coach huddled us all together and told us how much he wanted us to win or something, I never really payed attention to his speeches. He spit out to starting line up, which was exactly how I had expected it to be. Jorah, Jon and Robb at the top, then Gendry and Rakharo in the middle, Stannis and me in the back and finally Jamie in goal. I swear for a second Renly looked upset for have to take the bench next to Theon but I knew he should have known better than expecting to start. Him and Theon where the two juniors, meaning they had all next year to play while the rest of us didn’t, it made sense for all the seniors to start. Plus he was injured. 

Jamie walked with me towards the end of the field. Unfortunately we had lost the coin toss to Astapor, and they had picked the side of the field without the setting sun in their eyes and forfeited the ball to us. Jamie shielded his eyes from the sun and tapped the side of the goal post. I took my position, leaping from foot to foot, and jogged forward slightly when the ref blew the whistle. 

Robb kicked it back to Gendry who took it up the right side of the field, easily passing it between himself and Jorah up in the front. They weren't making it very far up the field, just making mindless passes near the midline. Once in awhile one of the strikers from Astapor would take it from them, but somebody would end up taking it back. No one was really gaining any ground. Eventually one of the more nimble Astapor strikers snagged the ball from Gendry and took off in the breakaway towards Stannis. Stannis did a good job distracting him to give me time to cover the other striker that was tapping the side of the goal and yelling for a pass and allow Gendry and Rakharo to come down to play defensive mids. Pretty soon though the striker took a shot on the goal, but he was a little too far to the side and it just soared across the goal. Jamie’s fingers nicked it. It didn’t matter too much and Jon who had wandered a little too close to the defensive side took it back up towards the other goal.

This went on for a while, not that many threatening shots on goal for either side. Finally though, Astapor managed to break away faster than Stannis and I had really anticipated. The striker weaved around me and I couldn’t catch him fast enough before he took a strong shot on goal. Jamie guessed the striker would kick it to the right, when he really went to the left, leaving Jamie jumping in the wrong direction. The goal went in smoothly and I could practically hear coach groaning at our failure from my spot on the field. 

“It’s not your fault,” I yelled the Jamie, watching him look to the metal stands where a guy in an official looking jacket with a college logo stitched onto it wrote something down in a notebook. Jamie shook his hands out. “You’re nervous, it’s alright,” I assured him, Stannis nodded behind me. We returned to our starting positions, more determined than before. It showed for a while, Robb took a good shot on goal and Jon tapped it more on course with his head. Unluckily the goalie saw it coming and snapped the ball cleanly out of the air. Robb, Jon and Jorah took a few more threatening shots on goal, but none of them went in. 

At around the seventy minute mark coach switched Stannis for Theon, but Renly still hadn’t gotten a chance to play. And time was running out. Astapor managed to get another goal in, which I think was why coach swapped Stannis and Theon. With twenty minutes left we needed to get three goals to win, two to tie and go into a penalty shoot out. I was starting to doubt our striker’s abilities when finally Robb faked the goalie out and kicked a goal into the right hand corner. 

Even from my spot on the field I could hear Margaery’s high pitched scream of encouragement to Robb as I backpedaled to my starting spot on the field. For the next ten minutes Stannis and I received no threats from Astapor’s strikers because Robb and the rest of them were holding the ball above the fifty meter mark. All of Jon’s attempts on goal weren’t going in and I could sense Robb’s frustration as the slight ball-hogging from all the way across the field. He was snapping at Jon and pretty soon coach called an aggressive time out, waving only the strikers back to the side lines. I hung back with Jamie. 

He was eyeing the crowd nervously, clearly looking at the man with the jacket and clipboard. I followed his gaze, resting my forehead against the cold metal of the goal post. The May evening humidity was heavy on my shoulders. 

“Is he a scout?” I mumbled to Jamie, my voice surprisingly soft considering how high tension this game was. Jamie nodded silently, and didn’t bother to say any more on the matter. But by the way he was tapping his hand against his leg I could tell he was nervous about the scout being there. 

The strikers jogged back from the time out and I was slightly shocked to see Jon take a huffing sit down on the bench and Renly in his place on the field. Coach also waved Theon back from the field and replaced him with Stannis once again. We fell back into our positions and the game began again. Pretty swiftly one of the Astapor defenders weaved his way around Renly and took a swinging kick sending the ball sailing back in our territory.

“Got it! Got it!” I yelled to Stannis jogging up to headbutt the ball out of the air and start up the right sideline. The defender had kicked it far enough that everyone besides Stannis and me had to recover backwards to it, so I had the ball to myself for a little bit up the sidelines before the striker came barreling in. He was a big guy, definitely had been doing his push ups, but his attempt at a tackle block was weak and I dodged him easily, earning a scream of support from Sansa and Margaery. Who were a lot closer to me than I expected, I hadn’t realized I was about forty meters up. Suddenly desperate to get rid of the ball I scanned silently for a teammate. Robb yelled, waving his arms and I passed him the ball before doubling back. Smooth as I had ever seen them do, he passed the ball to Jorah who was standing at the ready by the goal post and took the liberty to tap it into the goal, surprisingly the goalie, who must have no realized someone was on his post. 

The crowd roared in approval and Robb and Jorah met in the field to exchange smiles and a solid high five before return to their starting positions. I glanced at the clock to note with a slight shock that there was only five minutes left and the game was tied up. Three more minutes passed on without much gain from either team, and Robb was starting to get nervous, I could tell by his constant yelling. Coach was yelling too, and so was the crowd. A striker barreled down into our defensive zone and aimed a strong kick on goal but Jamie was quick enough to catch it and fall to the ground to hold it. I clapped him on the back but he did not do anything except look to the scout in the stands before sending the ball flying back down towards the other side of the field. Gendry picked it up cleanly on the right side of the field and both Jorah and Robb ran a view yards in front of him, yelling for the pass. The clock felt like it was moving way faster then it should be as it went under a minute.

I watched Gendry debate who to pass it too before deciding on Jorah, the pass went smoothly and Jorah smoothly passed it over to Robb, avoiding a defender in the process. Robb’s foot swung back in that arch it always made before he kicked it hard and I felt my heart race, there was no way Astapor’s keeper could stop that ball.

But he did. 

The crowd roared in disapproval and I heard Jamie yell something from behind me as Robb, in his forward momentum, tripped over the keeper on the ground along with one of the defenders. They collapsed into the goal and as they tripped over him the ball slipped from the keeper’s fingers, rolling about four feet from him. Jamie and Stannis where yelling again and my breath caught in my throat as Renly seemed to appear out of nowhere and swung his foot back to kick the ball up and over the keeper who was still on the ground. 

I think I screamed, but I couldn’t really tell over the sound of the buzzer and the crowd and the feeling of Jamie jumping onto my back and yelling at the top of his lungs. Stannis joined us as we ran to the other side of the field where the rest of the team was already yelling and screaming and jumping on Renly. I could see his black hair through the limbs and heads of other people and all of our arguments left my head. He found me, I’m not even sure how and pulled me to him, his fingers interlocking with mine, and I don’t know why I didn’t care if my team saw. Maybe it was because this was the last time I was going to celebrate with this team or maybe it was the high of winning the championship but before I could stop him he was crushing our lips together in the middle of the team. 

I could feel his sweaty jersey touch my arm and our teeth bumped together accidently before I pulled away. In the back of my mind I feared of what I team would say, I’m not even sure who saw, but if anybody saw nobody said anything and Renly’s hand brushed my hip. Somebody jeered at the kiss and somebody else, I think it was Jamie yelled; “Took you long enough!”

Renly grinned, lopsided as always, at me and I kissed the corners of his mouth, his cheeks, his eyelids, covering him in kisses. The team was starting to break up their circle now, moving back towards the sidelines, still yelling in excitement.

“I-I can’t believe you did, that was amazing!” I exclaimed, pulling away from him and starting to follow the rest of the team. 

“Geez, if I had known all I had to do to get you to kiss me in public was to win the Championship for you I would have done it ages ago,” Renly joked, his hand brushing against mine as we walked. I felt the embarrassment creep into my face as Robb doubled back, pushing his way in between the two of us and wrapping us under his arms.

“So, when were you planning on telling the team. I mean, we already all knew, but besides that,” Robb started jabbering and Renly retorted back something I didn’t really hear because Margaery and Sansa had appeared also, sweeping me away from Renly and Robb and into their own much more bird like frames. Margaery grinned at me. 

“I saw that, which doesn’t matter, what does matter was that mom and dad might have,” She pointed towards the metal bleachers, and behind her grin I could see the slight look of fear. I followed her gaze to see my parents, which I hadn’t really expected to be here and swallowed. Mom was waving and smiling at me and Dad stood next to her with his hands stuffed into his pockets. I waved weakly back. 

“They saw?” I mumbled, Margaery nodded grimly. This sickly feeling in my stomach was the reason why I hadn’t wanted to come out. This was the feeling I had wanted to avoid but as I retreated back to the team and in turn the locker room I felt it bubbling in the pit of my stomach. The whole team changed out of the sweat soaked uniforms and back into track pants and sweatshirts, still whooping and clapping Renly on the back in the process. I pulled my grey sweatshirt over my shoulders, leaving the hood up to cover my face and shoulder my bag. Fulling intending to escape from the locker room unscaved and return to my room until the unease in my stomach settled. Renly caught me though, just as I was out the door, he laced his finger through mine and went to pull them away but he just held tighter. 

“Just accept it,” He said to me as we walked and eventually I let my arm relax into his. “Just accept the undeniable fact that Loras Tyrell is completely and understandably gay because of the amazing Renly Baratheon. Junior who won the Championship because Jon Snow was being an ass and got taken out of the game.” Renly waved his free hand like he was painting a sign and I snorted. He smiled widely as we reached the split in the path between Junior and Senior dorms and with his free hand pulled the hood of my sweatshirt off of my head, touching the curls that lay underneath it. 

“Hey,” I protested weakly, reaching to pull the hood back onto my head but Renly stopped me, still smiling. “Let me hide the shame that is my disgusting hair,” 

“Your hair is wonderful, even when it’s sweaty,” Renly said back to me and I rolled my eyes. 

“Please no corny compliments,” I stated, trying to hide my slight smile. Renly touched the mark behind my ear and the unease in my stomach seemed to simmer down. 

“Can I apologize to you?”

“Please do.” 

“I’m sorry,” Renly said, and I think that might have been the first time I heard him apologize for something. “I’m sorry that I tried to push you out of the fort you had nicely build around yourself. And I’m sorry that I got angry at you for not wanting to step out of it on your own.” I thought maybe he was going to keep talking be he didn’t and I let the smile that was hanging onto the corner of my mouth come out. 

“I forgive you.” I said softly and Renly’s grin return to his face as he leaned up to catch me in a gentle kiss again, much softer than I had even felt him give me before. “But I guess we are out to the world now.” He hummed in response, kissing between my eyebrows.

“And you haven't burst into flames yet.”

“Yet.” 

Renly laughed, his head tilting backwards a bit to expose his neck. He was beautiful, sweat covered and sticky. 

_Thou is allowed to think thou’s boyfriend’s neck is nice looking._

He smiled from ear to ear at me and I returned it, the unease in my stomach disappearing like a wisp of smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey I'm back. Gonna finish this now I swear I love it too much to leave it here unfinished. 
> 
> Side note, if you want to see what Renly's goal looked like I took it from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUCcWks-T_E From :59 to 1:10


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't really important to the story, just some Renly/Loras love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has been with me through this two year adventure that has been this story! Onto the next one I guess?

A month later, on the fourth of June, I walked across the stage to receive my diploma from the head administrator of King’s Academy. I smiled fully, and as I trotted down the steps from the stage with the diploma in hand I found my way to the group of soccer seniors. Jamie hugged me and made some remark that I had laughed at. My mother and father found me to give me hugs and praises and cheek kisses; nothing said about Renly. But that all seemed so far away even though it was only a month after. I was freed from high school, had moved out of my dorm, and said my goodbye’s to most of my friends. 

That was except for Renly, who was determined to stay near me, even if we lived about an hour from each other. He lounged across my bed, an arm wrapped firmly around my waist. And while he was focused intensely on the soccer game playing on my laptop, I was looking out the window, watching the wind and the summer rain toss around the leaves on the trees. It was muggy, the kind of day that feels heavy, but not really all that warm.

Renly seemed to notice my gaze and nuzzled his nose into my hair, breathing gently on my neck.

“What are you looking at?” He asked softly, rubbing a gentle circle on my hip bone. I turned my head to look back at him, bumping his nose in the process.

“Nothing,” I mumbled back, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. He smiled, pressing back to indicate he wanted a deeper kiss. I granted it to him, parting my lips slightly so I could bite on his bottom lip. He sucked in a breath at that and I felt his hand slip lower on my hip. Smiling into the kiss I reached up to hold the side of his jaw and run my fingers along the baby hairs at the base of his neck. Breaking apart from him I moved to press soft kiss along his jawline, using my hand to push his head to the side to give me access to his neck, where I could suck gently on the skin there. 

The thing about Renly and I’s relationship is that he has experience, and I don’t. So sometimes I struggle to keep up with him, and sometimes he struggles to slow down for me. But we’ve overcome most of it, and I’ve learned what Renly likes and what he doesn’t. I made a mental list of both.

Things Renly likes:

Neck kisses

Touching my butt

When I bite his lip

Things Renly doesn’t like:

Kissing his stomach (he claims it tickles)

Too much tongue 

When I’m too gentle with him. 

As if to confirm my list he mumbled something in my ear about my kisses being too soft and rolls us over so he can kneel on his forearms and legs over me forcefully pushing my head aside to suck and bite at my neck. I gasp and I can feel him grin against my skin, kissing the mark he just made.

“You’re a barbarian,” I grunted at him, trying to look down at the mark he made, just darkening one he had made the week before. Always in the same spot, where my neck and shoulder meet, I had grown used to having a dark spot there, it reminded me of him when we were separated. 

“You always say that,” Renly laughed, pulling at the neckline of my shirt to kiss along my collarbone. 

“It’s because you are!” I snapped back, carding my hands through his hair as he carefully chose another spot to suck on. 

“I think it’s my most redeeming quality.” He stated against my skin and I laugh before trying to squirm away from him when he started to slip his hands underneath the hem of my shirt. 

“Fuck, your hands are cold,” I murmured to him as his hands wandered farther up my chest. Renly just laughed more at my statement, pulling back a bit to kiss my lips before leaning back to pull my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side as he went back to the work he was doing on my chest. 

“I think I know a way we can make them warmer,”

“You’re horrible,” I rolled my eyes, bending my knee up slightly to bump against the hardness I already knew would be there. Renly signed against my skin, resting his chin on my chest to meet my gaze and I raised an eyebrow at him, rubbing my knee back and forth. “Already that excited? What are you a fourteen year old boy?” I teased.

“Fifteen to be exact,” He grunted, scooting up to capture my lips again and letting his hips fall down to meet mine. “You’re such a hypocrite!” Renly snapped, pulling back from the kiss once our hips met. I laughed, louder than I should have and shrugged my shoulders at him. Taking the opportunity to flip our positions and straddle his hips. He sighed again at the friction as I rocked forward a bit.

“So what if I am?” I smirked down at him as his hands slipped down my chest to hold my hips, pressing me down firmly against him as he bucked his hips upwards. This earned him a slight moan from my mouth as he rocked against my backside. Renly grinned back up at me, looking like he thought he was successful in something. Pretty soon his hands were drifting back and moving towards my crotch, palming me gently through my jeans. And I leaned backwards on the heels of palms and Renly sat up, kissing me again, this time much more jarring and lust full, keeping me in his lap. 

He pulled away and I pushed my hair out of my face, it was getting much longer than how I normally kept it. Renly smiled again, it seemed like he was always smiling now, even if we had started with a rocky take off our relationship was generally happy now. I didn’t want to think of the fall when I would go to college, and Renly would go back to King’s Academy, but still the thoughts slipped into my mind, the smile falling off my lips. Renly didn’t seem to notice it though, taking his hand to push the curls of my hair behind my ear. 

“You’re beautiful,” He murmured, almost to quiet for me to hear and I covered my eyes, not wanting to see the gaze he was giving me. It was so loving and lustfilled I was afraid I might disintegrate if I looked into his eyes any more. Renly laughed and pulled my hands from my face, interlocking them with his own. Leaning in once more to kiss me. Shifting once more I pressed him back into the pillows and pulled away to pull his shirt from his shoulders, pausing for a moment to wonder how his skin was so much tanner than mine before I went to work kissing down his chest, being carefully to avoid his stomach because I knew he disliked it. 

Soon enough my nose was nuzzled in the curls of hair at the bottom of his stomach as I kissed along his waistband. Renly’s smile was gone when I looked up at him, but it returned once our eyes met. He pushed the curls of my hair out of my face as I moved lower, kissing at the hardness present there though the denim of his jeans. Renly sucked in an unsteady breath as my hands moved to the button on his jeans. 

“You sure?” He asked, catching my hand for a second. We hadn’t done this before, hell I had never done anything near to this before. I nodded slowly and he released my hand. We struggled together for a moment with his jeans, trying to push them down over his hips. A few laughs later we were back to business, Renly’s jeans tossed onto the floor. I thanked the lord above that my parents and older brothers were gone for the weekend and that Margaery had chosen to go out for the afternoon. I sat up a bit to admire him for a second and he caught my gaze, that ever present lopsided grin returning. 

Carefully I hooked my thumbs under his boxers and pulled, but he caught my hand swiftly, stopping me. 

“What-”

“Take off your pants,” It wasn’t a questions and I shrugged as I climbed off of him to shimmy out of my jeans before returning to him. Renly guided my hips to his and it was so much warmer and closer than everything we had done before even if the thin layer of our boxers still separated us, and I groaned a little. Renly smirked, pressing his chin forward, seeking a kiss. I gave him one and as he nibbled at my lip his hand slipped underneath my boxers. I moaned into his lips as he took me into his hand, stroking up and down a few times. I never realized that having someone else do what I do to myself could feel so much better. 

The rain pattered against the window and Renly’s tongue slipped into my mouth, moving along my own and it suddenly felt as if the room’s temperature had skyrocketed. I pulled away from him, breathing heavily and reached down clumsily to push his boxers down, trying to mimic what Renly was doing to me on him. He was smirking again and I wished I could kiss that smirk off his face. I tried too, but when I pulled away he was still smirking. 

Grunting slightly I removed my hand and pushed him backwards onto the bed sheets and once I pressed my lips against the tip of him his smirk disappeared, replaced by a slight gasp. Now this was something I definitely have no experience with, unsure where to start I licked from base to the tip and Renly groaned, his hand finding my hair and pressing my head downward. Carefully, I slipped him into my mouth, watching his face for any signs of what was good and what was bad. He guided my head up and down and I allowed him to take control of it.

The rain was hitting the window harder than before, and a little while later I collapsed onto the pillows, running my hands through my sweaty hair. The humidity wasn’t doing it any favor, I thought. It curled against my neck and I watched as Renly stood and stretched, his back to me. I watched his neck and back muscles contract and relax as he reached his hands to the ceiling in a big cat stretch. 

He was stunning. And he knew it. 

Renly glanced over his shoulder and grinned at me, lopsided as always before moving to the window on the opposite side of the room. He pulled it open and I felt the colder wind of the rain rush across my bare shoulders from where I laid on the bed. Renly returned to me, laying next to me and placing an arm under his head to prop it up. 

“Loras?”

“Mmh?” I arched an eyebrow at him, closing my eyes so I wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. Still in fear that I might melt if I met his gaze for too long. 

“I love you.” He said it so quietly I thought I had imagined it. Opening my eyes I meet his gaze, surprisingly I didn’t melt. Renly didn’t smile at me, and my breath caught a little bit in my throat. 

“I love you too,” I murmured back to him, hoping that would return the grin to his face. Renly looked best when he was smiling. It did and he nuzzled closer to me, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. I dipped my head down to bury it in his hair. “I love you so so much,” I whispered to him as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling our bodies together. 

I could feel him smiling against my skin. 

_Thou is allowed to love thou’s best friend._


End file.
